How can I improve my relationship with my parents? 6 Tips
By modifying day-to-day habits, we can make these emotional bonds stronger.
The family is a context of relationships in which it is usually easy to have happy moments, but there are also common cases of people who believe that their relationship with other family members can be improved. While arguments between siblings are a constant in certain households where there are children, it is the relationship with parents that is more likely to leave entrenched problems for years.
How can I improve my relationship with my parents? This is the question asked by those who, due to differences, past conflicts or misunderstandings of all kinds, see how time goes by and this bond of affection does not give as much as it should.
In this article we will see some tips on how to improve the relationship with fathers and mothers, and how these guidelines can be applied according to several examples.
How to improve the relationship with parents
The following steps to follow are general guidelines that work in many cases, although each family is unique and you have to know how to adapt them to what you live in your day to day.
1. Create expectations of good behavior
One of the mechanisms that facilitates the improvement of a relationship has to do with openly showing that our perception of a person is good or, if we already know him or her, that he or she has changed for the better. In this way, the other person sees a positive reflection of your identity, and seeks not to miss this opportunity to continue to enjoy a good image.
For example, we can thank a parent for a favor he or she has done for us, and do so with an emphasis that shows that we especially appreciate what he or she has done. that we especially appreciate what he or she has done for us.. It is good to stop to think and recognize their effort invested in actions that benefit us and that, out of habit, we often take for granted.
This strategy may seem banal, but with this simple strategy, repeated several times, you can give that little boost needed to improve the relationship, especially in those cases in which relational problems were maintained by the inertia of believing despised by the other person.
2. Dedicate time to them
To improve a relationship with parents, it is always necessary to spend more time with them. These moments will help to know their points of view, to give them the opportunity to break our expectations about what we think are their tastes and opinions, and of course, to express affection..
For example, you can go from having lunch at your own time to having it together, or spending Sunday mornings going for a walk, etc.
3. Reminisce together about happy moments
This is one of the easiest steps to improve the relationship with parents, since it involves, simply, remembering together and out loudThis is one of the easiest steps to improve the relationship with the parents, as it involves simply remembering out loud together, as if creating a narrative from the memories, in a collaborative way. In this way, the experience lived in the present (being sharing a moment with a father, a mother or both) and the positive emotions that produced those experiences are linked. In addition, it is possible to know facets of what happened in those times that were unknown at the time, which allows to deepen the relationship.
4. Recognize their contributions to your life
In most cases, parents not only give us life; they also raise us and educate us to become adults. educate us to become functional adultswith the ability to achieve in a variety of ways. Therefore, it is good to make it clear that we are aware of this.
For example, if our career path was driven by university studies paid for in part by them, this fact can be highlighted in a situation where we are congratulated for a job goal achieved.
5. Do your part in conversations
It is very frequent that part of the family conflicts between parents and children has to do with the impatience of the younger ones when the parents are interested in their lives. As a result, some dialogues seem more like interrogations, as parents ask questions and children answer as briefly as possible.
This is just a sign that more effort needs to be more effort must be invested in establishing enriching dialoguesrather than simply enduring them as if they were torture. You can also ask them questions and, from there, make the words come out in a more spontaneous way.
6. Be patient
Parents also have a lot to learn have a lot to learn from their childrenThis is something we often don't count on. Assuming that they are adults, it is tempting to think that with little effort they can learn basic day-to-day things just as we have done, especially related to new technologies. But the truth is that the context in which our parents grew up bears little resemblance to our own, and at a certain point it's harder to catch up with the latest lifestyle trends.
So get in the mindset: they're going to ask a lot of questions about what certain neologisms mean, they're going to ask you for help with the phone or computer, and you may have to repeat them several times. None of this should exhaust your patience, because as frustrating as this may seem, it makes sense that they have a harder time getting into these worlds of the new.
(Updated at Apr 12 / 2024)