How does a narcissist react to rejection?

People with a tendency to narcissism can easily feel rejected and frustrated.

Everyone feels the need for attention at some point in their lives, for whatever reason, however there are pathological cases such as people with narcissistic personality disorder.

Although at first others may play along, there comes a time when their circle of friends and family begin to ignore them, something that does not sit well with them.

How a narcissist reacts to rejection is directly related to his or her idea of personal superiority, and we will see why. and next we will see why.

How does a narcissistic person react to rejection?

It is totally normal for any of us to want to be the center of attention at any given moment. Whether it's because we've made an important achievement, because we want to be loved, or simply because we want to stand out with a new style of dress, it's healthy to have the need to get some attention, to highlight something we've done. We want to show that we are different, that we have our strengths and we show it off.

However, there are there are some people who constantly need to be the center of attention.So much so that if someone they want to surprise doesn't pay attention to them they simply can't accept it. They also don't like the fact that there may be people better than them and, in fact, they find it hard to accept the idea that they may be inferior to others. They are people who have a psychological problem, narcissistic personality disorder, and do not accept at all to be rejected or minimally ignored.

But before we understand how a narcissist reacts to rejection, we must understand what exactly we mean by a person with this type of personality disorder.

What do narcissists look like?

According to the DSM-V, narcissistic people are characterized by having a dominant pattern of grandiosity, a continuous need to receive admiration, all combined with a great lack of empathy. This way of being is problematic and begins to emerge in early adulthood..

People with this personality disorder tend to act and behave in a rather characteristic, almost caricature-like manner. Believing themselves to be great and successful, many of them display themselves as true divas. Each one resorts to his own tricks to get attention, but all of them coincide in achieving the same goal, trying to capture the interest of other people.

They are loquacious, charming and seductive, but without the need for romantic intentionality. They have a very internalized idea of personal grandiosity, something they constantly try to demonstrate to others. They think they are better, considering their worth far above that of their friends and family and, combined with a great lack of empathy, they behave in an arrogant way and can humiliate those people who supposedly form their circle of loved ones.

They do not accept any criticism. Questioning the grandiosity of themselves that they have been nurturing throughout their adult life implies entering into a crisis, accepting that they are not so perfect.Accepting that they are not as perfect as they really think they are is simply not going to happen. If they are going to talk about someone else, it is not going to be to compliment them or highlight their strengths, but rather to belittle them.

Because of his concept of superiority, pathological narcissists often believe that being part of others' lives, or rather, that he allows others to be part of his, is a kind of privilege he has bestowed upon them. Anyone who has the "honor" of being in the narcissist's circle of friends should be grateful for it, and in fact in their mind they conceive of it as them being indebted, that they actually owe him something for such a concession.

As it is logical to think, although in the beginning they manage to attract certain people thanks to their seductive personality, with the passage of time the people who compose their circle are trying to move away from the narcissists, since they are difficult to bear. The fact that they do not accept criticism and above all believe themselves to be above others ends up alienating their close circle.tired of having to put up with a person who gets angry if he stops being the center of attention.

How do they react when they are rejected?

As we mentioned, people with narcissistic personality disorder have a behavior that ends up being unpleasant for the people around them. They behave both with their friends and with their partner in a very arrogant way, believing themselves to be better than them and also trying to manipulate them. Although they may do it totally unconsciously, it is clear that they do it to satisfy their desires and, in case someone escapes from their influence, it will make them behave in an emotionally disproportionate way.

The way they behave when rejected can be very varied. There are those who resort to aggressiveness, although emotional blackmail, victimhood and even try to exhibit depressive symptoms in order to awaken in those who have rejected them feelings of compassion and guilt. These behaviors are not at all adaptive or socially appropriate, but they still display them because they are often unaware of the harm they are doing. they are often unaware of the damage they may be causing..

What we can extract from all this is that they are people who feel very frustrated when they feel that others have abandoned them. Their way of seeing things is that they never make mistakes and that they do not deserve to be treated this way, that others are to blame and that they are the ones who do things wrong. This demonstrates their low level of empathy, their inability to accept criticism and behave in a way that we would consider properly mature and adult.

The way they handle rejection is directly related to their identity. Although they have formed an idea of superiority, that they really believe they are superior to others, it can be said that their identity is rather empty.

They do not have a real identity of their own, but rather a kind of façade with which they present themselves to others.They do not have a real self-identity, but rather a kind of façade with which they present themselves to others, a behavior in which they try to project a certain grandiosity that is ultimately sterile. It is for this reason that, if someone rejects them, the artificial image they have created with which they present themselves to others begins to falter.

What do they interpret as rejection?

We have talked about how a narcissist reacts to rejection, but what do they really see as rejection? Relating to this type of person can be somewhat dangerous as they are particularly susceptible to any display of inattention, no matter how banal, harmless and unconscious it may be. For example, refusing calls or text messages from these people, even if it is simply an oversight, can get us into trouble.

As we were saying, they have a very high idea of themselves and consider in many occasions that we relate to them a kind of privilege that they have given us. As they consider that we must always be at their disposal, the fact that we do not pay attention to them instantly can make them feel deeply hurt by showing it with anger and indignation.. They can be especially spiteful and disrespectful to those they feel have failed them.

For this reason, special care should be taken with these people. As we said, they do not necessarily do it on purpose, and we cannot label them as bad people since what makes them behave this way is a psychological problem that requires professional help. Therefore, to the extent that we can, we should try to to make it possible for you to go for a consultation.. This will be complicated, but if successful, it may greatly improve your quality of life and especially that of your circle of acquaintances.