How does psychotherapy help in a divorce?

These are the main "fronts" of work in psychotherapy applied to divorce cases.

Divorce is a concept that we usually relate to painful feelings and negative emotions, such as sadness, melancholy or even anger. While it is true that many times the experience is accompanied by these psychological elements, no one is predestined to see their quality of life damaged for weeks because of the end of a marriage: there are strategies for managing emotions that help a lot to overcome this kind of situation.

Psychological therapy is the context in which people can learn to internalize those emotional management skills when going through a separation or divorce, but unfortunately, not all people know that: there are those who assume that the work of psychologists is limited to the care of patients with mental disorders or to the care of couples in crisis. Nothing could be further from the truth; in this article we will see how psychotherapy works. how to work in psychotherapy not only to minimize the probabilities of ending in separation or divorce, but also to know how to adapt to divorce..

Preventing separation: working in couple's therapy

As its name suggests, couple therapy is the type of psychological assistance oriented to the attention of couples in crisis.Its main objective is to improve the relationship between both people, helping them to internalize more appropriate styles of interaction, coexistence and communication. That is why it helps to reduce the chances of ending in divorce or separation, through the following areas of work:

• Training in conflict management skills.
• Creation of a space in which to deal with sensitive or "taboo" subjects.
• Search for reconciliation in the face of past grievances.
• Detection of bad dynamics in the way of living together (for example, unequal distribution of responsibilities).
• Learning assertive ways of expressing emotions.

As we have seen, in couples therapy we work to improve as much as possible the way in which the people involved in the relationship communicate, live together and express their emotions and feelings.It is not entirely correct, however, to assume that the goal of couples therapy is to prevent the courtship or marriage from ending at all costs.

However, it is not entirely correct to assume that the objective of couples therapy is to avoid at all costs that the courtship or marriage comes to an end: it also helps to recognize cases in which the most beneficial solution for both is to end that kind of bond and move on to another outside the concept of "dating" or "marriage". It should not be forgotten that a relationship can exist beyond these labels, and separating or divorcing does not have to imply doing so in bad ways, harming or being harmed. Therefore, a psychology consultation can also make the breakup or divorce go as smoothly as possible.

How does it help to go to a psychologist in the face of a separation or divorce?

As we have seen, the work of psychologists in the face of a deteriorated relationship does not end in the field of couple therapy. Even in cases of separation or divorce, having professional psychological support makes a difference, having professional psychological support makes the difference in adjusting well to the new reality without remaining installed in the initial discomfort..

Although we may not be aware of it, the way in which we relate to our emotions, thoughts and environment greatly influences how we experience the end of a marriage or engagement, and with the necessary help we can improve our ability to adapt to the new reality.

With this in mind, let's look at the ways in which psychotherapy works in cases of divorce or separation.

1. Improvement of self-esteem

It is very common that the divorce is accompanied by a low self-esteem, given that people tend to interpret these kinds of situations from the point of view of failure and the inability to meet certain expectations..

Therefore, psychologists provide support so that the person does not remain focused on the beliefs they have about their own limitations, but is able to see their positive characteristics, their potential, and even what they have learned as a result of the divorce.

2. Search for new sources of incentive

Normally, divorce gives rise to a new lifestyle; even if the couple was previously separated, the fact that the breakup was not "official" at all had implications for one's expectations about the future, and that influences how one lives.

For this reason, one of the aspects of applied psychotherapy in divorce cases is the search for new incentives in a life of singlenessif one does not have a partner. This helps to get through the "mourning" of the end of the marriage.

3. Managing the memories associated with the marriage

It is important to be able to re-signify the memories associated with the marriage, so that they are not seen as a sign that one has been "wasting time".so that they are not seen as a sign that one has been "wasting time". This will allow us to evoke those memories with normality and to accept this past part of our life.

4. Acceptance of the end of the cycle

In psychotherapy we also work to accept the fact that the phase of life linked to that marriage has come to an end, and that therefore it does not make sense to evaluate one's own capacity to be happy with reference to the interests and values associated with that relationship..

Are you looking for professional psychological help?

If you are going through a divorce or you are in a deteriorated relationship that may lead to separation and you are looking for psychological assistance services, please contact me, please contact meWhether from individualized psychotherapy or couple therapy, we can work to manage the situation in the best possible way by adopting new ways of managing emotions and enhancing communication skills. I offer face-to-face sessions in Seville and online sessions by video call.