How not to flirt: 11 things you should never do to try to seduce

If you want to attract the person you like, get rid of bad habits.

How not to flirt? What are the most frequent mistakes when we try to seduce another person? Necessity, fear and lack of experience lead us to make mistakes that can make our dates or our first encounters with girls not entirely fruitful or even total failures.

These mistakes lead us to "flirt badly": we don't connect with the other person.

How not to flirt: 11 things you should not do when it comes to seduction

Keeping certain factors in mind and trying to avoid them will minimize our chances of failure. Limiting our mistakes and being aware that certain attitudes are not valid will increase our chances of success and, consequently, will help us to have positive experiences that will motivate us to continue learning.

Below are eleven mistakes that are usually synonymous with failure. synonymous with failure How not to flirt?

1. Wanting to impress

Being too intent on trying to impress the girl in front of us can be counterproductive. It is advisable that we relax and that we try to enjoy ourselves without the need to fall into the false spontaneity of doing or saying impressive things to make her feel attracted to us.

Unless the context is appropriate and certain behaviors are encouraged, we should act naturally and be calm and relaxed.. Only within this framework can we succeed in impressing without the constant need to prove anything to anyone.

2. Need to be admired

This point is closely linked to the first one. Wanting to impress is a problem, but if we are then pending on her reaction and her approval or her impression, we will be transmitting an image of needing to be admired. image of neediness and lack of confidence in what we do. In our head, we always have to keep in mind that the only person we have to impress is ourselves. We don't need anyone's approval and even less if it is excessive or demanded. We are not a small child showing a drawing to our mother.

Besides, she doesn't need to be interested in what we do or don't do. Let's do things because they really make us feel good and not to receive feedback. feedback positive feedback to show others that we are demi-gods. Let's not fall into egocentrism.

3. Being a joker and not knowing when to get serious.

One of the phrases that has done the most damage to social relationships and to seduction in particular, is "girls like to be made to laugh". Everyone likes to be made to laugh! Let's not become buffoons who try to make them laugh at all costs.

There are times when it's time to get serious and show that we are mature people who know how to behave in all kinds of contexts. A sense of humor should be reserved for the necessary moments. There is nothing less attractive than to cause embarrassment to others by an excess of "clowning around".

4. Be aware of being liked and look for indicators of interest.

Obsessively looking for gestures or attitudes that give away their interest in us will make us focus our perception excessively and forget other important details for communication such as active listening. Moreover, being obsessed with seeking immediate results will undermine our self-esteem and make us uncomfortable.

This will cause us to invest too much effort in adopting behaviors or attitudes in the expectation that they will be rewarded and will project us as insecure or in need of approval. It is more beneficial to forget about ourselves and focus on making them feel understood and comfortable with us..

5. Being aware of not wanting to make mistakes

We have to keep in mind that, many times, the art of communicating lies in forgetting oneself and focusing on the other person's qualities to be able to communicate them and qualify them properly. Judging ourselves constantly judging ourselves for what we do and how our actions will be received by the other person will hinder our communication and plunge us into a state of stress and anxiety that is counterproductive for the interaction to flow harmoniously.

There are no absolute truths or totally wrong actions. Making mistakes will humanize us and will make us be perceived as close and self-confident people who know how to relativize mistakes.

6. Hide your faults

Before taking for granted that any attribute of ours can be called a defectLet's think about whether it is or not. Many times we tend to think that we have defects that we don't really have or they can't always be considered defects, because the context plays a very important role in communication. If after having analyzed them we still think that they are defects, we should think about whether they are defects that can be remedied or whether they should be remedied.

It is true that certain disabilities or physical defects cannot be remedied or cannot be remedied at all. But there are many that can. For example, going on a diet is an effective way to combat that belly that makes us feel flabby. Another example: if we have a serious acne problem we can go to a specialist in order to put an end to those unwanted pimples that do not come out on our face. Whether or not our problem has a solution, we cannot allow it to affect our self-esteem. self-esteem and, therefore, to our communication.

Treating our flaws naturally and even joking about them will project us as confident people who are not afraid to show their weaknesses. Joking about our flaws is the key to overcoming shyness so that others do not detect unattractive insecurities in us.

7. Fear of being contrary

Changing your mind for fear of not being liked is a mistake we often make. To be accepted and not to feel socially rejected leads us to never want to disagree. Working on assertiveness will be very useful when communicating. Let us bear in mind that our opinions and attitudes are invaluable sources of information for our interlocutor. Always falling into the error of not wanting to offend or contradict and, therefore, adopting servile attitudes will make us lose our attractiveness and make us look like people without opinion or objectives: it is the abc of how not to flirt.

Our attitude must also be evualuative in relation to the other person; we must establish a framework in which two people value each other but do not judge each other.

8. Idealizing the other person

The romantic love is one of the great evils of the 21st century. We live intoxicated by movies and stories where we are shown a sweetened love and that makes us have learned social relationships and seduction contexts, as if we were living in Romeo and Juliet. We do not live in a romance novel. She has flaws just like everyone else.

If we believe that the person we have in front of us is perfect and has no flaws, we will fall into errors that we have already pointed out before such as wanting to hide our defects, the need for approval... Knowing how to observe and qualify the mistakes and virtues of others will be a very important key to avoid feeling that the girl in front of us is the goddess Venus made person.

9. Having unrealistic expectations

We have the social and communicative skills that we have. Being aware of this will help us not to fantasize exaggeratedly about what could happen. We have to be patient. As we get to know people and develop our skills, we will feel more capable of achieving what we want. we will feel more capable of achieving what we want to achieve.. 

It is a mistake to think that if a girl has smiled at us it is because she is tremendously in love with us and wants to make love to us on a crystal bed, by the sea while the moon illuminates our naked bodies. If on the other hand a girl smiles at us and we think that she did it because she was amused by us or because perhaps she is a little interested in us, it will be more beneficial for our self-esteem and we will avoid major failures that make us fall into frustration and a consequent demotivation.

10. Do not sexualize

We have been chatting for more than three hours, everything is going great, we like the girl, we feel that she likes us, but there is a moment when she gets bored and things do not move forward. Maybe it's time to give a little push to the interaction with some phrases that let us understand our sexual interest. sexual interest. 

There are times when we become obsessed that things have to arise spontaneously and we forget that things can arise spontaneously in us but that, if we do not verbalize or express them, they will remain in us without anyone having any idea that they have arisen. Let's communicate our interest properly and let's not be afraid to show our sexual interest. Sex is good!

11. Sexualizing too much

Excessive innuendo and not stopping to make comments that indicate our sexual interest can make the other person uncomfortable and we may be giving the message that we are only interested in one thing. We can fall into the error of seeming extremely needy or insecure people who are afraid that their interlocutor has not understood the message that we have launched and, therefore, we repeat it ad nauseam: this is one of the keys on how not to flirt.

Let's dose our sexual interest and let's show it gradually and adequately to be able to move forward without the other person feeling forced or annoyed by so many spicy comments that often end up being in bad taste. In this case, let's look at the context in which we are in order to adjust the intensity and the degree of insinuation.

By way of conclusion...

Let's not be obsessed with being liked. Let us know how to be in all contexts of life. Let us like ourselves more to please others. Let us be mature people who face life's obstacles in a mature and assertive way. Let us not become puppets at the mercy of a little handout in the form of sex. Let's be happy with who we are!