How to achieve your goals in 2020: 3 essential questions that no one asks you

Personal change must start from several questions to understand our starting point.

First of all: Happy New Year!

The new year is a special time to set goals and resolutions, but you know what happens with all this: they are usually not met (or almost never).

Setting resolutions or trying to achieve new goals in your life involves a process of change.. If not, why didn't you achieve it before? A process of change implies a psychological and emotional transformation beyond the desire we have to achieve those changes.

Having a purpose or wanting to achieve a personal development objective (in relation to your well-being, your sentimental or affective relationships, your work, your projects, self-knowledge, self-esteem, emotions, etc.) is the engine of change in your life, as it implies a journey from the way you live now to a life where you want and deserve to be. It is the starting point to live a profound change, an authentic transformation in your life.

The emotional January slope

Why don't we usually achieve our goals or New Year's resolutions? No matter how much we are excited about achieving changes, they do not come by themselves. We don't achieve them because we don't know how to set the right goals; we do it in a moment of illusion, but then the "emotional January slope" arrives. then comes the "emotional January slope". (we move away from the purpose because we believe it is too difficult, complex, or that things "will always be this way"), and above all, because we do not ask ourselves the right questions.

In the last 10 years, as a psychologist and coach, I have accompanied people from up to 8 different countries in their change processes, and I have observed that in all these cases there are 3 essential questions you should ask yourself to achieve changes in your life (and that almost nobody asks you) (and that almost nobody asks you). Now you will be able to answer those 3 questions.

The 3 essential questions (that nobody asks you)

For the last 10 or 15 years it has become very popular to set goals and purposes, but we do not set them correctly, realistically or deeply, nor do marketing experts really know how to formulate them in relation to your personal development, because, what is really a goal or purpose? It is just a focus that helps you change your life, a desire. A goal should not be something material, but a situation that implies that your life has changed..

You already know what are the usual questions to ask yourself for a purpose or goal: What do you want to achieve? (this is the goal or purpose), What are you going to do differently (a series of totally different actions in your life that will bring you closer to that purpose, and neither 10 nor 2 will do, but 3 or 4, more is too much and scattered and less is too little), How are you going to do it, where, when, with whom?

These questions can help you to achieve goals in relation to small achievements in health or work, but they do not imply a real transformation in your life. they do not imply an authentic transformation in your life and in many occasions, the fact that you do not live a personal change prevents you from achieving them. There are 3 essential questions that we do not ask ourselves, and they are these.

Why do I really want to achieve this goal or purpose?

This question helps you to know yourself better, to go deeper into yourself, and also to discover if your purpose is really yours or if it is influenced by your fears or by society.What is it that you really want to achieve? For what? To what extent would it transform your life? To what extent does that desire come from your fear or does it involve real change?

You currently have a point of view about yourself and your life, and from that point of view you state your purpose. However, a process of change implies that even your point of view changes, your values and your way of seeing life change.

To what extent does that purpose depend entirely on me?

Many of our biggest frustrations are related to objectives or purposes where others are included.. This is precisely one of the greatest learnings of our life: we cannot control others or the world, and they are not responsible for our well-being, our past or situation. You must focus on a purpose that is a change, and that change really depends on you to work on it.

What part of me has to change to achieve this goal or purpose?

Here comes the key. If you have so much desire or illusion with that purpose, why haven't you achieved it so far? Because something in you has to change (your emotional management, your confidence, your communication, your relationships, your decision making, etc.). Therefore, that purpose is exactly what must lead you to that personal change..

If you want me to help you discover your great purpose and be able to live your personal (or professional) change process, I make you a special proposal: I invite you to schedule a first free exploratory session at empoderamientohumano.com or on this page and take the step to get to know each other, discover what is the change you need and how I can accompany you. May this year be the definitive year of your change and transformation.