How to ask for favors: 5 practical tips

Several tips and recommendations on how to ask for favors with a higher success rate.

Throughout our lives we will need help from others on more than one occasion. Although it may be hard for us to recognize it, we are not perfect and we need other people to help us with a multitude of tasks.

On other occasions what may happen is that we simply have an unforeseen event and, as a result, we need someone to do us a last-minute favor.

Whatever the favor to ask, the way it is done is almost as important as how urgent it is. That is why here we are going to address the topic of how to ask for favorsWe will look at what factors can influence whether others are predisposed to help us.

How to learn to ask for favors?

Even the most self-sufficient people need help at some point, since we are imperfect and social animals. Taking advantage of this social component of human nature, on more than one occasion we need to ask for favors, although this is not always easy. Whether it is because we are embarrassed, ashamed or simply afraid of being rejected, the truth is that asking for something from another person is a somewhat complicated task.

Logically, each favor implies a different difficulty that also influences when it is asked.. It is not the same to ask them to please buy us a can of sardines at the supermarket as it is to ask them to cover our afternoon hours at the office. Favors can be easier or more difficult to satisfy depending on how many resources the person we are asking for the favor has to move, which is also the reason why it is more or less likely that he or she will satisfy us. Fortunately, there are a number of factors that can help us ensure that our requests are fulfilled.

1. In person

Whether for convenience or because we are too shy to do it in person, many people prefer to ask for favors in writing, either by email or instant messaging. Emails are seen as perfect for asking favors to work colleagues, while chats are used with people closer to us, such as family and friends.

Many people resort to text, thinking that this modality will save us from having to look into the eyes of the person we are asking for a favor. In addition, the text helps us to be more persuasive, allowing us to prepare our speech well, making the text extensively written, exposing each of the reasons why we need the favor to be done and the urgency of it.

In spite of all this, the truth is that presence is the best way to ask for favors. In fact, doing it in writing is a very bad option, as a study by Cornell University in the United StatesThis was demonstrated by research conducted by Cornell University in the United States. The study conducted by Roghanizad and Bohns (2017) concluded that looking into the eyes of the person to whom we ask the favor is 34 times more persuasive than doing it in writing. The best is face-to-face, or in other words, asking for favors face-to-face.

2. Go straight to the point

It is normal that, before asking someone for a favor, we greet them, chat cordially about the weather or a current topic and, once we have got into the mood, we proceed to the flattery, or in more colloquial terms, the "peloteo". This is fine as long as we don't go on too long.

As a general rule, when we are going to ask for a favor, the other person notices it.. The thought "He wants something, for sure" will always cross his mind. The best thing to do is to make the request as soon as possible, without being too abrupt, but also without beating around the bush or flattering too much. Generally, we are more likely to do favors for others if the person asking us gets straight to the point.

3. Take care of non-verbal language

Asking for favors face to face is so persuasive thanks to the help of nonverbal language. This type of language is very influential when it comes to convincing someone to help us, which is why we must take care of what we say.That is why we must take care of what expressions and movements we make in the presence of the person to whom we are going to make a request.

Some tips: clear look, relaxed movements, arms in open position and never crossed. These gestures, in addition to looking into the eyes and smiling, invite the other party to be generous and help us. In addition to this, it is appropriate to make the request in a quiet place where we will not be interrupted by third parties.

4. Choose the moment

It is very important to do the favor at the right time. Everyone has moments of the day when they are in the best mood and others when they are not so good, for example after work or just when they have received bad news. This influences a lot when it comes to doing a favor, and we are probably less successful if we ask the person to do us a favor. less successful if we ask the person to do it just when he/she is having a bad day..

For this reason we must be patient and choose the most appropriate time to make the request, even if what we need is in a hurry. As long as it is not something urgent what we have to ask can wait a few hours or days, since if we do it at the wrong time we have assured the resounding "no".

5. Explain the reasons

Although it is not advisable to explain too much the reason for our request, it is advisable to state a reason. it is highly advisable to state a reason, since not doing so will sound like an imposition or something purely selfish.. The other person must understand that we really need it, that we are asking for a favor because we cannot fend for ourselves but it is something important.

Here we return to scientific evidence by mentioning another experiment, in this case conducted by Harvard University. In their experiment, Langer and Chanowitz (1978) did a simple test. One of the researchers approached a colleague at the photocopier and asked him, please, to take his turn. Sometimes he did so without giving any explanation, while in other cases he did state his motive.

In 60% of the cases in which he asked for the favor without giving an explanation, he was successful, using only the presence factor, that is, asking for the favor face to face. On the other hand, the success rate rose to almost 90% when the researcher gave a reason for sneaking in.

The surprising thing was that the reason given was nothing too complex or a transcendental request, it was literally "Excuse me, can I sneak in? It's just that I have to make some photocopies." By simply giving a reason, however obvious and absurd, the researcher was able to sneak in 9 times out of 10.. This goes to show that whenever we ask for a favor we should always accompany it with a justification, even if it is minimal.