How to Avoid Premature Ejaculation: Tips and Techniques

A common problem among the male population. We discover different ways to solve it

Sensuality and sexuality are important parts of our being.. In addition to being a way of obtaining pleasure and physical gratification and being an essential part of the mechanism through which we propagate the species, these elements are deeply linked to the way we relate to each other, to the point of being in a large part of the cases an important point in couple relationships.

However, sometimes some people have some kind of difficulty in this area, such as erectile dysfunction, hypoactive sexual desire, aversion to sex, anorgasmia, vaginismus or premature ejaculation.

Premature ejaculation is one of the most frequent sexual problems in men, and it is often experienced with guilt and shame, and it can also cause difficulties in their relationships. How to avoid premature ejaculation? In this article we will discuss some of the techniques most commonly used in sex therapy to prevent premature ejaculation or delay the moment of climax.

Before we start: what do we call premature ejaculation?

We consider premature ejaculation or rapid ejaculation to be those situations in which the male ejaculates always or almost always either before penetration or around one to three minutes (the base criterion would be one minute) from the beginning of penetration, with ejaculation occurring earlier than desired without the subject being able to delay it and which can cause negative consequences for him or for his relationship with his partner.

While the definition itself and the concern of many of the men who suffer from it may focus on duration, it should also be noted that the difficulty lies in the absence of control, it should also be noted that the difficulty lies in the absence of control..

Among the difficulties that may arise are conflicts in the couple's relationship, loss of self-esteem, shame, guilt, worry or even avoidance of sex. It is common that there is resistance to recognize the problem due to fear of rejection and social scorn, although it is a condition that in many cases can be treated successfully.

It is one of the so-called sexual dysfunctions, understood as all those alterations of the sexual response cycle that does not allow participation in the relationship in the way the subject would like or that implies the appearance of pain in sexual relations and that implies discomfort at a subjective level for the individual or in the couple's relationship. Specifically, it is the second most frequent in men, only behind erectile dysfunction. In this case, we would be dealing with an orgasmic type of dysfunction..

It is necessary to take into account that for premature ejaculation to be considered as a dysfunction, it is necessary that this difficulty occurs continuously or in about three quarters of the relations maintained for at least six months, since otherwise it would be a one-off or sporadic sexual difficulty.

It should also be borne in mind that the problem may be generalized or restricted to a specific partner or situation, and that aspects such as basic self-esteem, anxiety, insecurity, the personality of the sufferer or his or her partner and the type of relationship they have, medical problems or even cultural and religious elements may be involved.

Main causes

Premature ejaculation can have multiple possible causes.They can be both Biological and psychological.

At the organic level, some of the causes may be the presence of injuries, diseases or a side effect of the consumption of some drugs or medicines. Also because of a possible neurological predisposition, which is the most common organic cause.

It is more common, however, to find that the causes of premature ejaculation are psychological, including lack of psychosexual skills, problems in the relationship or high impulsivity and anxiety.

Types

In addition to this and largely linked to the causes, it is possible to establish the existence of different types of premature ejaculation.

There are cases in which the person has had this difficulty all his life and since the first sexual intercourse, something that usually correlates more with a problem of organic origin. It is possible that there are alterations or lesions in the nerve pathways that control ejaculation or that there is some type of genetic inheritance. The criterion in this type of cases is that in order to be premature, ejaculation must occur within one minute. In these cases pharmacological treatment may be beneficial.

Another of the most common types is the acquired type throughout life, which can have mixed biological and psychological causes or directly psychological (in which case it is established in a reduction of the duration to about three minutes or less).

Another group is made up of men who have a latency within normality for a large part of the time with some occasional rapid ejaculation, or restricted to a specific partner or situation. In this case we would be in a problem of psychological origin.

Finally, there are also men who consider that they suffer premature ejaculation but nevertheless may have a typical ejaculatory capacity or even higher than usual. In this case the difficulty would be at the psychological level or at the level of the relationship with the partner. Generally it is considered that the average time of penetration before ejaculation is considered to be is seven minutes in men up to thirty years of age, decreasing with age.

Basic program for this and other sexual dysfunctions

We have already mentioned that rapid or premature ejaculation is considered one of the main sexual dysfunctions. The treatment of this and other disorders of the same group can vary greatly depending on each case and its characteristics.

However, different researchers have developed a basic sex therapy methodology that allows to work on the set of sexual dysfunctions at the same time that in different phases specific techniques are incorporated for the problem in question. Specifically, the basic program consists of the following phases.

1. Non-genital sensory focus

This first phase of the program is based on erotic massages, without stimulating the genitals at any time. Both partners will take turns, alternating between a more active role and a more passive/receptive role, at least three times and going over the whole body. The massage can be given with different parts of the body, and in different locations, including bed and shower..

The person receiving the massage and caresses can indicate whether he/she likes it or not, guide his/her partner and even lead his/her hand. But in this phase the partner's genital area can never be stimulated, nor will penetration or orgasm be sought. The goal is to learn to focus on bodily sensations, as well as to learn that the sexual encounter is not only the moment of orgasm. It also helps to restrain impulses.

2. Genital sensory focus

This second phase is probably the most complex one, and it It is in this phase that the specific techniques for the case of rapid or premature ejaculation will be introduced..

In the same way as in the previous phase, massages are performed, varying the person who gives and receives them, at least three times. In this case, however, contact with the genitals and the achievement of orgasm is allowed, but not penetration.

3. Vaginal restraint

The third phase of the basic program is a continuation of the previous one but in this case performing the caresses at the same time.. On this occasion penetration is allowed. However, containment (with specific techniques that will be explained later) should be performed at least three times before reaching orgasm, which should also be outside the body of the receiving part (either vagina, anus or mouth).

Positions in which the person receiving penetration is on top or laterally positioned should be used.

4. Vaginal containment in movement

The last phase of the basic program is an extension of the previous sequence, in which different postures and types of sexual practice will be tested.

Specific techniques to delay ejaculation

Throughout the previous sequence we have mentioned on several occasions the application of specific techniques according to the type of sexual problem that may exist. In the case of the so-called premature ejaculation, this type of techniques are based on the sufferer gradually acquiring a greater body awareness of his sensations at the same time that he of their sensations at the same time that they learn to maintain greater control over them.

In this sense, the following are two of the most common specific techniques, which can be trained both as a couple and in masturbation (it is possible to start with solo masturbation and then incorporate the couple), although they are generally designed to be practiced as a couple. The ideal is to perform them in masturbation until a certain control is achieved, and at that point begin to incorporate them in penetrative relations.

1. Stop and start technique

One of the most common and well-known specific techniques is the stop and start technique. This technique is based on stimulating the penis until the point or moment prior to ejaculation is reached, at which point stimulation of the penis should stop. A stop is made for about two minutes. After that, the same technique is repeated up to three times. On the last of these occasions, you can continue until ejaculation occurs.

This technique seeks to train the person to recognize the penile sensations and to begin to establish a certain control over them, something that over time can translate into an increase in the duration of penetration.This will eventually lead to an increase in the duration of penetration. It can be done during masturbation or during penetration, and is usually the most recommended in the phase of vaginal containment with movement.

Compression technique

The second most common and well-known specific technique is the compression technique, in which the aim is to reach, through stimulation, the point prior to ejaculation and then compress the glans with the fingers for fifteen to twenty seconds. This exercise should be repeated up to three times before finally ejaculating.

A variant is the technique of basilar compressionin which the part of the penis that is compressed is not the glans penis but the base of the shaft of the penis, around the point where it joins the testicles. It is usually more advisable in vaginal containment without movement, or in masturbation.

Other techniques to take into account

In addition to the above, people who suffer from rapid or premature ejaculation can benefit from other techniques, not so directly linked to sexual intercourse itself.

In the first place, relaxation techniques stand out, in those cases in which there is great anxiety. Sex education and psychoeducation may also be necessary to combat myths and beliefs that may be dysfunctional and hinder coping with the difficulty. Another element to take into account is couple therapy and the work on communication between its components.

Likewise, the application of drugs and elements such as anesthetic creams that reduce sensitivity can also be considered in some cases, although these should be prescribed by a professional and are not always recommended.

Bibliographic references:

• Althof, S.E., McMahon, C.G., Waldinger, M.D., Serefogba, E.C., Shindel, A.W., Adaikan, P.G., Becher, E., Dean, J., Giuliano, F., Hellstrom, W.J.G., Giraldi, A., Glina, S., Incrocci, L., Jannini, E., McCabe.

• M., Parish, S., Rowland, D., Segraves, R.T., Sharlip, I. & Torres, L.O. (2014). An Update of the International Society of Sexual Medicine’s Guidelines for the Diagnosis and Treatment of Premature Ejaculation (PE). Journal of Sexual Medicine, 11: 1392-1422.

• Leiblum, S.R. (ed.) (2006). Principles and Practice of Sex Therapy. New York. Guilford Press. (4th ed.).