How to be nicer: 8 practical tips

Several recommendations to get used to being nicer in personal relationships.

It is curious that something that is totally free costs us so much to show it. It is time to be kind! If we are not going to do it for others, let's at least do it for ourselves, since kind people have it easier in life.

Kindness opens doors. A kind person has more facilities than a person who is not, simply because he is more pleasant for his social circle and can have more opportunities and benefits from it.

Today we are going to see the keys to learn how to be nicer to others. with others.

How to be kinder in your personal relationships?

Relationships are a source of satisfaction and well-being, which is why we must maintain and pamper them. Our social support network, made up of friends, family and other important people, helps us to confess our emotions and opinions to them, releasing stress. Not having this social network is a problem because we keep our emotions bottled up, which can degenerate into a lot of emotional instability, aggravated by a feeling of loneliness and misunderstanding.

Kindness is a positive personal attitude both for us as individuals and for those around us.. It is that energy that keeps us connected to the rest of society, that protects us from loneliness and associated discomfort. Kindness is that which strengthens our interpersonal relationships, fundamental to our mental health considering that we spend most of our time interacting with other people.

We depend on others and that is why we must be kind. Everyone influences our lives in some way: parents, children, siblings, subordinates, bosses, the gas station attendant... Making others feel comfortable will bring us many benefits and advantages. People are more likely to do favors for those they like, those people they feel they respect. So let's take a look at some tips to see how to be nicer:

1. Call him/her by name

If you know what the person's name is, call them by name. Almost everyone prefers to be called by name rather than by some generic appellation. Name calling strengthens the relationship and personalizes the relationship, and it's a lot more polite than calling someone "girl," "hey, you," "pretty," "macho," "dude," and so on....

There can always be some exceptions, but as a general rule these phrases are usually quite demeaning and even objectifying.. If it's a person you see almost every day, the least you can do is learn her name after all this time. If it so happens that she has learned yours and you still don't know hers, you may look like a complete jerk.

It may happen that the other person has an unusual name or one that sounds "ethnic" to you. You may have used that excuse to not bother learning their name, even though the other person has repeated over and over again how to pronounce it, wasting valuable time, patience and mental health. I can assure you that having to repeat to someone day in and day out what my name is because they have not bothered to pay attention and memorize four phonemes does not invite me to waste my time with that person.

• You may be interested in, "What is kindness as a personality trait?"

2. Always use the magic words

Education is something that, in my humble opinion, is becoming extinct in this 21st century of ours.

Is it so hard to be polite to others? Our language has magic words and expressions that soften requests, turning imperative orders into polite requests. It costs nothing to start requests with phrases like "please", "would you be so kind...", "would you mind..." and so on. These are expressions of kindness, respect and consideration for others. It doesn't matter if it's a co-worker, your family or a waiter at the corner bar. Speak politely. Others will appreciate it.

3. Return the details

Some people in this world are more detail-oriented than others, and that's not a bad thing. Some of us don't come naturally to give small gifts to others, and that doesn't mean that we are inconsiderate or bad people, it just doesn't come from within us to be that way.

However, if someone has given us a small gesture in the form of a gift, paid for a coffee or watered our plants without asking for anything in return, it's okay to give it back. It is true that they have not done it for us to give it back to them, but socially it is bad form for us not to repay him in some way.. That's why it's so important to return the details, even if it's in a modest and minimal way. The next time you see her, pay for her coffee or give her a bag of candy. Be nice to those who are nice to you.

4. Smile, it opens doors

The look, the smile, the gestures... that is to say, the body language is a communication that, although silent, transmits many meanings. It is not the same to say something with a straight face than to say the same thing smiling. Depending on how we accompany them, our words can turn into the most offensive of insults or into genuine flattery.. Smiles open doors, as we see smiling people as more approachable, more open to conversation and more open to listening.

5. Listen actively

If someone is talking to us, it is best to let them finish before giving our opinion. This seemingly basic principle is rarely respected. It is difficult to consider a person as friendly if he does not stop interrupting us, does not let us say everything we have to say, and does not let us say everything we have to say..

Be patient, let him/her finish, don't anticipate what he/she is saying and don't even think of finishing the sentence. Interruptions generate insecurity and frustration in your interlocutor, emotions that will not invite him to have more conversations with you.

6. Don't be so distrustful

It may sound very innocent, but it is good to expect positive things from others. People who distrust others often have more trouble establishing quality relationships. The fear of being betrayed by others prevents them from being completely honest with them, they find it difficult to share and do not dare to maintain deep relationships.They find it difficult to share and do not dare to maintain deep relationships.

It is true that there are dishonest, lying and disloyal people in the world, but it is not the general rule. Protecting ourselves all the time from others will only bring us isolation and negativity. You have to open up to othersSo don't be so distrustful and expect good things. Most people do not harbor evil within themselves.

7. Ask how their day is going

One of the ways to show true kindness is to show interest in other people's lives. Everyone has their own story to tell, but sometimes they can't share it..

However, if someone asks, if someone shows interest in knowing what has happened to them and how they feel, the person feels that someone cares, that someone appreciates how their day went. That is why it is a very good idea to ask our acquaintances how their day went, they will surely thank us and we will make them feel better.

8. Joy for everyone

A sense of humor is a powerful magnet that attracts good relations.. While it is not synonymous with friendliness, it does help others see us as approachable people, people who are pleasant to spend time with. We should not confuse this with being the office joker or making fun of others, but with seeing the fun side of life. Being cheerful, fun and lighthearted is a very prosocial way to behave.

In contrast, serious-looking people appear difficult to approach, people who seem like they will be hard to get along with. You don't really know what mood they are in today and you don't really know how to address them. This makes it very difficult to interact with them, and the uncertainty and fear of how they may react causes us stress. We can become intimidated, and a person who intimidates, even if they are not a bad person and have not done anything wrong to us, does not seem friendly to us.