How to cope with an unwanted pregnancy: 5 psychological keys

Psychological tips and guidelines to deal emotionally with an unwanted pregnancy.

Many women see getting pregnant as a gift from heaven, especially if they have been trying to get pregnant for years. However, sometimes this event is accidental and lived in a highly stressful way, full of uncertainty and fears.

Dealing with an unwanted pregnancy is a delicate matter.The mental health of the potential mother must be taken into account, as well as the resources available to face it and whether she has support in the decision she has decided to take.

Whatever she decides, which in the end is what matters, below we address this delicate issue with some recommendations to help any woman who finds herself in this difficult situation.

How to deal with an unwanted pregnancy: 5 tips

It is usual that, when talking about unwanted pregnancies, immediately comes to mind the prototypical image of a teenager who has become pregnant or a woman who has been raped, has survived but now has a clearly unwanted child.

It is true that such cases do exist, but it must be said that unwanted pregnancies are more common than they seem, happening to couples who have been dating for many years, married couples or between two people who simply did not take the necessary precautions one day.

Emotionally managing an unwanted pregnancy is quite complex. When this event happens, both the pregnant woman and her partner (if she has one) are faced with a situation full of dilemmas, uncertainty and fears.. At any age and in any type of relationship an unwanted pregnancy can occur and, if this is your delicate case, you may want to read on. Either way, if your partner has threatened to leave you because of the choice you are going to make or has already done so, keep in mind that this person did not deserve to be in your life, regardless of whether you are pregnant or not.

No woman wants to be put in the tough situation of having to decide whether or not to go through with it. Although in most developed countries termination of pregnancy is legal, as long as certain requirements are met and not too many weeks have passed since fertilization, from an emotional, moral, psychological and relational point of view it is a before and after.

The decision to continue with the pregnancy or to terminate it is a very personal experience and there is not a valid answer for everyone. In fact, the same answer may not be valid at different times in a person's life, since the economic situation, the people who support him/her and the knowledge he/she has about parenting vary throughout life.

In any case, the following we will see a series of tips and recommendations so that anyone who finds themselves in this situation has a small guide or guidelines from which to orient themselves.

1. Identify emotions and attitudes about pregnancy.

First of all, we must understand the difference between unwanted pregnancy and unplanned pregnancy. The former can be understood as not contemplating the possibility of having a child at all, while the latter is not that the idea of having offspring is rejected, but it is not considered to be the most ideal time to have a child.

Having understood this, the pregnant woman should ask herself whether the problem really lies in the fact that she does not want to have children at all, or whether she does want to have them, but does not consider that the time has come yet. We should try to identify the feelings associated with the unwanted pregnancy and to do this we can ask ourselves a few useful questions that can also be asked by the father:

• Do I feel angry or angry about the pregnancy?
• Do I feel fear? Do I feel guilt?
• Is my rejection total or partial?
• How does my partner's attitude influence my feelings about the pregnancy?
• What reasons do I have for not wanting this pregnancy?

2. To tell it to the partner

Many consider that the most appropriate thing to do in this situation is for the woman to tell her partner, since this person has the right to know. It must be said that this recommendation is somewhat debatable, since it will depend on many factors such as, for example, the sentimental situation between the two of you.

However, if the couple is based on trust, respect and fidelity, if the couple is based on trust, respect and fidelity, the best thing to do is to tell your partner about itThe worst thing that can happen is that you experience what is happening to you in solitude, even though it is the responsibility of both of you.

In case you do not have your partner to tell, or you do not consider that he/she is a person who will support you or try to manipulate you to take one decision or another, consider talking about it with another person you trust.

3. Your opinion is what matters

Unplanned pregnancies are a topic that raises many points of view, especially the question of whether or not to continue it. There are multiple visions that our religion, friends, family and partner may have, often at odds with each other. However, the most important opinion is not yours, but that of the pregnant woman herself, the most important opinion is not theirs, but that of the pregnant woman herself.. It is your opinion that matters.

The only thing that matters is what you think and feel. Obviously, it is important to take into account what your partner thinks and feels, since this is a decision that involves both of you, but you are the one who has the final say. It's your body, your life and your decision.. Only you are the one who knows what is best for you because you are the person who knows you best.

If you are afraid of the opinions that may be in your close circle, keep in mind that you can't please everyone. In fact, that is impossible not only in this matter but in any other, so do what is best for you.

4. Identify the pressures and isolate your decision from their opinion.

As we have commented in the previous point, several people in our circle of relatives may have a different opinion regarding unwanted pregnancies. Each of their positions can become an important form of pressure that can lead us to make the wrong decision, which we will regret for the rest of our lives.which we will regret for the rest of our lives.

Therefore, the best we can do is to understand that the answer to how to deal with an unwanted pregnancy can only come from the people who are directly involved, which are the pregnant woman and her sexual partner. It is the parents who should take control of the situation and try to assess all the factors independently of what others think, since after all, they are the ones who will have to live with what they have decided.

5. Get information and talk to a specialist

Finally, it is very important to be properly informed in the face of an unwanted pregnancy, documenting the next steps to take and doing so through reliable sources. It is highly advisable, especially in case you decide not to continue with the pregnancy, consult with a specialist, discuss the specific case with him/her and ask about the methods available to interrupt the process..

Going to a specialist is a very useful option especially when there is disorientation and confusion regarding the legislation of the country in which we are regarding the issue of termination of pregnancy. It is not at all advisable to consult a friend or the Internet on these matters, unless we know that they have reliable and truly useful knowledge on this issue.

There are cases of mothers and fathers who supposedly want to go ahead but in reality want to terminate the pregnancy by sabotaging the pregnancy and not applying the necessary care.. This alternative can have very dangerous consequences and, therefore, it is preferable to abort the pregnancy directly, no matter how hard it may be for us.

If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, we recommend that you do some research on the care required for a safe pregnancy. It is advisable to be informed about the physical and psychological changes that parenthood brings with it and about the development of the fetus and the baby in the first stages of its life.

Psychological therapy and unwanted pregnancies.

As we said, facing a pregnancy of this type is a complicated task and, whatever decision is made, it is important to learn to manage the emotions associated with the process. This is especially important in the case of continuing with the pregnancy with both the mother's and the baby's health in mind.

Making the decision not to continue with the pregnancy, even if it was not really desired, usually leaves a deep imprint on the mental health of women that requires some type of psychotherapeutic intervention. Through psychotherapy, the woman will be able to overcome this critical period of her life without the development of psychopathology, fear of becoming a mother in the future or suffering from any other mental condition that could jeopardize her psychological well-being.The woman will be able to overcome this critical period of her life without developing psychopathology, fear of becoming a mother in the future or suffering any other type of mental condition that could jeopardize her psychological wellbeing.

If the decision is made to continue with the pregnancy even if there has not been adequate prior planning, it is important that the woman also attends psychotherapy both before and after the birth. Thanks to therapy, the mother-to-be will go through a process in which she accepts her new reality, getting excited about what is to come and awakening her inner maternal instinct.

And, above all, it is essential that throughout the pregnancy, the woman is as stable as possible.not only physically but also psychologically, since this will have an impact on the health of the baby and its development. The better the mother-to-be is cared for, the less likely she is to develop postpartum depression.