How to get rid of the negative labels that others put on us.
Labels that are prejudices and that can affect us psychologically.
We live in the society of brandingall the objects that surround us carry a label where its brand, its components, its owners, its geographical origin or its method of use, among many other things, are specified.
These labels have an obvious usefulness, since they they give us a fairly approximate idea of what we have in front of us at a glance, with a single glance.at a glance. For example, in the case of a retail product, in a single glance we will get the idea (more or less approximate to reality) of whether it is of higher or lower quality, before even knowing its properties in depth.
Labels on people: between prejudice and ignorance
The fact is that we, as subjects, have been carrying "labels" on our backs since long before objects were labeled. Labels that are given to us by the people around us and with whom we live, and even labels that we give ourselves for some reason.and even labels that we put on ourselves for some reason.
These labels can define us at any given time and in certain circumstances (or not) but people, unlike objects, have a great capacity for change in the way we relate to other people and to ourselves. Plasticity and resilience are the elements that give us the power to change.
Can you fight against a label?
The advantages of these categories are obvious: they save effort.
However, in certain circumstances it can be really difficult to get rid of a negative label (or even a positive one if we consider (or even a positive one if we consider that it can affect us negatively in some way).
The story of María "La Patosa".
To explain what a label is and how it can come to confront us, I propose the following story:
Maria was a twelve-year-old girl who lived with her family. She had a twin brother who was very agile in competitive sports, and she, on the other hand, did not Excel in that skill, although she was not bad at it either. Her brother, when they played together, called her "Maria the clumsy". Every time they went to play soccer in the town square, her parents would tell her brother "take care of Maria and don't run too much, you know she's not as agile as you are".
Later, when it was her turn to go to school, the girl did not want to participate in sports, and justified herself to her friends "I'm just clumsy". Maria grew up and with her came the label. Her friends joked: "don't let Maria do that, she is clumsy and will fall down". And so time went by.
When she arrived at high school, Maria was already La Patosa, when it came to doing things that required physical agility, she would get very nervous and then, obviously, her nerves would play tricks on her, reaffirming her condition of being clumsy. But Maria was not clumsy, Maria wore the label of clumsy.
Does this story of María "La Patosa" ring a bell?
Labels tend to appear in groups, sometimes without importance, sometimes with some utility in certain circumstances. There are many labels that are like a post-it and are temporary, but there are also tattoo: lthose that become chronic and leave a mark on our personality..
The Pygmalion Effect and expectations
There are several areas of psychology that investigate the important role that labels play in the way we relate to each other. It is known, for example, that an essential part of our daily behaviors depends on our expectations. that we have not only about concrete situations (a master class, a play, etc.) but also about the people involved in these situations.
Thus, for example, it has come to describe something called the Pygmalion Effect: something as abstract and immaterial as expectations about oneself and other people has a material embodiment in the way we act, even taking our capabilities beyond the limits we thought we had.
That is why it is is worth taking the time to reflect on whether the labels we use to describe ourselves help us to understand ourselves better or whether the labels we use to describe ourselves help us understand ourselves better or, on the contrary, limit us unnecessarily.
Putting an end to negative labels
Eliminating these limiting labels basically consists of recognizing them as such and acting accordingly.
The first step is to ask ourselves a series of questions about our own self-image.. You can start by first answering these questions:
- What labels do I wear?
- What adjectives have accompanied me throughout my life?
- Who gave them to me and why?
- Which ones have helped me?
- Which ones have harmed me?
- Which ones have been useful and are no longer useful?
From these questions, it is advisable to move on to others that are more specific to specific cases in order to arrive at the most exhaustive analysis possible. However, this should not take too much time, so as to commit to trying to reach clear conclusions that will allow further progress to be made from that point.
From there, it is good to examine our habitual behaviors and reflect on whether we are being consistent with the renewed self-image that we saw after the the renewed self-image we saw after the examination period. This may take some time, but all big changes are worth it.
(Updated at Apr 12 / 2024)