How to help a child who feels rejected? 7 useful tips

Tips on how to help a child experiencing rejection at school, with friends, etc.

Unfortunately, many children today feel rejected at school, with their friends, etc.. They feel this way when they perceive that they are different, either physically, verbally, behaviorally, emotionally or intellectually, from their peers, friends, classmates or sometimes family members.

All those children who are to some extent "different" or stand out in some aspect with respect to the rest of their peers or friends are the ones who tend to suffer from being pushed aside or being made to feel left out. Such as, for example, the typical "chubby", the "nerd", the "nerd", the "nerd", the "nerd".... All of them are the most likely to be rejected. But it is not a prerequisite either; many children are rejected without having any of the characteristics mentioned above.

In this sense, the important question is.... What should parents or relatives do when they begin to sense this situation or if the child tells them directly? How or in what way can we help a child who feels rejected? Let's look at some practical advice.

How to help children who feel rejected.

From our professional experience, in Psicólogos Málaga PsicoAbreu we recommend these guidelines on how to help your child:

1. Reinforce communication

The first thing to do is talk to the child, listen to him/her and understand how he/she feels.. It is important not to treat him/her as a victim or give the impression that it is a situation that cannot be fixed. For example, if they have not been invited to an outing or a party, it is essential to tell them that it would have been fun to go, but that there will surely be more parties or outings. It is important that he/she understands, understands and expresses what he/she feels in case it happens again on another occasion.

2. Encourage him/her not to go after anyone

On the other hand, it is important to explain to children (always adapting to their age) that if there is a classmate, friend or group that has left them aside, they should not try to be friends with them. Do not force the situation, if that group of children does not accept him, there will surely be others who have the same tastes and are more comfortable with them. and are more comfortable with them.

3. Help the child to understand the rejection

It is also important to know the reason for the rejection. Sometimes there are children who have a negative or aggressive behavior, and that is why they move away from it. For example, if the child gets angry when losing a game, if the child does not do what he/she wants, if he/she answers badly, etc. Therefore, it is important to find out and that the child realizes what is happening, to give him/her the necessary skills to solve it.

4. Work on and improve social skills

Sometimes children feel rejected because they do not know how to relate to other classmates, or they do not understand the language well.They do not understand non-verbal language well. They feel embarrassed when starting a conversation, or simply do not know how.

Therefore, it is important to teach them some basic notions of how to relate to others, or how to respond to complicated situations (conflict resolution), to work and explain empathy, assertiveness, self-control, etc.

5. Reinforce self-esteem

Another aspect that would be essential to improve is to reinforce self-esteem; when a child feels this rejection, his self-esteem automatically decreases. They begin to feel inferior and to compare themselves with others.. That is why it is important for the child to feel that he/she is worth, to take away the importance of the rejection and make him/her see that he/she is not alone, that he/she has family members and that he/she can make other friends.

It is important that he understands that being rejected is not something that arises in him, but simply happens because others are not like the child; perhaps they have other tastes different from his and probably what you have to do is try to find other children who like the same as him.

6. Ask for help at school

If necessary, talk to the teacher. Sometimes we do not know what happens in the classroom, our children can tell us their version, but we do not know the reality of the situation..

If after carrying out the above advice we still have the suspicion that the child continues to have problems of rejection, it would be advisable to talk to his tutor and tell us what is really happening, so that he himself can help us at school level, or even to talk to other parents, if appropriate, to find a solution to the problem.

7. Seek professional help in psychotherapy

And, finally, another resource that would be of great help if we see that our son is having a bad time would be to ask for help to a professional to give him/her the necessary tools and provide him/her with skills in case he/she finds him/herself in a similar situation again..

There are many children who suffer rejection, and if this is prolonged, it can turn into bullying. Therefore, it is important to detect it and solve the problem.

Many times parents do not have the necessary tools or do not know how to help the child, because they are not objective with their children. Therefore, it is essential that they apply the above tips, and also ask for help both for the child and for themselves. In the case of the child to provide him/her with communication and resolution skills; and in the case of the parents to receive more specific guidelines on how to help the child.