How to improve social skills with a psychologist?

These are the pillars of psychological intervention to strengthen social skills.

Our social skills are a determining factor both in the pursuit of happiness and in our chances of enjoying a good lifestyle. That is why having problems in this aspect can generate a lot of discomfort.

Fortunately, social skills can be enhanced through psychological intervention.. Let's see how it is done.

How to improve social skills in the psychologist's office?

Beyond the attention to possible psychopathologies associated with problems in relating to others (e.g., Autism Spectrum Disorders, borderline personality disorder, etc.), the main pillars of the improvement of social skills in the psychologist's office are the following.

1. Detection of trap-thoughts

Many people who experience problems with their social skills see moments of interaction with others as a source of discomfort or anxiety, especially if they do not know their interlocutor. This is why, the prospect of exchanging a few words, they may become frightened and try to avoid the and try to prevent a conversation from taking place.

As a result, they continue to remain in a state of inexperience in talking to others, and also feed the idea that they should avoid exposure to social interaction because these are a source of fear that can only be withdrawn from.

In psychotherapy we work so that those who usually go through this kind of experiences are able to quickly identify those trap-thoughts that tempt with the idea of throwing in the towel prematurely and lead to self-sabotage. In this way, the influence of these thoughts is very limited and the person is able to step out of his or her comfort zone.

2. Anxiety management

The anxiety that sometimes arises before and during the first minutes of a conversation (or any other complex communicative exchange) must be properly managed and channeled.. In therapy, a training plan for emotional management adapted to each case is proposed, which in cases like these is usually focused on the control of physiological processes associated with anxiety and the conscious management of the attentional focus.

3. Assertiveness practice

Assertiveness is the ability to communicate everything necessary or important and to do so honestly despite knowing that certain information or opinions may be painful, always with respect and taking into account the emotions of others. This is essential in order not to generate communication blockades that may cause greater problems than the discomfort that could have been caused by saying those things.

4. Dealing with intrusive thoughts

Unpleasant experiences related to social relationships accumulated by those who do not interact well with others can lead them to tend towards isolation, generate blockages in conversations due to nervousness, etc.

This is also because painful memories about past conversations can become intrusive thoughts, which come back to the consciousnessThey come back to consciousness over and over again and generate emotions such as guilt, shame, etc.

5. Desensitization to rejection

This aspect is closely related to the previous one, and implies to stop being extremely fearful of the possibility of being rejected by others.. This allows, on the one hand, to become more involved in social interactions, and on the other hand, to know exactly which of our actions are not liked, who does not like them, and why, which allows us to learn.

6. Adaptation to the rhythms and attitudes of others.

Non-verbal communication is keyIn order to take advantage of it, we must pay attention to this kind of signals and adapt to the psychological state of the person in front of us.

7. Empowerment of self-motivation skills

All forms of social skills learning should be followed consistently over a period of time so that over a period of time so that we internalize them and apply them on a daily basis. This is why we also work on enhancing self-motivation to follow the program.

Are you looking for psychotherapy services to relate better with others?

If you notice that on a daily basis you find it difficult to relate to others, either because you feel bad during those interactions or because the results you get are not satisfactory, we invite you to contact our team of professionals. At Avance Psychologists We have been helping all kinds of people for more than two decades and accumulating experience in the field of psychotherapy applied to cases of poor management of emotions, lack of social or communication skills, etc. We offer both face-to-face sessions in our center located in Madrid, as well as online via video call.

Bibliographical references:

• Beck, J.S. (2011). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond. New York: The Guilford Press.
• Caballo, V. (1983). Manual de entrenamiento y evaluación de las habilidades sociales. Madrid: Siglo XXI.
• Raymond, G.; Romanczyk, S.W.; Gillis, J.M. (2005): Social Skills Versus Skilled Social Behavior: A Problematic Distinction in Autism Spectrum Disorders. Journal of Early and Intensive Behavior Intervention 2(3), pp. 177 - 194.
• Stein, MD, Murray B.; Gorman, MD, Jack M. (2001). Unmasking social anxiety disorder. Journal of Psychiatry & Neuroscience. 3. 26 (3): 185 - 189.