How to know if you have gone from normal grief to pathological grief

Help on how to distinguish between normal grief and pathological grief.

The loss of a loved one has a psychological impact that is almost always accompanied by emotional pain. Even if in the first few minutes after hearing the news of the death one does not react by expressing feelings in a very intense way, this will happen sooner or later in the following hours or days.

All this is natural: feeling extremely sad about the death of a parent, sister or daughter is to be expected and does not indicate the presence of a psychological disorder. However, this discomfort can develop to such an extent that it becomes a real problem.

This is precisely what we will talk about in the following paragraphs: how to know when the how to know when one passes from normal grief to pathological grief..

What is grief in psychology?

In the field of psychology, grief is a phenomenon characterized by a series of sensations and behaviors linked to psychological discomfort that appear after or shortly after being aware of the loss of something with which we experienced a strong emotional connection. after being aware of the loss of something with which we experienced a strong emotional connection, affection or even love. affective or even loving connection.

This means that although grief typically occurs upon learning that a friend or family member has died, it can also arise in the face of a wide variety of situations: suffering an amputation, moving and losing daily contact with friends, feeling that we are aging rapidly, parting with a car we have had since our youth, etc.

After a while, people get used to living in a get used to living in a world in which the one or ones they miss no longer exist except as memories.They turn the page and learn to have the capacity to feel joy and, in general, to be happy. Thus, normal mourning (the one that occurs in the vast majority of cases and leads to a phase of recovery and disappearance of symptoms) can be expressed through these typical symptoms:

Crying crisis

It is very common to experience moments in which one cannot stop crying for several minutes.

Homesickness

The person's thoughts are focused on past experiences with that person or object that has been lost and which is that has been lost and is missed. Often the memories are mixed with imagination.

Low mood

In general, there is little motivation to get involved in tasks, even though some people try to do so.Although some people try to focus on an activity to avoid thinking about what makes them sad.

Irregular sleep pattern

People who are going through normal bereavement often have problems sleeping on a regular schedule, either because they take a long time to fall asleep or because they fall asleep quickly due to exhaustion but wake up too early or several times during the night.

The transition from normal grief to pathological grief: how to recognize it

Now that we know in general terms what bereavement is, let us look at a number of key ideas for recognizing those moments when normal bereavement becomes pathological bereavement. Keep in mind that these are only indicative guidelinesand the true diagnosis can only be made by mental health professionals in psychology and psychiatry.

In any case, it should be pointed out that although we refer to this phenomenon as "pathological crying", this does not mean that it is a fact that occurs in an isolated manner in the person, as could occur with the bleeding of a real wound, nor that the person suffering this emotional alteration is a "crazy" person, much less a person who will remain this way all his or her life.

1. Crying crises are uncontrollable and do not go away.

When after about two weeks the crying spells occur almost every day and are totally uncontrollable, so that they occur involuntarily and unexpectedly, even in a even at a company meeting or when picking up the children from school, we may be dealing with pathological grief that requires professional attention.

2. Repeated sleeping problems

If after two weeks there are problems sleeping every night, this may be harming us physically and psychologically and therefore may be a sign that the grief is following an excessively intense and damaging course.

3. Suicidal ideation appears

Suicidal ideation is always a warning sign that reveals the presence of possible psychological complications capable of evolving into a mental disorder. Of course, this depends on the emotional this depends on the emotional charge of these thoughtsIt is not the same to think about suicide as an abstract concept as to imagine oneself committing suicide, to fantasize about the different alternatives in which one can take one's own life, and even to search the Internet for ways to do it so that death is quick and painless.

4. Social relationships begin to be damaged

Everyone understands that in a phase of bereavement it is normal to seek a certain degree of solitude (although in some cases the opposite is sought). However, if this isolation lasts several weeks and the attitude towards others is one of indifference or indifference, if this isolation lasts for several weeks and the attitude towards others is one of indifference or hostility, this is one of the symptoms of pathological grief.If, however, this isolation lasts for several weeks and the attitude towards others is one of indifference or hostility, this is one of the symptoms of pathological grief.

What to do?

The main recommendation to follow in case you suspect that you are experiencing pathological grief is to that you go to a psychologist. In fact, this is something that can also be done in the case of normal grief, taking into account that the benefits of psychotherapy are felt whether or not there is an emotional disturbance that can be considered a disorder.

But the importance of receiving professional help becomes more evident when grief intensely damages our quality of life and threatens to become a chronic discomfort. In these cases, to quickly tackle this phenomenon helps to avoid going through very painful experiences and that our state of sadness and longing affects other areas of our life for months. and that our state of sadness and longing affects other areas of our life for months.

At the Instituto de Psicologia Psicode it is common to treat people who are going through a very intense grief, and therefore we know that without the right tools it is perfectly possible to go from believing oneself condemned to unhappiness, at first, to accepting the loss and moving forward with a constructive mentality, after going through therapy.

Bibliographical references:

• Worden, W.J. (2004). The treatment of grief: psychological counseling and therapy. Barcelona: Paidós.