How to manage anger? 8 practical tips

How to manage anger on a daily basis, preventing it from becoming a problem?

Of all the sensations that make up the broad human emotional spectrum, anger is perhaps the most feared emotion.

Many associate it with violence, both physical and verbal, as well as high physiological tension that can lead to heart and muscle problems and the occasional broken tooth.

Although in adequate doses anger is something adaptive, it is true that, if it is not controlled, it can cause many problems. That is why many people, especially the most irascible, wonder.... how to manage anger? In this article we will see some answers.

Anger: what is it for?

Like all other emotions, anger has an adaptive function. It is an emotion that prepares us to fight and defend ourselves, making us face injustices and predisposes us to defend ourselves. Each episode of anger can be experienced with different intensity, depending on the person's own personality and what has caused the onset of this feeling.

Culturally, in the Western world, feelings related to anger and sadness have been seen as something negative, despite their clear evolutionary benefit. From sectors such as school, work or family, the culture of 'shut up and put up with it' has been promoted. Keeping your feelings to yourself is never a good thing, especially if they eat away at you from the inside..

However, sometimes, anger can be expressed in an abrupt and very destructive way, worsening the situation that originated it and making the person who manifests it receive the very bad consequences of an excessive anger.

How to manage anger?

Although adaptive, anger is an emotion that, if not properly managed, can have serious repercussions both for the person who manifests it and for those around him or her. When it accumulates in excess, rationality and self-control can be completely lost, and one may say something unpleasant or even attack someone else.When it accumulates in excess, it can lead to a complete loss of rationality and self-control, and one can say something unpleasant or even attack people. That is why it is important to learn how to manage it properly:

1. Accept the emotion

When you feel anger, 'fighting' with it is not the solution, since it contributes to feel more frustrated and gives more strength to this emotion.

Accepting that you are feeling anger is the first step in learning how to manage it. It is very important to understand that, as long as you are not suffering from a serious disorder, everyone is responsible for their own emotions, everyone is responsible for his or her own emotions..

Identify to whom or what it is directed.

Sometimes we get angry at ourselves for having done something wrong, sometimes at others for something they have said to us, and sometimes at an object.

Whoever this feeling is directed at, it is very important to know how to identify it, it is very important to know how to identifyIt is very important to understand why we are in this situation and how it is related to the fact that we are angry.

It is useful to ask yourself questions such as: "Who am I angry with? has he/she really done something wrong? is it worth getting upset about this? can I do something to change it? what are the consequences of showing my anger?

3. Talk about it

Anger can block us, make us unable to do things, it paralyzes us.

As far as possible, we can try to verbalize what we feel, especially towards the person with whom we are angry. You should try to express the emotion assertively.

Other times this is simply impossible because we are unable to articulate a single word. It is in these situations that it becomes very useful to write a letter where we detail how we feel and what we think of the person who has angered us.

You can say anything, even use swear words, since after having written everything we feel and once we have calmed down, it is as simple as taking the letter and 'break' with that anger.

But you have to be careful, since too much thinking about the subject that has caused all this anger can have the opposite effect to the advice given here. of the advice given here.

4. Anger as a creative engine

Many people are only able to see the destructive side of anger, but what if we transform it into just the opposite?

Whether with markers, pencils, crayons or tempera and brushes, all of them allow us to express our feelings in an artistic way, and, who knows, we may even discover a new hobby.

Although feelings such as anger, anger and rage are usually represented with warm colors, such as red, everyone can give it a different color. Choose the color that you think best suits the rage and plot it on paper or canvas..

When you are done, ask yourself how you feel, are you still angry, have you calmed down a bit, are you better?

5. Physical exercise

Anger is an emotion that makes us feel tense, as if we were a pressure cooker about to explode.

A good way to channel and release these energies is through sports, especially boxing, wrestling, taekwondo or other contact sports. Other options, also good, are power lifting and aerobic sports, such as cycling and running..

After a good session of moderate to high intensity exercise, we will feel relaxed and calm, without feeling like starting a fight with anyone, simply because we no longer have the physical strength to do so.

6. Yoga and mindfulness

Meditation, especially the techniques that have been more scientifically studied as Mindfulness, has been shown to be effective in calming the mind..

It is difficult to enter into a state of deep reflection and calm when you are in the midst of a rage; however, if you make an effort every day and make meditation a habit, it can bring about many improvements across the board.

A person who engages in this type of activity frequently is much calmer and in a state similar to that after high-intensity exercise.

Yoga is also useful and, in fact, stretching the muscles and getting into postures that work on flexibility fulfills a similar function to that of weightlifting with respect to mood.

7. Hugs

Giving and receiving hugs can be seen as someone who wants to stop a bullet by putting a flower in the barrel of the gun. However, someone hugging us can be like a kind of 'emotional lightning rod'..

It is as if our 'electricity' is transmitted through the arms of the person who hugs us and brought to the ground to fade away as when lightning strikes the ground. It only takes a few seconds to calm down a huge rage.

8. Think before you speak

It is something that seems obvious, but how many people, being angry, have not said or done something they should not and then regretted it?

Thinking things through before doing and saying them can help prevent things from going any further, especially if our potential victim is going to be a loved one or cherished object.

Taking a deep breath while reflecting on what you are going to say and do can go a long way toward calming down in the first place and, in the second place, calming down in the second place. to, firstly, calm down and, secondly, avoid committing something that we will later feel terrible about.

Bibliographical references:

• Lee, R., Arfanakis, K., Evia, A. M., Fanning, J., Keedy, S., Coccaro, E. F. (2016) White Matter Integrity Reductions in Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Neuropsychopharmacology. DOI: 10.1038/npp.2016.74.
• Coccaro, E. F., Fitzgerald, D. A., Lee, R., McCloskey, M., Luan-Phan, M. (2016). Frontolimbic Morphometric Abnormalities in Intermittent Explosive Disorder and Aggression. Biological Psychiatry: Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuroimaging; 1 (1): 32 DOI: 10.1016/j.bpsc.2015.09.006.
• Mostofsky, E., Penner, E. A., Mittleman, M. A. (2014). Outbursts of anger as a trigger of acute Cardiovascular events: a systematic review and meta-analysis. European Heart Journal; DOI: 10.1093/eurheartj/ehu033