How to strengthen my self-esteem? 5 Practical Tips

Strategies to learn how to strengthen your own self-esteem through your habits.

We often talk about people who have too low self-esteem and suffer because of it.

However, this idea can lead us to overlook the fact that self-esteem is something dynamic, a psychological phenomenon that we can learn to readjust in order to be happier. Having low self-esteem" is not part of the essence of people, it is something that is circumstantial.

Of course, this fact is exploited in the field of psychotherapy, where psychology professionals help people to achieve this readjustment; but beyond the consultation, people can also learn some basic notions to increase their level of self-esteem. In this article we will explore that second option: strengthening one's self-esteem by adopting new habits and routines.

• Related article, "Do you really know what self-esteem is?"

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the way in which we perceive and value ourselves as people.. It is that predisposition to see ourselves in one way or another through concepts such as "good" and "bad", "perfection" and "imperfection", etc.. Of course, the way in which we generate our self-esteem is full of nuances and usually does not have to do with binary or clearly mutually exclusive categories, but they are usually linked to a reference of what we want to become and what we want to avoid becoming.

As self-esteem is connected to concepts belonging to the moral sphere, to what should be and what should not be, it has a great capacity to mobilize emotions in us. This means that some situations make us feel very bad because we notice that they show that we are far from being the way we would like to be, and others make us feel "on cloud nine" because we are proud of something we have done. Thus, self-esteem can both motivate us to get involved in something to feel better about who we are, and paralyze us because of the hopelessness we feel when we believe that we will never be able to make the grade in something.

What problems can a lack of self-esteem cause?

The way in which low self-esteem generates psychological problems (not necessarily so severe as to be considered part of a psychopathology) varies greatly depending on the personality, social context and lifestyle of each individual. But in general, the areas of life that experience the greatest wear and tear are as follows.

• Insecurities and jealousy in relationships.
• Problems in making friends due to fear of rejection.
• Adoption of a communication style lacking assertiveness.
• Predisposition to develop affective relationships based on dependency.
• Tendency to reject opportunities due to fear of new challenges.

How can I strengthen my self-esteem?

These are some guidelines and strategies that can help you to regulate your self-esteem upwards.

1. Detach yourself from the people you want to be liked at all costs.

There are cases in which we seek a person's approval precisely because we notice that he or she does not value us.This kind of experience is a trap that wears down our ability to love and respect ourselves.

Instead of seeking validation from these people, surround yourself with friends who are able to offer you constructive criticism and who won't shut up when they see something positive or admirable in you.

2. Keep yourself on track by aiming for medium and long term goals.

If you don't show yourself that you are capable of learning and improving in some aspect of life that is meaningful to you, it is easy to reach a situation of stagnation that can lead you to a it is easy to reach a situation of stagnation that erodes your self-esteem..

Therefore, it is important that you endow your daily life with a notion of progress: learn a language, develop skills of coexistence or conflict resolution, train yourself in some science in a self-taught way, etc. If you set your own pace of progress, you will not get frustrated and you will see firsthand what you are capable of, which will have a positive impact on your self-esteem.

3. Take care of your health

It is a mistake to assume that self-esteem is achieved only through psychological or moral improvement; if you don't take care of your body, you will feel bad emotionally as well. and that will lead you to adopt a pessimistic perspective about what you do and what happens to you.

For example, look at the difference in your mood when you get enough sleep and when you do not. The same goes for many other physical wear and tear actors that produce cumulative effects: poor diet, lack of exercise and maintenance of your Muscle mass, poor posture, etc.

4. Accept the existence of imperfections in you.

Accepting them does not imply taking for granted that they will always be there (although with some of them, that is inevitable). It is simply assuming that these imperfections are there and that you should not become obsessed with not thinking about them..

That way you will be able to approach them from a constructive point of view, without focusing only on how bad they make you feel, and give a resolution to the ones you are compensated for transforming: improve your empathic listening, develop tolerance for difference, etc.

5. Assume that there is nothing wrong with seeking help.

Self-esteem is kept in good shape with the help of others.. Therefore, when you need it, seek help from others, either through informal relationships (friends, family...) or in the context of psychotherapy.

Do you want to strengthen your self-esteem with psychotherapeutic support?

The improvement of self-esteem is one of the most common intervention focuses in psychotherapy. And it is natural that this should be so, because as we have seen, it gives rise to very painful emotional situations, and the experiences that can give rise to these imbalances are varied: anyone can come to see and value themselves in a dysfunctional way. For this reason, for decades psychologists have been developing strategies and therapy techniques to reinforce patients' self-esteem and help them learn to manage it adequately.

If you are interested in psychotherapy services to enable you to progress in this area of life, please contact us. At PSiCOBAi we serve people of all ages and offer psychotherapy both face-to-face and online by video call. You will find our psychotherapy center in Majadahonda.