Insecure attachment: the keys to understanding and repairing it

Let's look at what insecure attachment is and why it is so detrimental to child development.

Childhood is a phase of life in which we are more sensitive to what surrounds us, for better or worse.

That is why during the early years it is important to ensure the correct psychological development of the little ones, both to make them happy and to prevent problems that could leave a deep imprint on them, difficult to overcome or that can even continue to be expressed in adulthood.

In this article we will see in what consists one of the psychological elements with greater capacity to stop and to damage the psychological development of the children: the insecure attachment..

Why is attachment important in the development of the child's mind?

In the way we usually speak, attachment refers to an emotional predisposition to react with positive emotions to the presence of someone, and to seek the latter in order to feel good. However, in the field of psychology, this concept is a bit more complex.

Thus, when from developmental psychology (one of the branches of behavioral science) we talk about attachment, we are referring to an element belonging to attachment theory, proposed by the psychiatrist John Bowlby in the mid-twentieth century.. This researcher investigated how the relational dynamics between parents and/or mothers, on the one hand, and children, on the other, shape the way in which the latter learn to interact with the environment and with others.

Thus, Depending on the degree to which children become accustomed to seeking proximity to these attachment figures (usually fathers and mothers), they will internalize a more or less healthy way of exploring their environment or the world in general, as they grow older.as they grow up. In fact, one of the implications of attachment theory is that this process is embodied in the actions of these children, but also in the actions they will carry out in the rest of their lives. Therefore, ensuring that they establish an adequate attachment will be a factor of prevention and psychological protection against certain behavioral and emotional alterations.

Thus, in this sense, attachment is not only an emotional phenomenon of the here and now, but a set of psychological predispositions with a long history and evolution in childhood, and which arises from their relationship with their reference attachment figures, who are their primary caregivers.

What is insecure attachment?

As we have seen, attachment is a key aspect in the evolution of children's psychological abilities to interact with the world.. This is because having a good relationship with the attachment figure allows for a balance between the freedom to explore the environment, on the one hand, and the security of being able to return to the "shelter" of the caregiver, on the other.

This already gives us a clue as to the type of attachment that is most appropriate for child development, and which is called "secure attachment". Children who internalize it develop from their first years of life a balanced level of self-esteem that encourages them to continue learning on their own, without suffering anxiety problems or other emotional imbalances generated by the uncertainty about what will happen.

Insecure attachment is, therefore, the other side of the coin.. Children who develop it are unable to find a good fit between the challenges posed by their environment and their self-confidence or their ability to anticipate consequences and plan actions, on the other hand, and frequently suffer emotional problems. It is a type of attachment that is facilitated by inadequate or directly negligent parenting models on the part of fathers, mothers and/or guardians.

In turn, insecure attachment is divided into two possible types: avoidant attachment and ambivalent attachment.. In the former, the child ignores or avoids the attachment figure, giving him/her almost the same treatment as a person he/she knows little about, as a result of an uncommitted or almost non-existent parenting model. In the second, he/she feels anxiety in the absence of the attachment figure, but when the attachment figure is present, he/she also feels discomfort and resists close contact, often expressing anger, which is facilitated by the lack of consistency and predictability in the caregiver's actions.

Both types of insecure attachment often result in dysfunctional ways of establishing relationships with others, both at work and at home.Both types of insecure attachment often lead to dysfunctional ways of establishing relationships with others, both at work and in friendships and even in relationships. That is why it is important both to apply a balanced parenting model adjusted to the needs of the children, and to go to psychotherapy if there are alterations derived from these problematic situations in the infantile stage.

In the psychological therapy sessions we will work on aspects such as:

• The repair of self-esteem.
• Training in social skills.
• Questioning maladaptive beliefs about the dangers to which one exposes oneself, and what relationships can offer.
• The management of anxiety in situations of uncertainty.

Would you like psychotherapeutic support?

If you are looking for psychotherapy services for yourself or your son or daughter or are interested in parenting counseling services, please contact us.

At Psicotools we have been helping families and people of all ages with emotional or behavioral disturbances for many years and we conduct sessions both in person at our center located in the Gràcia district of Barcelona, as well as via video call.

Bibliographical references:

• Bowlby, J. (1977). The making and breaking of affectional bonds. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 130(3): 201-210.
• Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Clinical Applications of Attachment Theory. Londres: Routledge.
• Madigan, S.; Bakermans-Kranenburg, M.J.; Van Ijzendoorn, M.H.; Moran, G.; Pederson, D.R., Benoit, D. (2006). Unresolved states of mind, anomalous parental behavior, and disorganized attachment: a review and meta-analysis of a transmission gap. Attachment & Human Development, 8(2): pp. 89 - 111.
• Main, M.; Cassidy, J. (1988). Categories of response to reunion with the parent at age 6. Developmental Psychology, 24(3): pp. 415 - 426.
• Shaffer, D. (2000). Psicología del desarrollo. Infancia y adolescencia. Editorial Thomson: Madrid.