Keys to detect the usefulness of perfectionism in our lives.

We talked about perfectionism and its advantages (if we know how to manage them).

Surely many of you have had ambivalent attitudes towards this approach.

It would not be uncommon, indeed, I know that many of you, to the now famous question in a job interview, "Can you mention any of your shortcomings? You have answered: perfectionism.

And the fact is that, right off the bat, this construct seems to be on the rise in our culture.Those who achieve high standards are "the cracks", who are admired and rewarded. What happens is that in many cases the long-term aversive consequences correlate with burnout, the feeling of continuous failure, isolation and many other problems that we will see below.

To begin this article, which is undoubtedly very summarized, I would like to clarify that we start from very theoretical, nomothetic (i.e. very general) information, and for practical purposes, although it is necessary, it is not sufficient. For all this information to be useful we have to apply it on a case-by-case basis. Hold on a little bit, we will talk about this at the end.

Functional Perfectionism vs Dysfunctional Perfectionism

We will agree that the desire to do things right coupled with a high commitment in terms of responsibility, effort and expectations, per se is not harmful at all, even less so if mistakes are taken as learning.

However, what is dysfunctional or harmful is when this is taken to the extreme, without attending to contingencies, despite the negative costs it may have in our lives, and where achievement functions as a yardstick of our worth and, of course, error is feared and taken almost as an unforgivable sin, which evidently goes hand in hand with avoidant behaviors.

This last pattern of perfectionist behavior under aversive control is often referred to as perfectionism.is often referred to as unhealthy, dysfunctional or maladaptive perfectionism, and is a transdiagnostic factor for many important psychological problems.

The main defining characteristics of a dysfunctional perfectionistic behavior pattern are as follows:

• Need for control
• Rigidity of thought and behavior
• Hypersensitivity to the opinions of others
• Excessive engagement in rumination and preoccupation
• Excessive self-criticism
• Avoidance of new situations
• Fear of failure
• All-or-nothing polarized thinking style
• Procrastination

In fact, many authors maintain a difference regarding the adaptability/disadaptability of perfectionist behavior. Stoeber, Harris and Moon (2007), for example, distinguish on the basis of the variables "perfectionistic goals" and "perfectionistic concerns".

The pattern of (healthy) perfectionistic behavior is governed by high goals and low worries.. In the unhealthy one, the level is high in both variables. Some authors also argue that problems related to dysfunctional or unhealthy perfectionism are much more associated with self-critical evaluation than with high personal standards (Dunkley, Berg and Zuroff, 2012, cited in Amores Hernández, 2017).

On harmful criticism and its maintenance

Given the relevant role that pathological criticism plays here, it is worth considering McKay's (1991) approach to explain its maintenance, we already know that this is through reinforcement, let's see:

Regarding the positive reinforcement of criticism, the author mentions two fundamental lines that are the following: the need to do good and a need to feel good, On the other hand, he adds, it is the feeling of control of our feelings of Pain such as guilt, fear of rejection and frustration, which functions as a negative reinforcer (Amores Hernández, 2017). Again, on a case-by-case basis, we have to review whether it is these or other needs that would have this reinforcing function..

Rumination and excessive worry

Nolen-Hoeksema and collaborators (2008) defined rumination as "repetitive thinking about the causes, consequences and symptoms of a person's negative affect".

Rumination has been associated with psychological distress, since by "ruminating" we avoid processing negative experiences and emotions. As such, rumination acts as an avoidant emotional regulation strategy that is going to hinder, even block effective resolution of our problems (Nolen-Hoeksema et al., cit. in Senderey, 2017).

Rumination maintains distress because attention is focused on what went wrong rather than on what can be done to make things better. We enter a vicious cycle that exacerbates distress, hence the biased thoughts and escape, blocking, or avoidance behaviors.

Worry is a problem-solving effort. However, because the problem is not actual but hypothetical or out of our control, it becomes futile and counterproductive if it does not activate us.

Worry is a verbal linguistic attempt to prevent future feared events.. It offers us questions along the lines of "What if..." (Harvey et al. 2009; cited in Senderey, 2017).

Some long-term consequences of dysfunctional perfectionistic behaviors.

Moving a bit further, Shafran, Cooper, and Fairburn (2002) present some examples of the long-term consequences of the pattern of dysfunctional perfectionistic behaviors: at the emotional level, exhaustion, moodiness, depression; at the social level, isolation; at the physiological level, insomnia; at the cognitive level, disturbances in attention, concentration, and concentration; and at the cognitive level, disturbances in attention, concentration, and concentration.At the behavioral level, repeated checking of work or tasks that result in a high level of time wasting or procrastination.

Because of this it is not surprising to find studies that show this pattern as a vulnerability factor for even more acute and sustained problems over time such as depression, social anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder or eating disorders, having even authors who have investigated its relationship with suicide (Kiamanesh, Dieserud, Dyregrov, & Haavind, 2015., cit. in Amores Hernández, 2017).

The importance of psychological flexibility.

In functional or adaptive perfectionist behavior, we are much more flexible when evaluating whether we have achieved our goals and therefore experience less stress if we do not achieve them.

In contrast, one of the notorious characteristics of the harmful one is precisely rigidity. Some studies have shown that adaptive perfectionism is positively related to life satisfaction and negatively related to depression, hopelessness, and avoidant and anxious adult attachment styles. (Gnilka, Ashby, & Noble, 2013).

The impact on our self-esteem and self-acceptance.

Weak self-esteem is a result of an overall negative view of oneself that is constantly reinforced by the difficulty of achieving the desired level of aspiration, competence, and capability.

The basis for change is acceptance, and it is by accepting limitations that we can overcome them. Self-acceptance is considered to be protective of self-esteem and is independent of achievement. (Burns, 1983., cit. in Senderey, 2017).

So, is perfectionism useless and harmful?

As we mentioned at the beginning, all this information is of little help if we do not ground it on a case-by-case basis, and it is from here that we will be able to assess whether it is being useful or not.

From the contextual behavioral therapies, the first thing we are going to do is what we call an idiographic functional analysis. That is, roughly speaking, we will start by asking you what you understand by perfectionism, so that we can find those behaviors or series of behaviors (types of response) in certain situations.

That is to say, to operationalize all this in relation to that context and to your life history. For example, you could say: "I worry a lot about the details", "I have an atrocious fear of failure", "I constantly criticize myself", "I tend to procrastinate", etc. Well so far, as you can see these descriptions are very general, but we are starting to see elements such as intensity, frequency and duration, which we take into account.

Now, it surely doesn't happen to you in all contexts, let's find out in which situations or domains of your life.. And from here one of the most crucial questions is whether this prevents or facilitates you to reach your goals and make your life richer.

You see, worrying about details, being afraid to fail, procrastinating, etc, is natural, I would even say it's great if it helps you take action and prepare a speech better, or that postponing a coffee with friends in pursuit of preparing your thesis can be quite useful, right?

Going further, even the high or low intensity, frequency and duration of some behaviors are quite functional in certain contexts. That is, if you work as an engineer or administrator, it is a plus. The key, then, will be to establish what it is that you want in your life, what makes it meaningful, and from there assess whether those behaviors are leading you in the long run towards that path, and if not, work to find other ways to get there.

Bibliographical references:

• Amores Hernández, A. (2017). Perfectionism, fear of failure and depressive symptoms. Comillas Pontifical University Repository. Retrieved from https://repositorio.comillas.edu/jspui/bitstream/11531/23179/1/TFM000700.pdf
• Gnilka, P. B., Ashby, J. S., & Noble, C. M. (2013). Adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism as mediators of adult attachment styles and depression, hopelessness, and life satisfaction. Journal Of Counseling & Development; 91(1), 78-86.
• Senderey, E. (2017). Mindfulness and Group Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to Address Problematic Perfectionism. Athens Journal of Social Sciences; 4 (1), 49-66.
• Shafran, R., Cooper, Z., y Fairburn, C. G. (2002). Clinical perfectionism: A cognitive–behavioural analysis. Behaviour Research and Therapy; 40(7), 773-791.