Lack of social skills in adults: its effects, and how to address it.

Lack of social skills is a more common problem than it seems in adults.

Many people in adulthood suffer from problems in their social skills, either to a greater or lesser extent.to a greater or lesser extent.

We are going to try to explain the main consequences that this deficit can generate in these people, as well as some of the most habitual techniques that are used to obtain an improvement in these capacities and to correct in this way the repercussions that they have in their day to day.

The importance of social skills

In order to address the problem of the lack of social skills in adults, it is essential that we first know what exactly this concept refers to in order to know where its importance lies and the problem of suffering from a deficit in this area.

Social skills, or social competencies, refer to all those capacities of an individual that all those capabilities of an individual that enable and facilitate the ability to interact with peers and communicate adequately in different contexts, knowing how to make use of the social rules.. In short, thanks to these skills, the person will be able to socialize with others in a correct and satisfactory way for both parties.

Simply by following this brief definition, we can get an idea of the consequences of a lack of social skills in adults, since their possibilities of interacting with other people would be diminished and therefore they would have difficulties in their way of communicating with others, with the negative results this would have on the subject.

If we ask ourselves what some of the social skills might be, we can see some concrete examples. Active listening would be one of the most common. Also the simple fact of knowing the proper way to start, maintain and end a conversation, according to social rules. Introducing oneself or others, asking questions or thanking for something, would also be one of them.

Some more complex ones, the lack of which can also represent a lack of social skills in adults, would be asking for forgiveness, asking for a favor, trying to persuade someone, giving an opinion about an event, explaining the instructions to perform a certain task, expressing how you feel, empathizing with others, asking for permission, joking or complaining.empathizing with others, asking permission, joking or complaining.

These are just a few examples. We can intuit, therefore, that a lack of social skills in adults can severely limit a person's possibilities for interaction, which can have serious repercussions in their daily life.

Causes of lack of social skills in adults

Authors such as Gresham have tried to investigate the causes behind the lack of social skills in adults. In his 1998 study, he discusses possible origins of a very diverse nature. One of them would be the consumption of substances, such as alcohol, which could have a physical as well as a psychological effect on the person.

Even such alcohol addiction could affect not only the person himself, but also his children, in the case of pregnant women, who may give birth to children with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. In any case, the abuse of this substance represents one of the possible causes of a lack of social skills in adults..

But this problem could also be generated by some psychopathology, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).. People who suffer from ADHD, especially during adolescence, may be rejected by their peers. Likewise, people suffering from autism spectrum disorder may also see their way of communicating and interacting with other individuals altered.

Other psychopathologies that may also represent an origin for the lack of social skills in adults include depression and generalized anxietyThe reason for this is precisely because, as a result of these disorders, these individuals may have reduced occasions to communicate with other subjects, and when such occasions do occur, they may not be in the right conditions to interact properly.

Consequences of social skills deficits in adulthood

We have already seen some of the possible causes of the lack of social skills in adults. Now we must talk about the consequences of this deficit. Let us list some of the most important ones.

1. Self-esteem problems

It is obvious that if a person is deprived of his ability to socialize, it will have negative effects on him that will have repercussions, among other things, on his own self-esteem. Not being able to communicate adequately with others, even at very basic levels, can cause the subject to evaluate him/herself negatively.This can also create a vicious circle by making the possibilities of interaction even more difficult.

This would occur because the individual does not want to face again situations that have generated discomfort and a poor self-perception. Therefore, one of the most important consequences of a lack of social skills in adults are problems related to low self-esteem.

2. Anxiety and depression

We have already seen that pathologies such as anxiety and depression can lead to difficulties in social skills. But in addition to being a cause, they can also be a consequence of these.. Conflicts and uncomfortable situations generated as a result of inadequate interactions can forge a feeling of continued sadness in the individual, as well as anxiogenic symptoms when thinking about past and future interactions.

Therefore, the lack of social skills in adults can lead to conditions that could fit with depression and/or anxiety, which is another reason to give this issue the importance it deserves.

3. Inability to resolve conflicts

Going to more concrete situations that can also be a consequence of this problem, we could find the example of the inability to resolve conflicts. Conflicts, to a greater or lesser extent, are a routine part of human interactions. Therefore, the lack of social skills in adults may mean that a person is not able to cope with these common situations.

In that sense, a conflict, no matter how small, could be a scenario that would overwhelm the individual, feeling unable to cope with it, much less to resolve it.. In turn, this could cause stress to the person and even lead to the anxious-depressive symptoms we saw in the previous point.

4. Rejection by others

Not all the consequences are generated in the person who has this deficit of social skills. This situation can also have repercussions on the individuals around him/her, who may prefer to avoid interactions with others.They may prefer to avoid interactions with them knowing that he/she has problems behaving in a socially accepted manner.

This perception could be harmful to the subject's self-esteem, as we have already seen, and lead to symptoms compatible with the anxiety or depression we were talking about.

How to overcome these problems?

Once the problem of the lack of social skills in adults has been analyzed, the question that should be asked is whether this situation can be solved in any way. As in almost all cases, when we talk about psychological alterations, it is essential to carry out a personalized evaluation of the case, task that will correspond to the professional psychologist in charge of it..

However, in general terms, it can be stated that social skills can be improved, at least partially, thanks to different techniques and forms of cognitive-behavioral training.

1. Modeling technique

One of them would be that of modeling, by which a person who is supposed to be an expert in the use of social skills shows the person who suffers from the social skills, shows the person suffering the deficit how to behave in different social situations that occur on a daily basis.. In this way, having a clear model, you can compare with your own way of acting and modify your behavior in a conscious way.

2. Behavioral practices

But the observation of others may not be enough to solve the lack of social skills in adults. Therefore, another widely used technique is precisely practice. In order to do so, the therapist can propose a series of interactions, starting with some very simple ones, in which the person has to behave in a certain way..

These scenarios can be simulated, as in a role-playing game, or real, visiting places where these interactions can occur naturally, such as a store.

3. Desensitization

If one of the causes of the lack of social skills in adults is the anxiety that these situations provoke in the person, it may be necessary to resort to techniques such as desensitization, in order to reduce the physiological activation that it is generating in the person.

Bibliographical references:

• Bernal, A.O. (1990). Social skills and their training; a necessarily psychosocial approach. Psicothema.
• Del Prette, A., Del Prette, Z.A.P. (2013). Effective social skills training programs based on experiential methods. Psychology Notes.
• Gresham, F.M. (1998). Social skills training: Should we raze, remodel, or rebuild? Behavioral Disorders.
• Iruarrizaga, I., Gómez-Segura, J., Criado, T., Zuazo, M., Sastre, E. (1999). Anxiety reduction through social skills training. Electronic Journal of Motivation and Emotion.