Learning to love oneself and advancing in self-knowledge

Some basic tips on how to learn to love oneself on a daily basis.

Loving ourselves well is not just about indulging ourselves or doing activities that we enjoy. Learning to love ourselves is a path of encounter with our intrinsic goodness. It is to rest deep within ourselves and trust that we can unfold our potential and abandon causing ourselves harm.

Throughout our history, we store conditioning, tendencies that limit us with greater or lesser intensity and prevent us from maintaining a state of well-being.

Learned behaviors that defend us from hostile or harmful environments or other painful factors are no longer necessary. In our present they close our heart, keeping us away from potentially beneficial or enriching experiences. To learn to love ourselves is to regain confidence in being able to embrace authentic happiness..

How to learn to love yourself

How can we start? Let's look at some keys.

1. To know ourselves without self-deceptions

To travel a path of self-knowledge. Explore our mind. How we are, what our predominant emotions are and how they affect us. We can attribute qualities to ourselves that we do not have and deny others, projecting onto others that which makes us uncomfortable.

The love for oneself needs to create an internal link from honesty and courage.. To know our defects in order to polish them and our qualities in order to enhance them. If we do not open our Heart to what is inside, we will hardly be able to love ourselves.

To give ourselves permission to shed our masks. To meet our reality without disguises or self-deceptions and embrace what we find.

2. Accepting ourselves as we are

Sometimes we reject some of our facets because of shame or pain.. We corner them without giving them a space, creating suffering and bitterness. We need to accept them. Without excuses or conditions.

Connect with love for ourselves, stop hurting ourselves and allow ourselves to be happy. Abandon passive indulgence towards our conditioning, "I am like this and I am not going to change". Open an inner space with affection and kindness where to integrate those disapproved and hidden facets. To thaw the ice cubes that we keep in dark and hidden places with love and warmth. Only from this unconditional acceptance, we can begin to love ourselves..

3. Understand our conditioning

From the moment we are born we are writing our history and leaving traces in our consciousness. Having information about our ancestors, family system, the context in which we grew up will help us to understand many unknowns. Broadening the vision of our life allows us to understand ourselves better.

Understanding, honesty and a good inner relationship open our heart to self open our hearts to self-esteem and healthy love. Reviewing our biography may open up resentments or unresolved wounds, but we need to do it to release them.

We may need specialized help to walk this path, if so, it is good to seek it. Accumulating reproaches and anger will bring us bitterness. It will not allow us to let go of what hurts us. To love ourselves well is to help us to be happy, to be our best friend.. Dust off what keeps us away from the intrinsic goodness of our heart and trust it to make it shine.

4. To commit ourselves to us

We acquire work, school, judicial, contractual, matrimonial commitments... And we? Where do we stand?

The most important commitment we can guard is the commitment to us .. Binding ourselves at a deep level to our heart. Committing to take care of ourselves, not to harm ourselves and to protect ourselves is a vow we should renew frequently.

We can review how we want to initiate this commitment. Make a list of what helps us connect with our heart and what keeps us away. Incorporate time in our hectic lives to listen to ourselves. Learn to truly love ourselves, without stinginess or deceit.

5. Attend to and care for our three gates: body, speech and mind.

To love ourselves well, we have to take care of our body, watch over our mind and pay attention to our word.. They are three revolving doors to the outside that go straight to the heart. A conscious and vigilant attention to what goes in and out of them shows us a way to learn to love ourselves.

Tuning in to our body

The body is the place we inhabit. Through our sensory awareness (taste, touch, sight, smell, hearing), we communicate with the outside world. Each stimulus has a bodily resonance. A caress, a step, a murmur or a shout have a very different impact.

It is easy for us to live disconnected from the body. It is difficult for us to identify our needs or to tune in to our body awareness..

To learn to love ourselves, we need to tune in to the frequency of our body. Learn to listen to it, to respect it. Feed it properly, give it rest, movement, care. If we tune in with full attention to our senses, we will be more selective and careful with what enters our heart: noise, junk food, hyperstimulation, lack of sleep, aggressive images, overinformation... We will filter better what is healthy and we will close the way to harmful elements.

The way we look at our body determines how we relate to it.. If there is rejection or shame, we will be disintegrated. Our head will go one way and our body another. We will consciously or unconsciously punish ourselves and give rise to illnesses, distortions of our reality or self-injurious tendencies. Connecting needs listening, respect and patience. The body anchors us to the earth so that we can aspire to go further.

Watching our words

The word is a very powerful weapon. Spiritual masters tell us: "When you are alone, watch your mind. When you are with people, watch your word". Watching the word is also a way to love ourselves well.

We can speak without words. In these days of confinement, if we spend time alone, becoming aware of our inner dialogues will help us to know better how we communicate. What we say to ourselves and how we say it. This inner word can easily come out of our mouth to encourage or hurt other people.

Depending on how we communicate with others, we will receive a response. The relationship with others starts from a good relationship with ourselves. If we take care of the way we communicate with others, we will facilitate a space of encounter dialogue and understanding.

Observing our mind

The mind is the boss. The way we behave, communicate and take care of ourselves is born in our mind.

Thoughts or emotions are manifestations of our mind. They arise from it and dissolve in it, like waves in the ocean. If we train ourselves to be vigilant and attentive, we can better manage our inner world so that it does not harm us and is kinder to us. Looping thoughts drag us down and steal energy. It is good to observe them, and to realize that there are many of them that are susceptible to change.. Distinguish the negative ones and transform them into positive ones.

When feelings of discouragement appear, accept them, go to the root and turn them around. The challenge is to accept what arises without letting ourselves be dragged down by it.

Conclusion

We need to learn to love ourselves in a healthy way; to be our own best friends.

When self-esteem is very damaged, it is necessary to seek therapeutic accompaniment. Releasing deep-rooted conditioning is not easy, because we have a lot of resistance to letting go of it. They have been our companions for many years. If you decide to learn to love yourself, seek help, do not doubt that it is worth it.