Learning to manage empathy and adaptability: two wonderful human qualities

Adaptability and Empathy are the best qualities for the development of happiness.

Adaptability and empathy: How to take advantage of these two qualities to become a better person?

"I adapt to situations."

"I don't mind giving in."

"I adapt."

"Others don't give in for me, they are more rigid."

"If I don't adapt myself, others don't."

There are many times that we people are not aware that they do to us what we consent to be done to us. This is what makes people, especially those close to us, behave in a way we don't like.

From my point of view, ADAPTABILITY and EMPATHY are two of the best qualities for the development of happiness as I understand it, practice it and teach it: Being the person you want to be and having the life you want.

If we know how to use both qualities, they are designed to be tools that help us to bring out our full potential, including in difficult moments, when they can play a decisive role. If we do not know how to deal with them, they can become a deadly trap that leads us to live by or for others, without responding to our will.

The first thing we are going to do is to see what these two qualities really are.

Adaptability

It is the ability to modify according to change. Why in my point of view is it one of the best tools and qualities that we should enhance? While rigidity is immobility, adaptation is change, learning, movement. As Darwin said, the survival of the animal world lies in its ability to adapt to change.

If there is one thing that characterizes life, it is constant uncertainty and constant change. Human beings have wonderful qualities, but have not taken the time to learn them. We do not control anything external to ourselves, so the ability to adapt to change or uncertainty becomes the perfect tool for life. It eliminates resistance, denial to what happens by giving you the ability and power to redirect your life, following YOUR pathtaking into account the circumstances. Beautiful, isn't it?

Let's move on to the next concept. Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the other person's shoes. How is this ability practical for your daily life? Empathy facilitates understanding and the ability to love, compassion, creativity, so necessary to see the options we have or paths that exist to get to where you want, problem solving and of course the advancement and capacity for forgiveness and therefore, is very useful in all aspects of the sentimental plane.

The two sides of the same coin

To adapt is not to give in, much less to modify what you want according to others or to give up your dreams because of external pressures. Empathy is not putting situations, problems, even the moments of joy or achievements of others ahead of your own life, what you feel, what you want, what happens to you or what you simply feel like expressing.

That's why we get confused. Because where we talk about empathy and adaptation there is a certain absence of boundaries. This is not a big problem, because it can be solved. When it comes to the question of setting boundaries, we are talking about one of the great and little known facets or areas of self-esteem.

What can I do in this case? What does it mean to set boundaries?

Boundaries mark what you let or don't let/allow to happen in your life, from eating a mint ice cream when you don't like it, to allowing a bad gesture, to working on something you hate. So, when you set boundaries, what you're really doing is elevating your quality of life, discerning between what you love and what doesn't bring you anything positive.

But... if I've spent my whole life without setting them... Will I be able to now?

Of course you can. It is a matter of desire, learning and perseverance.

When you start to set limits in your life you are surprised how, thinking that you were going to create conflict or lose "things or people" because of the change, what happens is that people start to show you more respect, and everything starts to balance.

Now your mind may tell you, "it's impossible." but it is only because you did not know how to face reality..

Now you know that your empathy and adaptation are good and that in the face of what hurts you you can set limits, that it is not a consequence of being an adaptive and/or empathetic person. It is a matter of self-esteem, and by simply taking a few classes you can achieve the changes you are looking for.

How do I get started?

Make a list of I WILL NOT ALLOWThis is the first step.