Living together as a couple during confinement: 9 tips

Some recommendations to ensure that the couple's relationship is not damaged by the quarantine.

On March 14, a state of alarm was declared in Spain due to COVID-19. This meant that we had to go from being at home for a few hours to staying at home 24 hours a day, except for people whose work allowed them to go out.

This state of confinement has not only affected people at the individual level (stress, anxiety, sadness, despair...) but also at the family level and in relationships.

For this reason, below you will find some recommendations so that the coexistence in pair is more bearable.

Tips to improve cohabitation as a couple during confinement

Follow these key habits and ideas to make living together more bearable in times of quarantine.

1. Respect space

If there is one thing that is necessary right now, it is to have a space in which to be alone at certain times of the day.

Undoubtedly, being with loved ones is part of the recommendations for this confinement but, the truth is that in many occasions we need some time for ourselves. Therefore, it is necessary and it is necessary and healthy that there are moments of the day in which we have our own space.. This also allows us to enjoy more of the time we spend as a couple.

2. Good communication

Another important aspect to emphasize, and not only for the confinement but for all couples in general, is to be able to have a good communication.

It is about expressing our emotions, worries and thoughts to each other. as well as listen to what the other person also has to tell us. Let's avoid judging and try to give space to conversations in a fluid way and try to understand the other person's position.

3. Is it really that important?

In living together in general, it happens many times that we argue about things such as routine, cleanliness, order, etc. It is clear that these are important aspects to take into account in the day to day, but we are living a situation of alarm, confined, living intense emotions, and this can lead to the fact that we do not feel like doing the dishes at the time we used to do it, or that we forget to pick up the laundry because we are immersed in a movie we were watching.

So the key is to prioritize and the key is to prioritize and see that maybe there are things that aren't so important right now.. Let's try not to argue about trivial things and see that there may be other times for that. It is about trying to be more flexible, not that we completely stop doing the things we did before.

4. Promote positive activities as a couple

How are we going to do enjoyable activities as a couple when we are at home? The most typical might be watching a movie together, but let's go further. Try to prepare a special dinner for your partner, take a shower together, put on some music to dance to, play board games, have a chat about a trip you took some time ago?

It's all about trying to to look for positive moments between the two of you, more than just "living" together.. Try to make a plan in the same way you would do it if you were not confined but find a way to do it at home.

5. Empathy

We are individuals, with our thoughts, emotions and learnings; therefore, each person is experiencing this situation in a very different way.. We need to try to understand this, and put ourselves in our partner's situation.

We may not see the health emergency situation in the same way, but let us try to understand each other and respect each other's emotions and time. Some people need more time to adjustothers are experiencing this as if everything is the same. Try to empathize and respect.

6. Sex

In this aspect there are people who, by spending more time at home, are having more sex, but we also find the opposite. Now that there is more time for it, look for the moments in which both of you are more receptive, propose new things, take advantage to communicate sexually. There is no doubt that sexuality is important and fosters positive emotions within the couple..

It should be noted here that of course there will be people who during this situation are with emotions of sadness, anxiety and obviously no desire to have sex. Let us remember points 2 and 5 (Communication and Empathy), let us talk to our partner and understand what he/she feels. Avoid reproaches and respect their space..

7. Negotiation

The couple is not a relationship in which we have to be negotiating all the time, but it is true that for some situations it is necessary to "agree".

There will be times when we do not think alike, even if we try to be empathetic it will be very difficult and therefore we also have to have some method of negotiation that will help us to reach agreements. This is not something that we have to use in excess, but it is very useful for certain moments..

Remember: try to relativize if the reason for discussion is something really important, if it is but you cannot reach an agreement, try to propose an intermediate position. Sometimes one will give in and sometimes the other.

8. Organization

We have already mentioned that perhaps it is not the time to focus on the little things that are not done and that it is better to try to relativize what is most important. But of course... we still live in a small space in which we have to spend many hours.

For this reason, it is also it is important that we keep an organization about household chores and mandatory chores. This will greatly facilitate having time for other more enjoyable activities and reduce arguments.

9. Discussions

Okay... we have already tried to give some guidelines to improve the coexistence, but... And what happens when we argue? This is normal, it is difficult for us to be in the same space for several days without having any kind of discussion..

The first thing to do is to normalize this: disagreements are normal without quarantine. The second thing to do is to try to relax within the discussion, that is, try to lower the emotion of anger. Find a place in the house to be alone until you feel that your anger has subsided sufficiently, and then try to communicate with your partner again. try to communicate again with your partnerIf you are unable to reach an agreement, remember point 7 (negotiation). Let's also not forget point 3 (Is it really that important?).

Conclusion

These are some recommendations that we propose you from Mariva Psychologists. Sometimes this is not enough and the couple is going through a bad moment, probably already before the confinement but this has been aggravated by the situation. If this is your case, you can come to our center or contact us for any questions you may have.