Love and responsibility as principles for a better life

A reflection on the importance of the vital values of love and responsibility.

Did you know that the most difficult words to pronounce are "I love you", "forgive me" and "help me"?

To say "I love you" is to manifest passion for life and for each other. "Forgiveness" is a conscious act of humility to be able to forgive yourself. To pronounce the word "help me", translates lucidity of spirit, of mind and evidences the notion that alone we are insignificant and we achieve nothing. It is in the most vulnerable moments of our existence that we must have the courage to ask for help honestly.

One does not live without breathing, nor does one live without love.. The power and meaning of love goes far beyond any knowledge or philosophy.

Live with love always present and you will have a full life.

True love is inexhaustible and cannot be explained in words. Why is it so difficult for me to have self-love? Why do the opinions of girlfriends, parents, colleagues, have such an overwhelming impact on me? How can I protect myself against the attacks of those who, for a reason unknown to me, cause me to decline?

The only way to defend ourselves from external attacks is to find the love within us, so that it is reflected back to us.so that it can be reflected outwardly. It is impossible to transmit love without loving ourselves first. Although it is one of the most difficult words to pronounce, it is also one of those that we cannot stop uttering.

Tired of Being Tired

Shortly before the start of the afternoon therapeutic group, I noticed that, on the porch, sheltered from a drizzle that was marking the water in the swimming pool in one of the inpatient units, three patients were preparing to participate in a mini-group where they were discussing their experiences.

Admiring from afar those three human beings, who until recently had never met, and observing the completely disinterested way in which they helped each other, I felt that this kind of union could be one of the best ways to represent, symbolically, the feeling of love.

I approached a little closer and I noticed that one of them. At the time, he had only been with us for a little over a week. He was crying compulsively, as if releasing tons of accumulated pain, sadness, anguish and suffering.

That 36-year-old man was in those moments completely vulnerable, pure and authentic, showing by his painful words, to be "sick of being sick", of suffering and "tired of being tired", of having the kind of life he had, before being hospitalized.

When I asked him what was going on, he said:

• "Doctor, I know that because of the kind of life I led, I hurt the people I love the most. Now I'm feeling a huge guilt that I don't know how to deal with. My parents are completely broken. I don't know what to do. I am at a loss... How can I forgive myself for the suffering I've caused them?

Seeing the desperate state he was in and knowing that that moment could be crucial to his therapeutic process, I replied:

• "Patience... a lot of patience. Don't be in a hurry to solve all your problems at once. By sharing your feelings, as you have done now, you are ready to give your best and begin to process all the emotions that, because they were too painful for you, you locked up and buried alive inside you. Continue to share and ask for help. In time, you will forgive yourself, you will free yourself from the Pain of your past...and before long you will like yourself again."

Hearing my words, she gave me an unsure look and asked:

• "Do you think that's going to happen?".

I replied:

• "I believe! You are going to be able to... I believe in you."

At that moment, feeling that I placed my trust in him and that I believed that he would do everything he could to make the treatment a success, an immediate relief was visible on his face.I could see an immediate relief on his face. Shortly after and following my suggestion, he opened the therapeutic group, giving continuity to his experience.

Because of the love that existed in the process of mutual aid and the liberating power of sharing, which he continued to maintain throughout his treatment, this young-adult saw his self-love reborn..... He gradually freed himself from the negative weight he was carrying inside and soon understood that he would have to forgive himself in order to let go of the weight of his past and be able to continue on the road to a better, lighter and happier life.

This was one of the many cases with which I cooperated, in which it is possible to observe how the emotional burden of our past experiences can completely block the motivation to live in the present, or even prevent us from considering that it is possible to live a better, lighter and happier life.or even prevent us from considering that there may exist, for us, a future.

What is Responsibility?

In previous articles we saw a series of principles to live better.

With the first principle you learned to live in truth with yourself, with others and with the world. In the second principle you gained awareness that it is only possible to overcome a problem, regardless of its nature, when you accept that you have it.

You also know that much more than living happily or contentedly, you can live guided by the third principle, that of gratitude. If you do so, you will have a fuller, more valuable, enriching, stimulating and passionate experience of life.. Your personal development reaches its peak when you can live in a state of virtue or happiness because you are fulfilled by the fourth principle, that of love.

However, we need to incorporate one more principle so that we can develop balance in our feelings and thoughts. I am referring to the principle of responsibility.

It is important to note that all of us are born without understanding the importance or meaning of responsibility..

Frequently, we use justifications, excuses, manipulate and victimize, instead of assuming our actions. As children, we tend to blame others for all the bad things that happen to us. Perhaps, some of us are not yet ready to take charge of our lives. Not everyone wants to change and grow up.

Maturity requires taking responsibility.and true leaders love new challenges. If you want to be a respected and responsible individual, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have suffered enough. Don't think that there is a universal conspiracy to make you fail all the time, or to make you feel ashamed, unhappy.

The Little Bird

In one city there was a man who was considered by all the people to be a great sage. Many people came from far away to ask him questions.

A child wanted to put the wise man to the test, asking a question with a very difficult answer. And he planned to appear before the wise man carrying a little bird hidden in his hand. "What do I have hidden in my hand?" the little boy would inquire. "If he says a bird, I will insist: is it dead or alive?". He would plan. "If the wise man answers that it is alive, I will crush it and kill it then and there. If he says he is dead, the answer will be wrong," the boy mused, believing himself to be on the perfect plan. He went to a nest to look for a little bird, went out to meet the wise man and asked him:

-What do I have in my hand? The wise man thought and said: -A little bird. -True. But is it alive or dead? The sage thought again and answered: -It depends on you. If you squeeze it, it is dead. If you open your hand, it is alive. It is up to you.

It is up to us to choose life or death, love or fear, truth or falsehood, sadness or joy, ingratitude or gratitude, responsibility or irresponsibility. It's up to you.