Negative thoughts in the face of discomfort: what is the point of them?

What is the raison d'être of thoughts with an unpleasant or uncomfortable content?

It is our daily practice that, whether they suffer from depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder or work-related stress, all the people who come to us for help have negative or unpleasant thoughts about themselves. These thoughts are of the type "I am not doing enough", "I am stupid", "I can't make it", etc.

The school of positive psychology sends this message, "if you think good, you will feel good", as a mantra that, if you do not take into account the context and your circumstances, will fulfill the purpose of being happy. Although this school has evolved and currently has very valuable references, in a large part of the population the idea persists that unpleasant thoughts should not be allowed in. and, automatically the transformation has to be towards thoughts of value towards oneself. In view of this, it is worth asking: if you do not allow the unpleasant to flow, how do you manage to transform it?

In this article, I will explain the functions of negative thoughts and considerations about when to pay attention to them and when to ask for professional help. In one sentence the answer would be, always pay attention.

Negative thoughts and brain anatomy

Thoughts are generated in the prefrontal cortex, one of the most specialized brain areas of the human being. Every thought tries to manage an emotion, which is born as an unstoppable cascade from deeper areas of the brain, specifically the limbic system. This means that first we feel and then we think. As Benjamin Libet said, "800 milliseconds before a decision is made, electrical potentials are triggered in limbic areas of the brain".

In the face of unpleasant feelings (anger, guilt, sadness, fear...), the rational brain needs to interpret what has happened, and it needs time. Logically, part of the thinking will be directed to "What have I done to solve the problem?" That is where these thoughts make their appearance; that is, if the feelings are not channeled or solved, the interpretation itself will be of the type "I am not capable" and self-deprecating messages will appear..

Although this article focuses on negative thoughts towards oneself, it is important to note that the same is true when negative and automated thoughts are directed towards others or the world. The difference would be that the message would no longer be tinged with fear or guilt, but with anger or resentment. In short, it is important to learn to separate the perception of ourselves from that of others or the world.

Language constructs a reality, but it also represents it.

If we remain fixed in a way of speaking or thinking, this usually modifies our perception, and all the information that enters us (the way we speak or think) is not only a way of thinking, but also a way of thinking. and any information that enters us (what we see, hear, feel) will be conditioned by that way of speaking or thinking.

If, for example, your way of thinking is "everything goes wrong, I don't do anything right", the moment you develop a successful activity, your own perceptive system will put the accent on "you have been lucky", not on your personal ability. This way of thinking and perceiving reality hinders learning to grow and develop.

It is also true that the environmental situation is important and that we do not always make good decisions when interacting with it, so the negative thoughts there can become a very interesting analysis of the type "what should I change so that it does not happen again? Returning to the previous example, if, when faced with failure in a task, you distinguish that lack of time and pressure from others has played a role in that feeling of failure, you will find it easier to separate "what should I change so that it doesn't happen again? you will find it easier to separate "what I am able to do" from "what I have been able to do"..

When bad thoughts are functional

When there is mental flexibility, you allow yourself to learn from mistakes and you let unpleasant thoughts flow about yourself that help you learn and not whip yourself.

For you to develop this flexibility, it is important to have an intimate and safe space (at home, in the village, in the mountains, etc.) where you can clear your mind and give yourself time for reflection, which is also a way of loving yourself. Learning has to lead to satisfaction, even if the road is paved and arduous.

When bad thoughts are dysfunctional

When there is mental rigidity, you can be like an iron beam, trying in any way that nothing can bend you or weaken you.. The problem is when something or someone manages to "bend" you and either it is very difficult and painful to straighten up again, or you experience a "glass shattering" effect, feeling that you are split into a thousand pieces and lose hope.

As we have said before about language, everything is conditioned, either you are hard, or you isolate yourself so you don't break. From that point of view it is very difficult to give yourself a chance again.

If the thoughts block you, repeat themselves incessantly, do not allow you to learn, and even the same situation that generates the problem reappears again and again without change, it is time to call a professional and ask for help.

Author: Juan Fernández-Rodríguez Labordeta, psychologist at Terapéutica en Alza.