Personal Disconnection due to Toxic Family Relationships

Family problems can generate difficulties in "connecting" with others.

The experiences we live in the family context have a great influence on our way of perceiving and managing both personal relationships and the relationship we have with our own emotions. That is why, in psychotherapy, one of the aspects in which we work to help patients has to do with the way they interact with their family members.

The way in which we have been living or sharing key moments with our parents, uncles, aunts, uncles, grandparents and other reference figures has an important psychological impact on us, for better or for worse. That is why, if those family relationships become toxic, we are likely to develop psychological problems that are reflected in the way we try to make friends, communicate with co-workers, etc.

In this article you will find a summary of how emotional disconnection with others is generated as a result of having gone through troubled family experiencesand what is done in the psychologist's office to address these problems.

The psychological impact of toxic family dynamics.

If each person is unique and unrepeatable, this idea can be applied as much or more in the case of families. However, they all have in common that they play a fundamental role in the development of the personality of human beings, especially during childhood and adolescence.

But even in adulthood, toxic family dynamics contribute to social isolation for the sufferer. Not necessarily by spending little time in the company of other people, but above all by being unable to "connect" in an emotionally meaningful way with others.

In other words, the family is not only that scaffolding structure on which we build our socialization skills, having first practiced with fathers, mothers and relatives. It is also, in most cases, the environment that we feel should be our "safe environment", where we would normally have our most important needs met, including that of retaining a certain level of autonomy and time for ourselves.

Given this, it is not surprising that family problems have implications in all areas of a person's life.

Why does emotional disconnect arise after problems in the family?

In essence, emotionally painful or even traumatic experiences associated with the family lead many people to isolate themselves socially, consciously or unconsciously.consciously or unconsciously. Some of the causes they allege are as follows:

⦁ Fear that someone will cause them the same discomfort they have suffered in their families. ⦁ Embarrassment because of the image they believe their families convey. ⦁ Dysfunctional beliefs about human goodness or evil. ⦁ Lack of time or energy to cultivate friendships, due to having to deal with conflicts in their families.

How can psychologists help you with these problems?

As we have seen, each family has its own dynamics and characteristics. any form of therapeutic intervention always begins by examining on a case-by-case basis what is wrong with the patient.. Once this is done, psychologists establish a working hypothesis and propose possible solutions to help the person overcome their discomfort, in addition to agreeing on a specific goal to be reached (with the help and assistance of the professional).

These psychological interventions to provide a solution to emotional disconnection can take many forms depending on the specific causes of the problem, but the following strategies and techniques generally stand out.

1. Conflict resolution and assertiveness training.

Since toxic family dynamics are part of the causes of what is happening to the patient, it is usually very helpful to train the patient in conflict resolution and assertiveness, it is usually helpful to train him/her in conflict management skills..

The objective is that, from assertiveness, he can preserve his individuality and can assert himself before those members of the family who consciously or unconsciously have been contributing to not being able to relate normally with others.

2. Cognitive restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is based on to put to test to the beliefs that the patient clings toto see which ones are dysfunctional and play against him/her in overcoming the problem he/she is suffering from.

Once this is done, alternative ideas and frameworks of interpretation of reality are proposed, allowing the patient to perceive what is happening in a more balanced, realistic and richer in nuances way, without falling into the pessimism that had been paralyzing him/her. This helps to improve self-esteem, so that the person does not assume beforehand that he/she will fail if he/she tries to "connect" with someone.

3. Desensitization to fear of rejection

Many people who have this kind of problem feel an emotional disconnection with the people around them because they do not dare to open up to them, fearing that others will take advantage of their vulnerabilities. That is to say, that part of what happens has to do with self-sabotageThe person decides to give up the possibility of having meaningful relationships and connecting affectively with others because of the painful experiences he/she has lived through with his/her family, in order to avoid something similar happening.

To resolve this kind of discomfort, psychologists guide these people in the process of testing these closer relationships with others, so that they can gradually see that it is not necessary to remain in this extremely defensive attitude.

Are you looking for professional psychological assistance?

If you are interested in psychological assistance, please contact us.

At Psicoconsulting we help both individuals and companies to address problems such as conflict management, stress and anxiety regulation, lack of work performance due to bad habits, low self-esteem, and more. We offer face-to-face sessions in Barcelona, and also through the online modality by video call.