Personal relationships... in the times of Facebook

How have the different applications and social networks changed the way we relate to each other?

The millennial generation or "millenials" is the generation that groups young people born between 1981 and 1995 who became adults at the turn of the millennium, those of us who today are young adults who are very different from the young people of the generations that preceded us.

According to information from INEGI (National Institute of Statistics and Geography) in 1990, a total of 19 million Mexicans were between the ages of 20 and 34, while in the last census, in 2010, the population between the ages of 20 and 34 reached a total of 27 million people. With these figures, there is no doubt that today, in Mexico, it is the young people who have the greatest participation, politically, culturally and socially.

Millenials: a generation with its lights and shadows

And no, it is not that we are more rebellious than the youth of the 80's or that we have more ideals than the generation of the 60's; it is simply that we were born in an era with different characteristics, especially in terms of the technological and media environment. we were born in an era with different characteristics, especially in terms of the technological and media environment.. We were baptized by the Internet and everything that surrounds it. Today we are just a click (and a good internet connection) away from knowing the whole world.

Internet and social networks and the changes in communication

The emergence and rise of the Internet, as well as the various related technological advances, make talk of social networks, search engines, applications and "the cloud" are everyday terms for young people today, who undoubtedly use daily expressions such as "you google it", we "whatsappeamos" or "you left me on sight".

The Internet has permeated our daily lives, from the way we get jobs (it is common to hear of online job offers where the only contact is through email exchanges), to how we keep in touch with our friends (we no longer spend hours glued to the landline phone as it is easier to send an instant message with photo and video).

The Internet has also changed the way we consume. Activities as basic as going to the supermarket have started to become obsolete, since it is no longer necessary to wait in line or go through the hustle and bustle of the crowd because we can shop from our computer or tablet. Talking about the impact that the Internet has had on our lives would take more than one article; however, we can highlight one aspect that has been transformed thanks to the Internet: the way in which "millennials" establish social relationships.

Before addressing this controversial topic, I must clarify that the feeling is not modified, that is, love is love, friendship is friendship and even the feeling of rejection towards a person is maintained despite technological advances. However, what does change are the places, the processes through which we establish personal relationships and even the temporality with which these are established and the new dimension that is born of this new technological and cultural paradigm.

Social networks as scenarios

Today we establish links in social networks, applications and through videoconferencing, because it is easier to deal with a topic in a new way.It is easier to discuss a topic of interest in a WhatsApp group than to bring together the 25 contacts to whom you are sending the message; you can also keep abreast, whether you want to or not, of what your contacts are doing without the need to talk to them. If you really need to talk to your friend who lives several kilometers away from your city, it can be solved with a coffee by videoconference, even it is no longer necessary to imagine moments, a photo on your wall can bring you closer to the experience; and if that is the intention of social networks, to keep in touch.

This means that social networks as a scenario only motivate us to take our personal relationships to another planeThis means that social networks as a scenario only motivate us to take our personal relationships to another plane, just to make them easier, even if we lose certain levels of privacy and intimacy along the way. Through the exchange of "inbox" or thanks to video calls on "Skype" we enjoy the possibility of connecting immediately with friends who live far away. The above situation can be explained by answering a simple question: most of our contacts, for example on Facebook, are they people we know outside the virtual world; our best friend, family members or even our partner.

At this point, social networks fulfill their function, they make it easier for us to be in contact, the essence of relationships is the same, I am friends with someone, I have a relationship with someone, I dislike someone, etc. What changes is that now we take it to the virtual plane to stay closer.

The scope of social networks

Social networks (be it Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Skype, WhatsApp or any other) like the "6 degrees of separation" hypothesis (taken up by Milgram in 1967) arise with the idea that we are a few people away from knowing the whole world. This could be exemplified by the idea that each person has an acquaintance, and this acquaintance, in turn, knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows us. A very real idea that makes us aware that the world is a small world.

Although we are not six people away from knowing everyone, thanks to social networks we are a little closer, since we can be in contact with acquaintances of our acquaintances, but we can also meet people with our same interests even without knowing how they are, if we "like" the same pages we are already connected. It is also notorious the ease with which we can establish contact with people that perhaps we thought it was impossible, we are only a "follow" away from our favorite writer, singer, commentator, artist or person.

Social networks catapult us into the world.To the extent that we can post a photo and in less than two seconds someone on the other side of the planet can be "liking" it. This makes it common to learn about cultural customs of other countries thanks to a video that someone shared, or that it is increasingly common for young people to have long-distance love relationships.

This way of establishing virtual relationships thanks to the reach of social networks leads us to learn about the new processes through which a link is developed, even if it is by means of a smartphone or a computer, and with the limitations that this support entails.

Social networks and new interaction processes

Now it is time to move on to the most interesting part of the article, analyzing the impact that virtual life has had on our lives. This influence is not only reflected in the way we talk or write; it has undoubtedly changed the way we relate to each other, as we can be part of different groups without even knowing their members. If we have a common taste we are already connected, even if we don't like the idea, and I'm referring to the typical: "You don't know me but I added you because I liked your profile picture".

A tool to lose the embarrassment of meeting other people?

It is no longer necessary to go through the whole ritual of meeting, chatting once, going out again, and realizing the things you have in common, because with this contact's profile you already know many relevant aspects of their life. with this contact's profile you already know about many relevant aspects of his or her life.. This makes it easier to know whether or not you like the person before you meet them in person, or at least you can better assess whether it is worth trying to get to know them better.

What's more: it is no longer necessary to think "Is she interested in me as a friend or something else?", you are just a "match" away from meeting your ideal partner, and although it sounds like a joke, this is due to the emergence of applications of this type, which in seconds match you with a person, either because she likes the same things you like, because you live nearby, or because you are both looking for a partner. There are even apps that put you in contact with people who are physically close... who said fear?

The good and bad of social networks

Don't get me wrong: social networks are neither good nor bad in and of themselves. We tend to talk about their shortcomings, but they also have their positive side. For example, they save you a lot of horrible dates, because before you go out with someone you look at their profile and get an idea of who they are; they also give you the chance to meet many people from different places, or so close to you that you didn't even know they existed.

But it is also worth reflecting on the problems that social networks cause. We have all noticed how the profile pictures of some contacts do not correspond very well with their real-life attractiveness. Another small problem is that we tend to delegate some positive communicative intentions, such as compliments, in a simple like to a profile picture: it's more comfortable. We now know that someone is interested in you if they don't leave you "seen" in the WhatsApp conversation, and that it's more important for your partner to change their Facebook status from "single" to "in a relationship" than to receive a bouquet of roses with a dedication.

Tinder: the ultimate dating app?

Tindermy favorite app, and no, not because I use it, but because it is a reflection of the impact of social networks on our relationships.

We log in with a profile that we build based on our tastes, indicating the place where we live and adding a description of ourselves, taking into account that we can not have a single photo because this application links us to Facebook photos, all photos, those we uploaded and those in which we were tagged; (be careful, very careful).

Afterwards, the application, thanks to a "magical" process, puts us in contact with people who are close to us, in the same country and region, in the same country and region.in the same country and region, so you can "flirt" anywhere. This app allows you to discard or "like" any profile that appears. If you are picky when it comes to finding a partner, you don't have to worry because there are hundreds of thousands of profiles, you may like some of them. We get to the strong part of the process, the "match", which means that a profile liked you and you also liked it. If you get a "match" you can start a conversation with the profile and after this point everything depends on you, and that person with whom you converse.

Tinder would be the friend who introduces you to the people you like at the party, but without having to get the invitation to the party. It has another advantage: you don't have to choose what to wear and, more importantly, you can discover hundreds of people without leaving the place where you are and quickly.