Responsibility to be able to change

If we do not take responsibility for what we do, we will not be able to boost our personal development.

Taking responsibility for our actions is one of the first steps in the process of change.. A person will hardly be able to advance in the improvement or solution of some of his problems without having clear his responsibility, without assuming his capacity to respond on what he does, feels and even thinks.

The importance of responsibility in personal development

People have a great capacity for change and adaptation to new ways of thinking, feeling and acting, and good proof of this are the variations in these aspects that have occurred throughout the life of each one.

However, if we do not take responsibility for our actions and we resort to either "throwing our hands up in the air" or to the well-worn "that's just the way I am", which limit the path towards change, progress or a change in habits becomes very difficult.

Also at the personal level, from childhood to old age, there are substantial changes that go hand in hand with substantial changes that go hand in hand with the awareness that we can act and influence things, situations and our own way of living.situations and our own way of acting.

It is curious to observe how children's perception of things changes; initially, events just happen, and little by little the child realizes that he makes them happen, he is responsible for throwing a glass, for bringing him food, for demanding attention, for making a toy work etc.

As he has more experiences with people and the environment his ability to do and choose what he does increases. It is therefore not surprising that immaturity is often equated with a lack of responsibility..

The freedom to choose

Responsibility has a fundamental and seldom underlined prerequisite or antecedent. Freedom of choice.

The idea can be summarized as: I am responsible for what I choose because I could have chosen something else; the verb to choose implies responsibility and I cannot but be responsible for my own life and for most of the things I do to build it".

Responsibility is not an obligation, it is to answer for what one has done.. The fact that someone else has indicated, suggested and even ordered me does not eliminate my freedom to choose and decide. The freedom to choose is experienced as something pleasant and pleasurable, but I may feel guilty about what I have chosen, and I may feel guilty about having to respond to that choice, since most choices have consequences; negative, positive, or both. Responsibility does not deny the influence of different factors or variables in our behavior, what it underlines is the ability, sometimes with great effort, to choose in spite of those factors.

To want or pretend that someone else is in charge of our choices is to want to continue living like a child so that others can choose for us. However, we cannot escape the idea that we are free and therefore responsible for everything we do.

It doesn't matter if we blame the laws, the environment, our surroundings, our education, what we are told or influenced to do.. We make choices in every moment of our actions, even if some choices are as quick and automatic as the behaviors we perform when we drive or feel joyful at a pleasant encounter with a family member or friend.

Self-limitations are choices. We are autonomous and set our own rules. I can change my choices because I am free. There are choices that open and others that close; I can choose to change what I do not like, I can choose to stay in a habit that hurts me, I can choose to behave as a victim, I can change the way I relate to others.

To be free is to choose to do only being limited by my capacity and physical condition. Everything else depends on my choice.

Conclusion

Responsibility is the most important part of your commitment to a future without maladaptive behavior.. It involves standing up, acknowledging what we have done or failed to do, accepting our strengths and limitations, and moving forward. It has nothing to do with guilt but with acceptance and personal growth.

If you dare to take responsibility and change certain behaviors and beliefs, it may be a good time to start psychological therapy, but, remember, responsibility does not imply guilt. Guilt anchors us in the past, we whip ourselves with something that has been done and this paralyzes us, that is to say, it is useless and limited.In other words, it is useless and limiting; however, responsibility makes us assume our actions and, regarding what happens to us, assume the part that depends on us, an essential factor for the success of psychological therapy.

Author: Marta Marín, psychologist in Mariva Psicólogos