Siblings in diversity

When dealing with children with diversity, we must not forget how their siblings perceive the situation.

When we talk about diversity, the reality is that as a general rule we focus on the child as the protagonist, on his or her rights, abilities, skills and what he or she needs to be recognized by the environment, by society.We focus on their rights, their abilities, their skills and what they need to be recognized by their environment, by society.

We also focus on their parents, on the process and the path they go through when they receive the news, on the need for accompaniment, on the need to form a tribe with other families to share experiences and experiences. In the struggle they go through in all areas to feel that their son or daughter will be well tomorrow. But there is a fundamental part of the family that should be talked about more and contemplated more. The siblings.

It is true that more and more Associations and Foundations, Entities, take into account this indispensable member of the family. They organize meetings, trainings and places to get to know other realities, share and recognize each other. They express the benefits of these meetings.

In this article, we want to to take into account the brothers and sisters who live together in diversity and to give answer to some important aspects that happen inside the family nucleus.

Siblings living together in diversity

A sibling, by definition, is one of the most important bonds that we have within the family nucleus. As a general rule, a strong bond is created with our sibling. He/she is our equal and at the same time he/she can be our greatest protector or the person we cannot help but feel we have to look after..

A sibling in diversity may be confused by all these emotions, because he/she does not understand the situation in the family. Feeling that his/her sibling is not like him/herself in some ways, can produce doubts and uncertainty.. Not understanding why times are different for one or the other. They may even feel jealous because of the greater need for care that their sibling with diversity has.

Faced with all these emotions, the family must try to keep in mind and respond to all possible situations that may arise. and respond to all possible situations that may arise over time, but especially in the first stage of their development, and thus ensure a climate of trust and confidence.and thus ensure a climate of trust, dialogue and connection.

Here we suggest some tips to keep in mind to be able to accompany the sibling in this process through which they, too, go through.

1. Answering all the questions that arise is perhaps the most important thing.

It is necessary to adapt to their level of maturity to be able to do so and adjust the information so that it is understandable.

2. Acknowledge together our own limitations

Perhaps, at certain times we do not have the answer to the concern they raise, and in those moments we must also explain that there are things we do not know about health, the future, etc. explain also that there are things we do not know about health, the future, etc..

3. Do not give up quality time together.

Sometimes, the siblings' leisure/attention time is reduced due to therapies, sessions or care of the sibling with diversity. This aspect is very important to take into account, and in order to to compensate for these timesIn order to compensate for these times, we can propose moments of exclusive care for the sibling, special family activities or leisure alternatives that can fit into the family dynamics.

4. Recognize that jealousy may arise

We must also recognize the possible appearance of jealousy, occasional overprotection or dedication towards the sibling with diversity.. In this sense, it is necessary to:

• Recognize the emotions of the sibling, validate them and offer the opportunity to express what he/she feels.
• Listen to what he/she needs and give an adjusted and consensual response to his/her requests.
• In many cases, proposing moments of exclusivity with them can be a good option (for example, while the sibling is in therapy).
• We can also propose that they invite their friends from school to their home to share leisure time, in a way that is adjusted to the reality of the family.

5. Adapt to their pace of development

We should Avoid overloading the sibling with responsibilities that do not correspond to his/her age or maturity or vital moment.. He/she is a child or adolescent and as such should follow a lifestyle appropriate to his/her age.

6. Recognizing progress

And last, but perhaps most important, is to value and recognize the giving value and recognizing the achievements they make.

Sometimes, we can fall, without realizing it, in the recognition of the achievements of children with diversity and not give so much value to those achieved by the sibling.

Author: Irene de la Granja Muñoz, Teacher in Special Education and Master in Psychopedagogy.