Smiling depression: not all is as it seems

Let's see what this type of depression that remains hidden behind a mask of normality is all about.

If you were asked to describe a happy person, how would you do it? Surely, it would happen to you like me, and you would answer that someone who is constantly smiling, who has a very active social life (and shares it on different social networks), who always has optimistic phrases for everyone, who probably has a partner and many hobbies. In conclusion, a person who enjoys his life.

But what if these behaviors are just a "facade", can we be sure that they are really happy by the things they post on their social networks or by what we perceive? As the title of the article says, "Not everything is what it seems".

The same is true for depression. When we think of a depressed person, we imagine someone with the following characteristics: deep sadness, frequent crying, no energy or motivation for activities, sleeping a lot and suicidal thoughts. And this is often the case, but in this article I want to focus on another side of this pathology, less known and very dangerous: the smiling depression.

What is smiling depression?

We can define it as a term used to designate people who outwardly appear to be happy, but who are not people who outwardly appear happy, and often share it in their social networks, but inwardly live with a persistent emptiness, sadness, hopelessness, and despair.. On the inside, they have depression.

They may strive to maintain a happy lifestyle because they believe it will make them feel better, or they may do it so as not to worry other people. I have also met people who do it as a habit, automatically. They are functional people, who at first glance, their depression has not deteriorated any area of their life.

This term is not recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), and it is probably diagnosed as a Major Depressive Disorder with atypical characteristics, because the depression is experienced in a hidden way, without externalizing the symptoms of your low mood..

Does it have specific symptoms?

Depression presents itself differently in each person. In the case of smiling depression, they may have sadness, feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, decreased pleasure or interest in all or most activities most of the day, almost every day.

There may be agitation or sluggishness, fatigue or loss of energy, feelings of worthlessness, or excessive or inappropriate guilt.. There may even be a decrease in the ability to think, concentrate and make decisions.

The difference in smiling depression is that these symptoms would be absent or almost absent in public. This would prevent people around you from suspecting that you are suffering from depression. However, there are some recognized symptoms that may be present and give us "clues" that we may be suffering from depression. that we may be suffering from depression:

• Increased appetite and weight gain.
• Hypersomnia (sleeping many hours) and continuing to feel sleepy during the day.
• Feeling of heaviness in arms and legs (intermittent sensation during the day).
• Special susceptibility to rejection and criticism, which would directly affect interpersonal relationships.
• Feeling a temporary improvement in mood due to good news, but then feeling the discomfort again.
• Difficulty identifying and maintaining their emotions. When asked, they often respond that they feel fine.
• Presents the thought that showing signs of deep sadness is a sign of weakness.

Difficulty in diagnosis and risks

The fact that the symptoms are masked and that the person shows a false happiness, makes it difficult to identify that they are depressed. We meet people who, apparently, have no reason to be sad, may have an idyllic life, and may have a very happy life..... This can happen in adolescents, young people and adults.

What aggravates this pathology is that affected people take much longer to seek support because they do not recognize the disease, and having difficulty identifying their emotions, having an emotional blockage, makes the work at the psychological level more complicated.

It is important to point out that living pretending that nothing is wrong, repressing the discomfort, requires a high emotional, physical and energetic cost, which is aggravated with time.This cost is aggravated over time, until it becomes "unbearable". And it is here when suicidal thoughts appear, which in smiling depression are associated with a higher risk, since by maintaining the energy level high it is more likely to be carried out.

We have all heard of a case of a person who commits suicide and family and friends had not seen "signs" of depression, quite the contrary. A well-known example is the case of the actor and comedian Robin Williams, whose death and diagnosis of depression surprised many people.

Important considerations.

People who find it difficult to talk about their problems and have an emotional block that prevents them from externalizing their feelings are more likely to suffer from a smiling depression.. They tend to be perfectionists, with a great sense of demand and responsibility, which leads them to have the need to control everything around them, taking care of "fixing" everything, without asking for help or recognizing their limits.

Treatment

Like all depression, has treatments that include medication and psychotherapyto promote emotional, thinking and lifestyle changes.

Psychological therapy will be focused on accepting the situation, learning to recognize and express your emotions, using tools and techniques to adequately cope with your mood and resolve conflicts that arise in your daily life. Cognitive-behavioral therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy have been scientifically proven to be effective.

It is very important that you trust the professional you choose, that you establish a therapeutic bond with him/her.It is very important that you establish a safe therapeutic bond, that you feel that they respect you, understand you and that they can accompany you in the process you are about to start. This is fundamental for the therapy to be successful.

When to ask for psychological help?

If you feel that you have everything you have ever wanted or desired, and that you should be happy, but you feel an emptiness that you cannot explain, and you find it hard to express your emotions, and you force yourself to go on with your life, repressing your feelings and acting as if you were happy... you may be suffering from depression.

If when you are with other people you are fine, but when you are alone you feel empty or sad, you can't stop eating even if you are not hungry... you may also be suffering from depression.

It is not enough to take medication. I recommend that you make an appointment with a mental health professional, who will interview you and help you identify if you have depression and how you can treat it. Don't downplay these feelingsYou don't have to "settle" for survival, you deserve to live your life to the fullest. Depression is treatable, you just need to take the step to open up and seek help virtually or in person.