Social skills, emotional intelligence and self-esteem

How do emotional intelligence, self-esteem and social relationships relate to each other?

From the moment we are born, the social component is integrated into our daily lives.

The first interactions occur with the mother in the womb, and once birth occurs, these will occur mainly through the skin. The main attachment figures are the first context in which social skills will be developed and shaped, starting with the glances between parents and children.The primary attachment figures are the first context in which social skills will be developed and shaped, starting with parent-infant glances, smiles, vocalizations and words. Later, school will become another major context for the development of these skills.

The emergence of social skills

It is important to highlight the importance of the cultural and social framework and the temperamental characteristics of the individual, which will determine whether two people behave differently in the same situation.

Social skills could be described as a person's ability to relate to others through effective communication. Among these we would find qualities such as: greeting when we arrive at a place, assertiveness, inference of others' states, expression of feelings, thoughts, opinions and desires, and orientation towards conflict resolution.

Through social behaviors the individual becomes aware of the limits, which in the future will favor his or her ability to self-regulate.. The ability to regulate our behavior and emotions is a fundamental part of what we know as emotional intelligence; therefore, social skills are closely related to this, and this, in turn, to self-esteem. On the other hand, deficits in social skills are related to psychopathological disorders, such as anxiety disorders and mood disorders.

Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to perceive, identify and manage one's own and others' emotional states..

Goleman (1995) divides emotional intelligence into two: intrapersonal and interpersonal emotional intelligence. In the intrapersonal, we find emotional self-awareness, and the ability to communicate with oneself to regulate one's own emotional states. This positively affects our self-confidence and self-confidence. Interpersonal would include social skills and empathy, with the objective of recognizing and managing the emotions of others, which is related to charismatic people who are eager to lead.

As we can see, in emotional intelligence, expression and language management are important, used to regulate internal and external states.. Possessing good emotional intelligence fosters the ability to build healthy relationships with others, which greatly influences our self-esteem.

Self-esteem

Self-esteem is a concept heard very frequently on a daily basis, but what is it? It refers to the feelings of worth that a person has towards him/herself.. These feelings are stable over time, and remain throughout different situations.

It is common to confuse high self-esteem with narcissism: an inflated self-image, characterized by feelings of superiority, which is unrealistic, but unstable and fragile. Healthy self-esteem incorporates awareness of one's limits, authenticity, recognition of mistakes and virtues, and self-acceptance..

How do these psychological elements interact?

These three concepts are interrelated. Without the development of sufficient social skills, our emotional intelligence would be diminished, as well as our self-esteem, since it is affected, in part, by interactions with other people, where we find direct or indirect feedback about us, which shapes our self-concept.

Through interaction with our environment we increase our knowledge about ourselves.The ability to reflect on our behaviors and states, and the capacity to manage, modify and adjust our emotions and attitudes to the demands of the environment.

People with more empathy (quality of emotional intelligence) are better able to perceive the emotions of others (characteristic of social skills), which makes them more socially accepted and positively evaluated.

Fostering these qualities from childhood is essential for children to have an optimal psychological, social and even academic development, which will favor, in the future, the adaptation to multiple situations, and the confrontation of these, in a proactive and resolute way.