The 10 basic communication skills

Your communication skills say a lot about who you are. Do you dare to improve them?

The communication skills We need to communicate well at work, with our friends, our family, and in general with everyone around us. Knowing and mastering basic communication skills brings many benefits, such as helping to resolve differences or promoting trust and mutual respect.

For example, it is essential to have good communication skills when we face a job interview or if we live as a couple, since living together is a constant negotiation. Although communicating seems simple, much of what we communicate is misinterpreted or misunderstood. Of course, this can cause conflicts in both our professional and personal relationships.

Communication skills and their relationship to emotional balance.

Learning to communicate effectively is a skill that should be part of the school curriculum.. Being a competent communicator can make a difference in personal relationships, in the success of your professional career and, in addition, in your self-esteem and self-confidence, because it is part of the elementary social skills.

The relationship between emotional balance and communication skills has been demonstrated in a multitude of research, and, in fact, its training is a therapeutic technique used in psychologists' offices because it brings benefits to the patient's well-being.

On the other hand, it has been demonstrated that the quality of life of human beings is closely related to their ability to socialize with other members of their species.The degree to which we manage to create alliances and establish stable bonds has a great influence on our ability to be happy. And this aspect of life has to do with communication skills, both at the interpersonal, group and even institutional level.

The 10 most important communication skills (and how to train them)

If there is one thing that characterizes the happiest people, it is that they have communication skills that help them to deal more satisfactorily with the different situations that arise in their daily lives. Don't be discouraged if you have difficulty communicating because no one is born an expert.. Communication, like other skills, can be learned and practiced.

So read on to find out what the basic communication skills are.

1. Active listening

Listening is a basic communication skill, but, although it may seem simple, not everyone has this ability.. Many times we only hear instead of listening, and sometimes we listen to ourselves instead of listening to the other person with the right attitude. The active listeningActive listening, as its name suggests, means listening actively, that is, with full attention. In other words, we must pay attention with all five senses.

Active listening refers to paying attention not only to what the person says, but also to the feelings, ideas or thoughts that the individual expresses.

• If you want to go deeper into this topic, you can take a look at our article: "Active listening: the key to communicate with others".

2. Empathy

In effective communication, empathy is important to put oneself in the other person's place. In fact, empathy is one of the most important social skills, because it is necessary to get along with others. Even if you do not fully agree with a co-worker, an employee or a friend, you need to understand his point of view, because he also has his needs, you need to understand their point of view, because they have their needs too.. In addition, putting yourself in the other person's shoes helps you to send a clearer and more effective message.

3. Emotional validation

In addition to the two previous points, emotional validation must also be taken into account, i.e., acceptance and feedback to communicate better. Because when we have others in front of us, it is necessary to listen without judging and it is a prerequisite to communicate to the other person that he/she has been understood.

Emotional validation improves communication because the other interlocutor feels recognized and understood, and thus increases the verbalization of the message.and thus increases the verbalization of what he/she thinks. Emotional validation has a positive effect by creating an atmosphere of trust. Telling the other person that you have understood him/her, showing that you have been listening to him/her and making it clear that you respect his/her opinion are enough to create a conducive communicative environment.

4. Non-verbal language

Body posture, eye contact or gestures, i.e. non-verbal language (or non-verbal communication) also communicate. Being relaxed and conveying what we are trying to say can maximize the message we want to send to others. A study conducted by Albert Mehrabian states that in a face-to-face conversation, the verbal component is 35% and more than 65% is nonverbal communication.. In Mehrabian's own words: "The verbal component is used to communicate information and the non-verbal component is used to communicate personal states and attitudes".

5. Conflict resolution and negotiation

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, and learning how to manage it and negotiate is a healthy and essential way to make relationships work.. Some individuals prefer not to face conflicts to avoid the discomfort they can generate. This only leads to resentment and misunderstandings.

The ability to resolve conflicts efficiently requires acting in a calm, non-defensive and respectful manner. When one controls one's emotions, it is possible to communicate one's opinions without threatening or attacking others.

6. Verbal language

One of the basic elements of a good communicator is how he or she sounds to others. Speaking too softly or too loudly, slurring words, or using too many filler words such as "ah", "uh" or "um" can cause the message and the connection with the speaker to be lost.

Therefore, it is necessary to be clear, use concrete examples, have a good capacity for improvisation, vocalize correctly, consider the tenses, and ultimately express correctly what we have in mind to connect with our interlocutor.In short, it is necessary to express correctly what we have in mind in order to connect with our interlocutor.

7. Reading and writing

Reading and writing are important to communicate. Reading enables intellectual development and, as a cognitive function, allows access to technological, scientific and information advances. Therefore, it helps us to better understand reality, and being regular readers gives us the necessary tools to be able to engage in critical dialogue.

Regarding writing, we do not always have to communicate orally, but it is important to have a good command of written communication. Nowadays, new information and communication technologies (ICT) have burst into our lives. Writing a cover letter to seduce a recruiter if we want a job or sending an email to a company to complain about their service requires this skill.

8. Respect

People are more open to communicate if we show respect for them and their ideas.. Simple actions such as using their name or using the first name, having eye contact that indicates sincerity, and reflecting active listening make the other person feel respected and taken into consideration. In a couple's relationship, for example, a nice gesture or sign of affection can almost instantly stop a tense and negative situation and put the relationship back on a good track for positive and affectionate communication.

9. Persuasion

Persuasion is a key communication tool, especially in the business world, because it transforms ideas, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors, and attempts to satisfy the needs of both parties. It often gets a bad rap because it can be mistakenly confused with manipulation (doing something against your interests). Persuasion is the basis of any successful negotiation..

10. Credibility

If we think about the previous point, it is impossible to persuade an audience if you do not demonstrate credibility and authority.. Credibility generates trust, and, as with respect, trust is a great ally of communication. People are more receptive when there is trust. Therefore, you need to be consistent in what you say and what you do. For example, there must be harmony between your verbal and non-verbal communication.

Are you interested in enhancing your ability to communicate fluently and efficiently?

Communication skills can be trained and enhanced through experience, especially if we have specialized professional support in this area. That is why, psychological assistance is a very good option to enhance the main skills that have to do with communication, as well as other social skills.as well as other social skills. Through psychotherapy, aspects such as the management of social anxiety, the development of active listening, the modulation of nonverbal language, the search for consensus in conflict situations, etc. are addressed.

Bibliographical references:

• Cialdini, R. B., Cacioppo, J. T., Bassett, R., & Miller, J. A. (1978). Low-ball procedure for producing compliance: commitment then cost. Journal of personality and Social Psychology, 36(5), 463.
• Rivas, M. & López, M. (2012). Social and organizational psychology. Manual CEDE de Preparación PIR, 11. CEDE. Madrid.
• Rojas, D. (1994). Técnicas de comunicación ejecutiva. McGraw-Hill Interamericana.
• Vacharkulksemsuk, T. (2016). Dominant, open nonverbal displays are attractive at zero-acquaintance. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 113(15): pp. 4009 - 4014.