The 10 keys to deal with emotional pain

A practical guide to restore our emotional balance.

In recent years, research has shown that the regions involved in processing physical Pain are the same as those the regions involved in processing physical pain are the same as those involved in emotional pain and social distress.. 

This seems to indicate that emotional pain involves great suffering for the person who suffers from it. Rejection by a partner or sudden changes in life, among other situations, can trigger us to break with the present, the result of a great emotional burden that can sink us. Therefore, emotional pain can cause us serious problems in our day to day life.

The emotional pain that each individual suffers is different.

Each person feels emotional pain in his or her own way, and as I have already said, it can be caused by different phenomena: a breakup with a partner, a change of city, being fired from a job, etc. Whatever the reason, it is usually caused by not knowing how to manage the change of life and not having the necessary resources to cope with the new situation.. And of course, as everyone deals with the situation in their own way, some people may tell themselves that this pain is justified, without facing it. Others, on the other hand, take it seriously and try to get out of the situation they are in as soon as possible.

Experience often makes us see emotional pain as part of learning for life, but what is the best way to overcome emotional pain? Below you can learn ten ways to overcome emotional pain.

1. Recognize the pain you are feeling.

The first step to change is to recognize what is happening to you. Society puts so much pressure on us that we have come to believe that emotional pain only happens to weak people. That is false, emotional pain is part of life. Some individuals will try to get problems out of the way without facing reality, something that only masks the emotional suffering, because, in reality, it will still be there. Therefore, recognizing emotional pain is necessary to move forward.

2. Be affectionate with yourself

In several articles we have already talked about the benefits of loving yourself, because it makes you a much more prepared person to face problems. And loving yourself means that you treat yourself with affection and that you understand that you are not perfect. In fact, perfectionist people suffer great emotional pain. Being loving to yourself is the second step to overcoming emotional pain.

3. Be honest with yourself and others

Being honest with yourself and acknowledging that you have intense emotional pain that affects your well-being may not be enough. Sometimes you will also need the support of the people around you, you will also need the support of the people around you.. Emotional pain, when it has not been overcome, can trigger behaviors that others may not understand. Therefore, it can be good to share your feelings with the people closest to you. They will support you and understand you so that you can get over this situation as soon as possible.

4. It is normal for some people to misunderstand you

Some people may not understand your feelings or why you are suffering. Generally, sensitive people or people who have been through similar situations are more knowledgeable.. Don't worry, this is also normal. Emotional intelligence is a skill that not everyone masters and, in addition, there are people who are not as emotionally mature. But don't worry, there will surely be empathetic people who will know how to put themselves in your shoes.

5. Treasure those who understand you and love you unconditionally.

These painful situations can have their positive side. One of them is that you really become aware of the people who are worth preserving.. So, in those bad times, recognize your true friends and keep them. Because if you need them in the future, they will still be there for you.

6. When you are ready, take the time to find out the reason for the pain.

You have already acknowledged that you have emotional pain and that it is normal, so you have accepted it and treat yourself with love. You have people around you who love you and will be there for you. Now you need to know exactly what is causing your emotional pain.. If it has a solution, do what you can to remedy it.

7. If you can't do anything about it, accept it and keep loving yourself more than ever.

But what is causing you emotional pain will not always be remedied, and those are the most difficult situations to overcome. Even so, if it is not within your reach to remedy it, you must accept things as they are in order to continue loving yourself.. Remember that, in the most complicated moments, you must practice the self-compassion. This seems simple but it is not easy. Mindfulness can help in these cases.

8. Overcoming it requires self-will

As I mentioned in the previous point treating oneself with affection requires willingness. Some crises can mark our existence and our life, which can cause us to feel that there is a before and after these bitter or painful situations. But, even though these are hard times, we must learn the lessons from these stages of growth. This requires willpower.

9. Take control of your life

When you are going through a bad stage, you tend to believe that everything bad happens to you. You may also think that you are worthless. Let go of these negative thoughts that destroy you and take control of your life. Empower yourself in the day to day. Do activities that you like to do and that you may have abandoned and, in addition, look for realistic goals and strive for them. Only in this way will you find meaning in your life.

10. If you cannot overcome it alone, go to a psychologist.

The emotional pain may be the result of a more serious problem, such as depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Therefore, you may need to see a psychologist to guide you and help you out of this situation that is causing you great emotional pain. But remember, you are the one who has to overcome it, and the psychologist will only provide you with the tools you need to do so.