The 3 Most Important Theories of Love

A summary of the most influential love theories in the field of Psychology.

Love is undoubtedly one of the most intense and complex feelings that human beings can experience throughout their lives.

So much so, that there are many psychological theories that have been proposed to try to explain it, and yet it remains a concept that is still difficult to define or reduce to a series of theoretical explanations. Even so, we are going to a review of some of the most interesting theories of love..

Psychological models to explain love

In order to talk about the different theories of love, we should first try to introduce this term, knowing the enormous complication involved in this task, since we have already mentioned that it is one of the most complex and exciting phenomena that human beings can experience.

However, love admits as many definitions as there are perspectives, love admits as many definitions as we have perspectives on it.. For example, according to evolutionary psychology, love is a mechanism by which individuals who are related to each other as parent and child ensure mutual support that increases the probability of survival.

Obviously, this is a much cooler view than what we are used to. Before we dive into the theories of love, let's look at a few more definitions. Biology affirms that there are three impulses in human beings that make up this feeling, and they are attachment, libido and mate choice.

In addition, this field of knowledge points us to the chemical components behind the sensations of love, in the form of neurotransmitters, hormones and neuropeptides.. Some of them are as well known as oxytocin, dopamine, testosterone or estrogens.

Likewise, at a structural level, there are several parts of the nervous system that would be involved in these impulses that biology, as a promoter of one of the theories of love, points out to us. One of the most important is the limbic system, or paleomammalian cortex.

On the other hand, brain imaging studies show that the medial insula and the anterior cingulate cortex are regions involved in what we experience as a feeling of love.. They are not the only ones; activity was also found in the fusiform regions and the angular gyri of both hemispheres.

These are just some of the different approaches that can be taken to the theories of love. Other disciplines such as philosophy or anthropology could also offer different approaches to try to appreciate this phenomenon from very varied perspectives.

The main theories of love

We will now try to focus on some of the theories of love, from a psychological point of view. To do so, we will review some of the most important models.

1. Love triangle theory

The love triangle theory is one of the best known love theories in psychology. The creator is the American researcher Robert Sternberg.. What this psychologist proposes is that love is made up of three categories, which are the ones that make up the triangle that gives the model its name. These categories are intimacy, passion and commitment.

Each of the elements has its own characteristics, and the sum of all of them is what gives rise to love. Intimacy, for example, refers to the desire to experience closeness with the other person, mutually enjoying each other's company, so that the bond between the two becomes stronger.The other person, mutually enjoying each other's company, so that the bond between the two of you becomes stronger.

On the other hand, passion would refer to the arousal, either physical or emotional, that can arise between two individuals.. Moreover, this condition can even cloud the reason of the person experiencing it, leading him to perform behaviors that could pose a risk to himself or others.

Finally, the element of commitment refers to the desire to stay together with the other person, because of the satisfaction experienced by sharing a relationship with him/her.. According to Sternberg, the author of the first of the theories of love that we are going to review, the sum of the intensity of the components will determine the total intensity of the feeling of love experienced.

But not only that, but the element that is the most powerful of the three will be the one that dictates what kind of love the person in question is feeling. Therefore, the possibilities, according to the vertex of the triangle that stands out, will be that of intimate or warm love, if intimacy predominates, passionate love, if passion predominates, or committed love, if commitment predominates.

Likewise, depending on the presence of none, some or all of the components, and all their combinations, Stenberg talks in this model about eight different possibilities, ranging from non-love to consummated love, and synthesizing the different modalities in which a person can love.

2. Theory of the color wheel

The second of the theories of love that we have to know is the color wheel theory. In this case, the author is John Alan Lee, a psychologist from Canada.. Lee, through a graphic model represented by a wheel (which gives its name to the theory) with a triangle inside, a series of types of love that include three primary, three secondary and nine of a third level.

Those of the first level would begin with eros, which refers to the erotic or sexual component.. This form of love would be of the sensual type, with passion. If this type of love takes precedence, we would be dealing with a bond between two people based on intuition or what is known as a crush.

Another of the first level types of love, according to Lee, is the ludus, a name that refers to the game. In this modality, what stands out is the desire to have a good time. Therefore, it will not stand out for a great bonding but for the satisfaction of ephemeral pleasure.

He will complete the main triad of the theory of love that concerns us, the so-called storge.. In this case, the love to which it refers is of a family nature. In this modality, a great commitment between the components does stand out. A loyalty is forged that is typical of kinship and even of the most important friendships.

After these three types, there are three others, in this case, secondary. The first of these is mania, a term used for some psychopathologies. And, precisely, it refers to that modality of loving that borders on madness. Within the theories of love, this type is the one referred to the obsessive, which establishes an unhealthy dependence.

The next would be agape, and its basis is altruism. It would be the purity of love, a selfless feeling, in which we act so that the other person has the best, without expecting anything in return. The author relates this type to religion.

The last of the secondary types of love is pragma, which corresponds to pragmatic love. This is the most rational type, and is therefore far removed from the more romantic conception of love. The choice of partner, therefore, would be made according to interests and expectations.

Lee concludes his model with nine forms of tertiary love, which in reality are the different possible combinations of all the previous ones. among all the previous ones.

3. Attachment theory

To finish with a tour through the main theories of love, we cannot fail to review the famous attachment theory, one of the most important in evolutionary psychology. This model was promoted by John Bowlby, psychiatrist and expert in psychoanalysis. The key to this theory is the affective bond that is established between two people..

Generally, attachment theory is centered on that bond, referring to a child and his or her caregiver, who would act as the attachment figure. We are talking, therefore, about a type of familial love, such as that generated between a parent and his or her child.

The authors establish a sensitive period, during the first three years of the child's life, which is crucial to be able to establish attachment bonds with reference figures in a correct way. Depending on how this bond has developed, different forms of attachment could be developed. This being one of the theories of love, it is important to know these types.

The first of them would be the optimal, secure attachment, the one in which the child knows that he/she can count on the care of the reference adult and can therefore explore his/her environment.knowing that he/she can come back whenever needed. Anxious attachment is generated when the caregiver has overprotected the child. In ambivalent attachment, the caregiver's response to the child's needs is inconsistent.

Avoidant attachment arises when the caregiver does not meet the child's requirements. Finally, disorganized attachment involves situations of neglect and even maltreatment.

With the attachment model, we complete this tour through the main theories of love.

Bibliographical references:

• Bretherton, I. (1992). The origins of attachment theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Developmental Psychology.
• Lee, J.A. (1973). Colours of love: An exploration of the ways of loving. New Press.
• Sternberg, R.J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological review.