The 4 differences between jealousy and envy

A help to distinguish between envy and jealousy, two different psychological phenomena.

Each and every one of us has dreams, goals and desires that we would like to achieve, as well as things, projects or affections that we would like to obtain or keep if we have them with us.

Such desires often involve a heavy investment of time and resources, and even then they are not always achieved. In this context, sometimes we see how other people do obtain things that we would like to achieve, or we are afraid that they will "take away" what we have achieved.

This can lead to unpleasant and annoying emotions that, although natural, if not managed properly lead to toxic and destructive behaviors: we are talking about envy and jealousy. In both cases we are dealing with unpleasant emotions related to the idea of possession, being similar to each other or even being frequently confused by a large part of the population. But we are not dealing with two synonyms, but with different concepts.

In order to learn to distinguish between them, throughout this article we are going to discuss the main differences between jealousy and envywith explanations on how to distinguish between both phenomena.

Envy and jealousy: two different concepts.

To understand what the concepts envy and jealousy refer to is fundamental in order to be able to distinguish them and to appreciate the existing differences between both. In this sense, it is necessary to make a brief definition of each of them.

Envy is the feeling characterized by a strong sense of discomfort or Pain at the existence or attainment by another person of a goal, characteristic or good that one wants for oneself, regardless of whether or not the other person has made an effort to achieve it.regardless of whether the other person has made an effort to achieve it or not.

It is a strong desire to obtain something that another person has and we do not, causing us anger, bitterness and/or sadness that another person has our object of desire. Sometimes it is considered as such the feeling of admiration as well as the desire to have something that one does not have, which would be "healthy envy", but in general when there is envy there is a tendency to wish that the other person loses that good.

As far as jealousy is concerned, we refer with this name to the feeling of discomfort, anguish and worry. anguish and worry directed towards the possibility of losing to the hands of another person something that is valuable to us and that we consider our own. and that we consider our own.

We can speak of the existence of jealousy towards many different types of elements, such as professional jealousy, but in the area in which it is most often observed in the field of interpersonal relationships.

In this sense, the attention, affection or love of the other person is perceived as something that belongs to the subject, and that someone else can take away. Although most often when we talk about jealousy we associate it with couple relationships, there can also be jealousy between friends or even between family members (e.g. siblings).

Although a certain level of jealousy can be natural, in general its existence tells us about insecurity as well as a perception of possession or belonging of the other or of their attentions and it is not infrequent that there are feelings of inferiority towards the one who has achieved the object of desire.

Main differences between jealousy and envy

Although at first sight jealousy and envy have many similarities between them, the truth is that** they are concepts that present remarkable differences**. Among them, some of the most relevant are the following.

1. Situation with respect to the object of desire

The main and most important difference between jealousy and envy, and the easiest way to distinguish them, is that while jealousy is established with respect to the object of desire, envy is established with respect to the object of desire. envy is established with respect to something that is desired but has never been had or possessed jealousy focuses on the fear of losing something you already have and want to keep.

2. On whom is the emotion focused?

A second difference lies in the object to which the emotion is directed. When envying someone, the attention and discomfort is generated by the person who generates the envy. In jealousy the discomfort does not usually originate from the person (although the relationship usually suffers) but from a situation that triggers suspicion or fear of losing what is dear to them.

3. Possibility vs. certainty

Among the differences between jealousy and envy we can find the level of uncertainty and certainty that we have regarding what generates the emotion.

As a general rule, envy is based on certaintyThe other person has something that one lacks. However, in the case of jealousy, the emotion is generated by uncertainty, by the fear that another person may appear and take away the object of desire or the suspicion of losing what is dear to us.

4. Fear vs. anger

Another of the differences that we can find between jealousy and envy is in the feeling that usually predominates. Generally in jealousy what usually predominates is an intense fear of losing what has been achieved, while envy is much more focused on the fear of losing what is dear to us. envy is much more centered on resentment and rage. that generates that the other has what we want and we do not have. However, we must take into account that in both cases it is likely that there is both fear (of losing or not achieving what we want) and anger (towards the envied person or towards those who can get what we have).