The 5 keys to erotic growth: how to develop one’s sexuality

Several keys to erotic growth, ideas from which to promote sexual self-knowledge.

Although sex is a totally natural aspect of life, this does not mean that the knowledge about this subject comes to us spontaneously, without us having to do anything special to achieve it.

So much so that even those who have been having an active sex life for many years do it in a very limited way, or fall into all kinds of mistakes (theoretical and/or practical) time after time. Of course, the fact that talking about sex is practically forbidden in various social contexts does not help, but even in those situations that lend themselves more to sharing ideas and experiences, it is common to expose ourselves to a large number of myths about sexuality.

That is why it is essential to develop one's sexuality based on more than just "conventional wisdom". The learning process known as erotic growth has to be based on scientific research in the field of sexology.

The 5 keys to boosting one's own erotic growth

The concept of "erotic growth" makes reference to the progressive learning of one's own eroticism and sexuality; therefore, it consists of internalizing knowledge of an eminently practical and emotional character (i.e., that goes beyond the erotic). (i.e., that goes beyond words) and that applies above all to oneself, and not necessarily to all human beings. It is therefore closely related to the processes of self-knowledge.

These are the fundamental ideas that will allow you to take advantage of this process.

1. Stop having as a reference what others do.

Assuming that the best way to enhance one's own erotic growth is to look at what others say or do about their sex lives is limiting oneself too much. In fact, we do not have to assume that the people around us in our daily lives who are not trained in sexology or related sciences know more about sex than we do.

Therefore, we must be clear that although it is necessary to have some general theoretical knowledge, it is not enough to understand our own potential for living sexuality, nor can we obtain it from any source..

2. Under an apparent inability to enjoy sex, there may be many prejudices.

There are many people who assume with great ease that they cannot enjoy sex as most people do. However, in most cases this has to do with psychological limitations, not medical or Biological ones.. This does not mean that they can be overcome overnight (believing that would inevitably lead to frustration), but it is important to keep this in mind in order to get used to leaving the comfort zone.

3. There are no orthodox ways to enjoy sexually

Beyond respect for people's rights, there are no wrong ways to enjoy sexuality. Therefore, it is important to discard the idea that there are wrong ways to enjoy sexuality, It is therefore important to discard the idea that there is a "trunk" way of experiencing sex and that there are deviations from it.Neither science nor the ethical model with which free societies work support this idea.

4. Erotic growth implies knowing oneself psychologically and bodily.

In this process there is no radical separation between the mind and the bodyBoth realities overlap each other and work in unison to give rise to enjoyment, which is a material and immaterial phenomenon at the same time. In the same way that we must go beyond genitality to enhance our own sexual development, we must not forget that the material context that surrounds us greatly influences how we experience sex.

5. It is normal to ask for help

Seeking professional help in the field of sexology and psychotherapy does not imply that we are weak or "broken". or that we are "broken"; it is the most effective and intelligent way to deal with difficulties in this facet of life.

Do you want to learn more about how to develop and know your sexuality better?

Because it is still considered a taboo subject in many areas, the lack of theoretical and practical knowledge about sexuality remains a problem even today. Not only does this cause many people not to take full advantage of the potential for enjoyment and self-knowledge that sex provides, but it even leads to many people suffering unnecessarily because of erroneous beliefs, prejudices and even behaviors that involve health risks.

If you want to boost the development of your own sexuality, the Online Course on Sexuality and Erotic Growth of UPAD Psicología y Coaching may be of interest to you. It is a three-month distance training program (comprising 40 hours of training), aimed at men or women of any sexual orientation, whether they have a partner or not.

It is a proposal based on interactive learning and includes several exercises for monitoring and evaluation; at the end of the course, students obtain a certificate issued by UPAD Psychology and Coaching.

In this course we work on aspects such as sexual communication, the anatomy of pleasure, Sexual Intelligence, emotional skills, myths about sexuality, and more.

To learn more about the course, contact the UPAD Psychology and Coaching team or access their website.

Bibliographical references:

• Balon, R.; Segraves, R.T. eds. (2005). Handbook of Sexual Dysfunction. Milton Park: Taylor & Francis.
• Beck, J.G.; Bozman, A.W.; Qualtrough, T. (1991). The Experience of Sexual Desire: Psychological Correlates in a College Sample. The Journal of Sex Research, 28(3): pp. 443 - 456.
• Bullough, V. L. (1989). The society for the scientific study of sex: A brief history. Mt. Vernon, Iowa: The Foundation for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.