The 5 pillars of self-esteem in adulthood

These are the pillars of self-esteem from which to improve emotional management in adulthood.

Adulthood comes with a large set of responsibilities and complex tasks to face on a daily basis.

These kinds of challenges also include the way in which as adults we must relate to our own emotions. Doing our best to enhance our psychological well-being without being totally dependent on our parents is part of healthy adulthood.

Of course, no one is able to totally control their emotions, but it is possible to gain mastery in the modulation of feelings and affections (oriented towards others and towards oneself). The experience of being an adult helps us to make significant progress once we reach the age of majority, but there are always exceptions and moments of weakness. In this sense, throughout this article, we will review the most important a review of the most important psychological pillars to cultivate a good self-esteem in adulthood..

The main pillars of self-esteem in adults

Self-esteem is not a psychological element that is already given to us and before which we can do nothing. Even if we don't realize it, we are constantly participating in its evolution, since what we do and how we manage our emotions has an impact on how we see and value ourselves.

Of course, the way we influence our self-esteem varies depending on the stages of life we are going through.. For example, being a child, a teenager or an adult has implications for the following aspects of life that shape our interpretation of events:

• What are our values?
• What are our interests?
• How many people do we relate to?
• What degree of autonomy do we have?
• What are our responsibilities?
• Who are our references?
• How many experiences should we incorporate into the concept of "I"?
• What is our capacity for abstract thinking at this stage of life?

This is just a sample of the variables that come into play in the conformation of a person's self-esteem, a self-esteem that also varies with the passing of years or even months. In short, is a complex and unique process in each individualThere are no infallible magic recipes in all cases. However, there are several key ideas or guidelines to keep in mind in order to maintain an adequate level of self-esteem considering the lifestyle associated with adulthood in Western countries. Let's see what they are.

1. Maintaining friendship circles

Many people allow adulthood to go hand in hand with a progressive loss of friends by letting family, domestic and/or professional responsibilities take up all their time and leisure time is based on leisure or individualistic activities. This can have a negative impact on self-esteem, resulting in a poor social life associated with monotony. a poor social life associated with monotony, lack of incentivesThis can have a negative impact on self-esteem, resulting in a poor social life associated with monotony, lack of incentives and a shortage of situations in which to discover new facets of oneself.

2. Do not base everything on social climbing.

Going climbing positions in the amount of income and purchasing power becomes a sort of substitute for real self-esteem in adults with busy professional lives. The moment this substitute for true self-acceptance is revealed for what it is, life crises often occur.

3. Involving oneself in self-controlled projects

We should not let the demands of the labor market capitalize all our efforts to achieve important medium and long-term goals.

Also It is also necessary to know how to establish goals and projects in the long term from one's own termsfrom one's own values. For example, writing a novel, building a hut in the garden so that our children can play in it, studying a career for the pleasure of learning about that subject, etc.

4. Learn to say no

Diplomacy plays a very important role in adult life, but that does not imply that we are obliged to say "yes" all the time. We must learn to be assertive and mastering the ability to say no in order not to follow the decisions of others.

5. If you find yourself overwhelmed by the situation, seek professional help.

Knowing when it is time to seek counseling is also part of establishing a healthy relationship with the roles of adulthood.. And this includes not blaming oneself for the fact of suffering or not being able to manage one's emotions correctly.

Are you thinking about starting a psychotherapy process?

If you are interested in having professional psychological assistance for individual patients, families or couples, please contact us.

At Avance Psychologists we have been offering our psychotherapy services for more than two decades, and we also work in the areas of coaching, neuropsychology and coaching. You can find us at our center located in the Goya neighborhood of Madrid, or you can arrange a first session online by video call.