The 5 stages of grief after a breakup

Five psychological states that we all must experience until we forget that special person.

Overcoming heartbreak and the breakup with the person we love is not easy.. There are many good moments that we leave behind, and the emotional torrent that this situation generates makes us live this moment as the end of the world.

Generally, one of the two members of the relationship is the one who decides to leave, and although it might seem that he or she is the one who suffers the least, this is not always the case. There are relationships that end but love lives on.. Something that complicates the transition to a new life without the loved one.

• You are interested in reading: "The 6 uncomfortable truths about the breakup of a couple".

It is not easy to accept the breakup

And of course, having reached the point of leaving behind everything lived, there are many memories that hit our mind again and again. Indeed, it is not easy to accept that the situation has come to an end, that the other person will rebuild his or her life without us.The emotional Pain can be even more devastating than the physical pain, and some individuals become addicted to the partner as if it were a drug.

The emotional pain can be even more devastating than the physical pain, and some individuals become hooked to the partner as if it were a drug. In fact, love and drugs use the same neural circuits.Psychologists recommend not having contact with the other person (at least for a while) to avoid relapse.

• You can learn more about the process of falling in love and the neurochemicals involved in this phenomenon in our article: "The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug".

Falling out of love is not a linear process

And, yes! Relapses are common in falling out of love because it is not a linear process.What do I mean by this? Well, there are ups and downs. There are several phases of heartbreak that are overcome with time, but it is possible to return to the previous stages when we see the loved one again.

For this reason experts say that in falling out of love, as with drugs, the best thing to do is "all or nothing". At least if we want to avoid suffering for a longer time and avoid relapses that can lead to a greater sense of failure and greater conflicts with the ex-partner.

• Recommended article: "4 keys to overcome the breakup with your ex-partner".

Time becomes a great ally for falling out of love

When we stop seeing the loved one, the neural circuits that are involved in this phenomenon weaken, and the levels of neurochemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, among others, stabilize. Over time, the body will adapt to the change and it is possible to return to normal.

That said, there are people who have serious difficulties in overcoming these situations.In these cases, it is necessary to see a psychologist specialized in this subject, and it is important to avoid the administration of drugs, since it is necessary to acquire realistic beliefs about relationships. In these cases it is necessary to go to a psychologist specialized in this subject, and it is important to avoid the administration of drugs, because it is necessary to acquire realistic beliefs about relationships, improve relationship skills with others, or learn to love oneself.

The phases of a breakup

But what are the phases of heartbreak that exist? What are their characteristics?

There are five stages of falling out of love and the last step is the acceptance. Each person experiences the stages in his or her own way and the time it takes to overcome them will depend on many factors. For example, the intensity of the feeling, the length of the relationship or previous experiences of falling out of love.

These are the stages of heartbreak:

1. Denial and isolation phase

This phase is characterized by the person denying reality and acting as if everything remains the same (the two together).. It is a generally brief stage, which usually occurs as a form of protection, because the impact of the breakup is so great that it is difficult to assimilate. At this stage it is important for the individual to be aware of the emotions he/she feels and the reason why they are there. It is necessary to see the situation in the most objective way in order to obtain more clarity.

2. Anger phase

This phase is characterized by the person feels a very strong rage and anger towards the person who has left him or her.. If in the previous phase the person did not want to accept the reality, now he/she feels a tremendous frustration for what has happened and blames the other person for the ills of the couple. Then revenge usually appears. Sometimes, it also happens that, in this situation, the anger is directed towards oneself or the people around them (and even towards the whole world).

3. Negotiation phase

This phase can be really dangerous if it is not well managed, because in an attempt to accept the situation and to get close to the other person againIn an attempt to accept the situation and get closer to the other person again, one can make the mistake of trying to do anything to get the relationship back. A bad approach can ruin the situation again, and even make it worse.

4. Depression phase

In this stage the person loses hope of getting back the person he/she has really loved.. He/she begins to be objective and to realize that there is no turning back. So he/she feels really sorry for the loss of the person who was so special to him/her.

5. Acceptance phase

After the sadness of the previous phase, the person begins to visualize a new future.. Accepts that the relationship is over and that what could not be, will not be. No longer seeks to be with the other person and feels at peace and ready to meet a new partner.

Lovelessness can be overcome

As we have seen, our psyche is prepared to be able to assume and overcome a breakup. However, there are there are some cases in which the pain and the bad feelings are difficult to assimilate and this can lead to some kind of psychological disorder.

If you think you are in a risky situation, do not hesitate to contact a professional.