The 5 types of conflicts in adolescence (in the family context)

These are the main types of conflicts that arise when raising adolescents.

Raising and educating a teenager can be a complex process, to the point that many parents need to seek professional help to improve in this kind of tasks and responsibilities.

This is so, among other things, because in adolescence the chances of conflicts between parents and children increase a lot: we are in a transition stage between childhood and adulthood in which discrepancies occur between the roles that each one should occupy in the family, and also young people stop trying to look like their parents.

In this article we will review the main types of conflicts associated with adolescence in the area of the family and upbringing..

The most important conflicts in adolescence

These are the most important sources of conflict in the context of parenting adolescents.

1. Generational conflicts

This type of conflict with adolescents arises simply because they are part of a cultural reality that is slightly different from the one internalized by their parents. That is, due to the historical, social and technological development of society, adolescents make their own values and principles that are not central to the generation of their elders.This may predispose to the emergence of conflicts (far beyond the political).

2. Authority conflicts

They arise from tensions originated in the resistance to the approach of norms and limits imposed by parents. Accepted "truths" are questioned.

In any case, in this kind of conflicts, it is easy to see that an important role is played by the set of roles associated with the idea of the good child and, in general, the expectations of what each one should do from his/her position in the family. In such cases, problems of disagreement may arise, especially considering that adolescence is the stage of life characterized by rebelliousness: young people stop having their fathers and mothers as referents and start to look almost exclusively to those of their own age or slightly older..

3. Conflicts of parental overprotection

These conflicts arise from tensions and difficulties due to parental resistance to accepting the child's new status as an adolescent in the process of becoming an adult. Young people demand the right to autonomy or progressive emancipation from their parents and demand recognition that they are at a different stage of development. But on the other hand, parents reach this stage after many years of prioritizing the safety and protection of a child, and it is difficult to change their mentality.

Thus, the key here lies in the process of self-affirmation of adolescents, as individuals with their own criteria, preferences, ways of organizing their free time, etc. These are tensions in the relationship between parents and children derived from the adolescent's effort to break with those relationship styles associated with the childhood stage..

4. Conflicts derived from other conflicts

Conflicts can be "inherited" or bridged from other previous sources of conflict. For example, the argument between a father and a mother can jump to the relationship between one of them and the adolescent child, or fights at school can feed arguments at home. Therefore, in order to understand them it is important not to analyze them as isolated phenomena: they are surrounded by a broader context.They are surrounded by a broader context.

5. Conflicts based on communication failures

It should not be forgotten that not all conflicts arise because of a clash of totally or partially opposing interests. Sometimes, everything arises because of a failure in the exchange of informationMisunderstandings, ambiguities that are interpreted in a biased and pessimistic way, etc. Once the communicative failure has occurred, from that spark a struggle of egos erupts that leads the young person or the parent to justify his or her initial hostile attitude, and from there the conflict can escalate.

Of course, previous problems such as lack of trust, fear or personal insecurities feed this type of conflict and facilitate its appearance.

Do you want to train in conflict management with adolescents?

As in everything else, it is possible to train conflict management skills in the family environment and, particularly, applied to the upbringing and education of adolescents. In this sense, there are courses dedicated to teaching the theory and practice of this skill set.

At European School of Coaching we have several training programs in areas such as emotional management, communication skills or conflict management from a leadership or mediator role. Among them, you may be interested in the Specialization in adolescents and families, a 100% online course of 30 hours oriented to coaches, psychologists and/or educators and assistance personnel. For more information, please contact us.