The 5 types of tantrums in childhood.

Ways in which children express frustration and anger through tantrums.

Generally speaking, tantrums are especially common in the first year of life; between the ages of two and three, they become more occasional, until they disappear almost completely between the ages of four and five (although we can find exceptional cases).

In this article we will focus on explaining the five most frequent types of tantrums in childhood, according to their cause and their pattern of action. In addition, we will explain in detail why they occur and how they constitute a necessary behavior for the formation of one's own identity and for emotional self-regulation.

Tantrums in childhood: what are they?

Before going into the different types of tantrums in childhood, we will explain what they consist of. Tantrums in childhood include a series of manifestations, as well as actions, both emotional and physical, carried out by a child in order to express a series of negative emotions (such as frustration or anger).

That is to say, they are emotional explosions that are experienced in a very intense way, which causes them to be expressed with great impetus (in short periods of time).

These explosive manifestations can include different behaviors, such as: crying, screaming, tantrums, agitation, oppositional behaviors (e.g. not wanting to get up from the floor), throwing oneself on the floor, etc.

A normal developmental phase

Tantrums in childhood are part of a phase of developmental development; that is, it is a natural process in the child, which will help him/her to acquire the following skills or competencies: tolerance to frustration, ability to delay gratification and capacity for self-management and self-control.

On the other hand, it is important to emphasize that tantrums develop in the context of a process of identity formation, and that they help the child to seek autonomy and self-affirmation.

What types of tantrums in childhood are there, how do we classify them and how do they differ? We tell you about them in the following section.

The main types of tantrums in children

As we said, there are different types of tantrums in childhood. The classification we propose here is the one that organizes them according to their causes. We tell you in detail what each one of them consists of, and how we can act to manage them:

1. Attention-getting tantrum

These are tantrums to get the attention of the caregivers; when the child throws a tantrum of this type, what he/she wants is to get attention, generally from the parents, as well as to dominate them.

How can we act?

What do we do with this type of tantrum? First of all, it is important to analyze the origin of the tantrum. On the other hand, ideally, we should attend to the child only when he/she is calm (not in the middle of a tantrum).

Once we detect that what he/she really wants is to get our attention, we should proceed to not pay attention to him/her, while at the same time we make him/her see that this behavior is not the right way to get our attention.

2. Tantrum to get something

In the second type of childhood tantrums, the purpose is different; in this case, to get or obtain something. That is, to satisfy a need or fulfill a desire.

How can we act?

In this case, ideally, we should apply extinction; that is, stop paying attention to the behavior (which means stop reinforcing it), making sure at all times, however, that the child does not hurt him/herself (for example, if we are in the street and he/she moves away).

When the child calms down, we will explain alternative behaviors to get what he/she wants (for example, asking for things properly, without crying or shouting). Remember, always according to the child's age, adapting our language and our explanations. On the other hand, we will also point out the inadequacy of their behavior.

3. Tantrum to avoid something

In this type of tantrum the objective is to avoid something (e.g. going to a certain place, eating a certain type of food, etc.). Thus, the child in question does not want to follow the orders or indications of his/her parents (or teachers, caregivers, etc.), and that is why he/she manifests the tantrum.

How can we act?

In these types of tantrums in childhood we must, as in the previous ones, make the child understand that this is not the way to act if they want to achieve something; in this particular case, we can choose to use conciliatory phrases, such as: "I know you want to spend more time in the park, but now it is time to go". It is important to validate their emotion, but not their way of expressing it.

4. Tiredness tantrum

The next type of tantrum in childhood is caused by tiredness or fatigue (in addition to the impossibility of sleeping). They occur especially in younger children, when they do not yet have a sufficiently developed language to express how they feel.

How can we act?

In this case we will act by showing our understanding and helping them to fall asleep (depending on age, time of day, etc.).

5. Frustration tantrum

Finally, the next type of tantrum appears due to a feeling of frustration in front of a situation or event. For example, it can appear when the child wants to obtain something and does not get it, when he/she is scolded for a bad behavior, etc.

How can we act?

When a tantrum appears in the child for not getting what he/she wants, we must value the effort he/she has made (in the case that this has existed), at the same time that we help him/her to understand that we cannot always get everything we want, and that this is not the reason why we should be like that.

Causes of tantrums

As we have seen, the causes of tantrums are multiple, which allows us to classify the different types of tantrums in childhood.

Generally, and depending on the age of the child, tantrums arise in situations of frustration (that is why it is essential to work on tolerance to frustration in them), or in situations where they do not understand what is happening.

If we add to this the evolutionary immaturity of this vital stage, as well as the presence of a language still under construction, it is logical that this type of behavior appears.

In this way, and by way of synthesis, we can say that tantrums arise:

• In moments of frustration
• As a consequence of not obtaining what is desired
• As a response to an attempt to demonstrate one's independence.
• As a manipulation strategy, in order to satisfy one's own desires.

General guidelines for action

As we have also seen, depending on the cause of the tantrum, the action will be one or another, although all of them should go in the same direction: to make the child understand that these behaviors are not appropriate to get what they want or to express their discomfort, and that there are more appropriate behaviors for this purpose.

It is important to always act with empathy and understanding, since we should not forget that tantrums are part of the psycho-affective development. Let us think that, in the long run, the management of these behaviors will help the child to self-regulate and manage his/her emotions in an adaptive and healthy way.

Bibliographical references:

• Caballo, V. and Simón, M.A. (2002). Manual de Psicología Infantil y del adolescente. General disorders. Pirámide. Madrid.
• Castillero, O. (n.d.). Childhood tantrums: why they appear and how to manage them. Psicología y Mente.
• Comeche, M.I. and Vallejo, M.A. (2016). Manual of behavior therapy in childhood. Dykinson. Madrid.
• Pernasa, P.D. and De Luna, C.B. (2005). Tantrums in childhood: what they are and how to advise parents. Pediatría Atención Primaria, 7: 67-74.