The 6 steps to get over a love rejection

Love breakups can be overcome... if you know how.

Love rejections can be une of the experiences that produce the most anguish and discomfort if they are not well managed.. 

On the one hand, the self-esteem of the person who experiences it can be affected if he/she interprets this episode as a sign that he/she is worth little as a human being and that other people do not want to relate to him/her. On the other hand, rejection can be, at the same time, a way in which a series of plans for life as a couple and illusions about how the relationship with the other person can evolve are truncated, which produces a disappointment that can lead to anguish or anxiety.

How to overcome a love rejection with philosophy

However, love rejections do not have to be a big problem if you know how to deal with them philosophically. That is why it is worthwhile to train ourselves in the ability to adapt to these situations.This will allow us to stop avoiding the possibility of them happening (fleeing from situations in which we must express our feelings) and at the same time adapt to a series of events that are beyond our control and have to do with the interests of another person.

1. Doubting one's own intentions

There is a strong social influence that pushes us to be constantly looking for a partner, even when we feel like being alone. A good way to cope with a rejection is to to question to what extent we feel a sincere desire to be with that person.. The emotional intelligence that helps us to see personal relationships from an appropriate perspective is also related to the ability to review and question assumptions about our own intentions, motivations and true goals.

This is why, in order to overcome rejection, it is essential to first consider whether it is a genuine rejection or not. genuine rejectionThat is to say, if what has not been reciprocated by the other person is a real couple project.

2. Take the situation as an opportunity

Love rejections can also be an opportunity to can also be an opportunity to train our own management of emotions and to become emotionally strong people. emotionally strong people. The very fact of having the ability to face situations in which luck does not accompany us is already a very valuable asset, and this ability can only be trained by taking advantage of moments of adversity.

Dealing with rejection in a constructive spirit will not only help the negative emotions associated with it to fade away as we pay less attention to them, but it also helps us in our personal development plans.

3. Recognizing the Power of Attention Management

We tend to believe that our perception of reality is given by our senses, but there is another factor that we almost never take into account: attention. In cases where someone does something that makes us feel bad, we tend to focus on the unusual aspect that causes us discomfort (their hurtful phrases, their hostile attitude towards us, etc.) and we do not realize that it would be perfectly possible to perceive the same stimuli by distancing ourselves from the unpleasant aspects of the scene.

In the same way, to overcome a rejection it is important to bear in mind that taking control of our attention to direct it towards the positive (or neutral) aspects of the situation is a large part of the solution.

When we overcome a rejection, we are also overcoming the loop of negative emotions it produces. That is why it is good to remember that much of the Pain that triggers a rejection originates not from what the other person has done, but from our focus on the negative feelings and thoughts that weigh us down. We must learn to "manually" correct our brain's tendency to focus attention on what is potentially hurtful in order to get out of the loop of negative emotions.

4. Avoid "suppressing" negative emotions.

This step is derived from the previous one. To stop focusing on the negative aspects of the rejection does not mean to struggle to forget this rejection nor to pretend that one has not gone through it, but to reformulate this experience in other terms. Trying to mentally "block" all memories associated with the other person is still a way of always keeping in mind what we are trying to avoid, since both the goal and the plan to forget about it all refer to the aspects of the rejection that hurt us most. While it may be wise to stop seeing the other person as often as before for a few days, the goal of this should be to get used to new habits and to have time for self-reflection, not simply to bury this relationship.

Ultimately, learning to implement coping strategies to overcome rejection in love involves having confidence in one's ability to deal with negative emotions, rather than denying them.

5. Demystifying rejection

Just as some people believe that the universe can conspire in their favor to help them achieve their goals, when faced with a rejection in love, it is possible that we perceive it as a sign that something that should go well for our interests has gone very wrong for reasons that we cannot explain and that, somehow, we attract bad luck. This thought is not only not rational, but it can also be an obstacle to the promotion of personal projects, since it leads us to assume that everything will go wrong. it induces us to assume that everything will fail and that, therefore, it is better not to invest a lot of effort in certain things..

Therefore, it is good to keep in mind a very simple fact: almost everyone has faced a rejection in love, but this is not something that is easily talked about. If it seems to us that a rejection is something exceptional that could only happen to us, it is because we do not have access to the private compartments of other people's lives.

Yes, love rejections can be very hard. But much of this feeling of anguish and discomfort has to do with taking this type of situation too seriously, believing that it is a very particular case. We magnify the drama We magnify the drama of one person not corresponding to another as the latter would like, but the fact is that this happens all the time, as is to be expected in living beings who do not have identical concerns and interests.

6. Detecting recurrent thoughts

When we are faced with situations that trigger stress or anguish, it is common that at first we lose the ability to control our flow of thoughts as we usually do. as we usually do. This is why recurring thoughts tend to appear that are in line with our mood and feed back on each other, producing a greater sense of discomfort in the case of negative emotions.

Knowing how to detect recurring thoughts related to self-rejection (such as "you are worthless" or "nobody wants to know about you") is essential to overcome rejection.