The 8 reasons not to use physical punishment on your children

The classic "spanking" is not a good method to educate.

The physical punishment has been, for many years, a normalized type of punishment. Until relatively recently, spanking was common practice in most families with young children; even today it is still easy to hear statements such as "a spanking in time never hurts".

Fortunately, in recent years some psychological currents have gained strength, such as the emotional psychology and positive psychology, which affirm that physical punishment is not the best option for correcting behavior, due to the emotional impact it has on the person receiving it. And this is based on a large number of reasons, among which we find the following eight that we have proposed to explain today.

Let's begin.

1. It provides negative modeling

Our behavior directly influences the behavior of our children. This means that if we use violence with them and/or in front of them, we will be favoring the normalization of this type of behavior, we will be favoring the normalization of this type of behavior.So sooner or later they will internalize it and repeat it.

Physical punishment, as the violent behavior that it is, will be reproduced by our children as a viable way to get what they want. By being violent we educate our children to be violent.

2. We teach the wrong problem-solving strategies

If we tend to use violence to solve conflicts, we are teaching that violence is a good problem-solving strategy.s. Our child will use it in any problem he/she faces if he/she does not know other strategies with which to solve everyday problems.

3. We impose fear

As physical punishment is given over and over again, we are causing our child to become fearful of these reactions. This, in a short period of time will lead to feelings of rejection towards his or her own parents.. 

In the face of this, it is possible that the child will start to hide important information for fear of this type of punishment. This is another reason why domestic violence does a disservice to the psychological stability of children.

4. We make our child lose confidence in us.

In fear of triggering violent responses from the parents, the child may begin to feel that he/she does not trust us, the child may begin to feel that he/she has no parental support, but rather punishment and suffering.

This can make it difficult for the child to feel sufficiently empowered to communicate his problems and concerns with the parents for fear of bad reactions and feeling even more misunderstood.

5. Loss of self-esteem

If physical punishment is given over and over again (especially if it is not accompanied by positive reinforcement for desired behaviors), the child may begin to internalize a feeling of invalidity, which will gradually This will gradually lower his self-esteem levels; the child will end up thinking that he deserves physical punishment and that he will never be able to please his parents.

This is known as learned helplessness.

6. Physical punishment says what is wrong, but not what is right.

For this very reason, physical punishment is not a constructive method. It warns that the triggering behavior has not been good, but does not offer correct alternatives to that behavior.

The child, therefore, will know that he has performed an undesired behavior for his parents, but he will not be able to learn what behavior to perform the next time the same situation arises. Therefore, physical punishment does not show how to improve, which increases the child's confusion.

7. We teach that violence is useful in all situations, and that the strongest is the one who wins.

We do not teach reasoning, nor do we teach friendly problem solving. We teach that the strongest always wins and the weakest always loses.. 

With violence, the child does not learn to respect authority figures, and this can lead to serious problems, such as transgression of rules. This can not only be a big problem when relating to others, but can also trigger bad relations with justice and society.

8. Deteriorated family relationships

In discussions in which physical punishment occurs there is a unilateral nonverbal communication. This communication is not favorable for any member of the family. Family members do not learn to dialogue and look for solutions that benefit everyone.

Some conclusions

These eight reasons demonstrate that physical punishment is not a recommended method for behavior modification, as its undesirable side effects are notorious.. 

Currently, psychology recommends other types of behavior modifiers that are much healthier and do not have negative repercussions, such as withdrawal of attention from undesired behaviors and positive reinforcement of good behaviors.