The adolescent: a petty tyrant?

Many adolescents have a tendency to behave in a despotic manner. Why?

The adolescent, a petty tyrant? Many parents sometimes ask themselves this question, simply because of the way they live their relationship with their children.

We all know, because we have experienced it in our own flesh and blood, that adolescence is a particularly complicated period for the boys and girls who go through it..

If we think about it, it has two sides: one way of living it is for the young person who goes through it, with all the physical, mental and emotional changes that this stage of his life goes through; but on the other hand, it is also for their parents, who although they are aware that this happens, sometimes they are forced to seek help to learn how to manage these changes in their children in the most suitable way possible.

And sometimes, one of these factors that resist adults is the tyranny of youth.

The teenager thinks he can do everything and is the center of the universe.

It has also happened to us, but when it is lived as a parent it is something very different, and it is necessary to live it with care so that the adolescent can be the center of the universe. It is necessary to live it carefully so that this situation does not lead to problematic behaviors for our children, such as addictions, for example. addictions, for example.

The point is that one of those behaviors that adults must know how to deal with correctly and live with is the feeling that children can do whatever they want, that nothing but their will matters.

During adolescence the feeling that nothing can stop the young person and that the world is at their feet is very common.And because of this, their behavior denotes that their actions have no consequences for them, when we are all very aware that this is not really the case.

It is the vigor of youth that makes them see life in this way, disregarding the rules and risks around them, and this can lead to behaviors that can be very harmful to them.

Is the teenager a tyrant?

Well, their attitude may imply yes from the moment the teenager is not only comfortable, but thinks that nothing goes with him, that he is indestructible, it may happen that he thinks he is more than others, that he has more rights. This can cause him to start treating others as his inferiors, which can lead to these behaviors. But This can also happen when he suffers.

For this reason it is common for young people to start adopting despot postures, giving orders to their parents or even being especially violent when they do not get what they want. Many times, anger is one of their usual tools to try to frighten anyone around them.

The point of all this is that although we do not like to see it, the tyranny of adolescents is something very common that many families suffer from. Perhaps now is the time to ask ourselves why this is happening, Why does it happen in some young people but not in others? Let's look at this issue a little more in depth.

• You might be interested in: "The 13 types of learning: what are they?"

Almost everything has to do with the learning you've been exposed to

We all have learning from the time we are little, and throughout our lives we never stop learning. The question is what is learned during childhood?The period in which we are like little sponges that absorb everything.

The methods in which aggressiveness or blackmail are the tool imply that this learning has not been adequate. It is more than possible that it has been the parents themselves who have provoked the problem by making the children understand that simply by existing they are the center of the world and that they deserve everything..

Obviously, as parents, we want our children to have everything, but if we approach it in the wrong way, it is very possible that we are fostering this tyranny of the adolescent.

Let's think for a moment about what happens when the boy or girl gets everything he or she wants just because. In the end, he will end up thinking that he is entitled to everything just for being him, without making an effort or working to get it. That will lead him not only to treat the people around him in a despot way, but everyone, acquaintances and strangers. Y if they ever don't get what they want, they will react with anger and violence, because we are denying them something they are entitled to and want.because we are denying them something they are entitled to and want.

However, the tyrannical attitude of the adolescent is not always related to education. Sometimes, young people can reach this point because they have had to live through harsh situations..

It is common, for example, to find cases in which as a result of a divorce the child has started to behave in this way. The reason is to blame one of the two and start mistreating that person to punish him/her and show his/her anger.

Are there consequences to this?

Of course there are. A boy or girl who believes that everything is his or hers, that he or she is entitled (more entitled) than other people to everything he or she wants, will encounter a painful truth: that is not so.

Seeing that he or she can't get what he or she wants, will start to get frustrated, which will create problems in all areas of his or her life.. That is why it is necessary to act as soon as possible.

What to do then?

The most effective thing to do is to educate. In this process it will be necessary to set limitsIt will be necessary to set limits, which our children will not like, but it is necessary to do so in order to encourage appropriate behavior.

A message that it is fundamental to send to the young people is that to have everything what is wanted is impossible, and that to obtain things it is necessary to work a lot.

Of course, it is also essential to teach young people that aggressiveness and violence are not going to achieve anything, and to stop these behaviors in a radical way, encouraging instead respect, effort and work. Only in this way will they understand what reality is and be ready to go out into the world to live it.