The benefits of accepting things as they are

Accepting things as they are is not the same as resignation, contrary to popular belief.

Accepting things as they are does not mean standing idly by and watching life go by as if there is nothing we can do about it.

For Jon Kabat Zinn, creator of one of the most influential techniques both mentally and physically, based on Buddhism and called Mindfulness, acceptance is; "...seeing things as they are in the present moment".

On the other hand, from the Stoic philosophical current that emerged in Greece centuries ago, Epictetus already pointed out that "the wise man is he who willingly accepts all the circumstances of life without desiring others".

Thus, acceptance would not mean that the person moves away from the world and from reality, but on the contrary. Rather, putting acceptance into practice would imply preparing ourselves mentally to be able to act toward what we consider valuable, natural and good both physically and mentally in spite of the circumstances.

Acceptance is not resignation

Resignation goes against the Stoic principlesBecause with it, we block ourselves and accept the fact of doing nothing. And to accept is not to do nothing.

Furthermore, when we resign ourselves to the facts of daily life, we are practically giving control of our state of mind and our actions derived from it, to something external to us.

When we fall prey to resignation and victimhood, suffering increases and our tolerance to frustration is reduced.This makes it difficult for us to relate to reality in a way in which we feel that what is strictly up to us, we control or put into play.

That is, if we blame our anger on our brother, because we resent him for making comments in front of the family about our physical state, it is more difficult for us to do anything to change our way of relating to that. It is more difficult because we may feel the sensation that nothing can be done to solve that difficulty, and that after a few attempts things remain more or less the same.

On the other hand, if we accept the thoughts and emotions that arise from deep within us, the fact of accepting them gives us the power to change the way we relate to them, the fact of accepting them already gives us in itself a disposition from which to take a valuable action for us..

A vital attitude that prepares us for change

Returning to the physical state, imagine that you do not like the image you have of yourself. Imagine that you don't like your body and that this is something that has been making you unhappy and worrying you for months or even years.even years.

Now, let's say you set out to train and put the appropriate means to change your physique and that, after two weeks of hard training, you get frustrated because you do not see the results you expected or that you had proposed. You started motivated, you drew the plan, you adjusted with great discipline to it but for whatever reason, you did not lose two kilos, you lost half a kilo.

So you decide to take a sabbatical week because after all, if all the effort you made has only resulted in that, what difference does it make.

Focus on control, not on the result.

The fact of not accepting that things do not go as we expect, does not imply that we have to stop doing them.. Accepting that we have made an effort and that we have not obtained the desired results, prepares us to persevere, that is, to act.

On the other hand, if our reaction to the results is based on resignation, with thoughts like "it doesn't matter what I do because at most I will lose half a kilo in two weeks", we are allowing ourselves to lose control of something that we can really control. Y what we can control in this situation is perseverance, discipline and commitment.. But if we see things from resignation, our mind will find it very difficult to act to feel better, to lose weight or to improve ourselves in other ways.

What learning to accept things brings us

In short, acceptance implies accepting reality as it is. Y one of the things we learn from reality is that nothing remains forever, neither what we detest nor what we hate.neither what we hate nor what we love.

Accepting the facts without being horrified or losing our minds over them, gives us the ability to respond better to a situation than when we let ourselves be carried away by what impressions and thoughts bring to mind about the event.

In conclusion, and as the Stoics suggested, it can sometimes help us to distrust it can help us to be wary of our first impressions, judgments and primary emotions about the events we experience day by day, since this, precisely, contributes to a better understanding of the situation.This, precisely, contributes to not taking distance from situations, thus losing contact with ourselves and with what does depend on our control, making it easier for us to be more willing to resign ourselves and not to accept things as they are.