The importance of good communication with teenagers.

Reasons why it is important to generate a good communication dynamic with your teenager.

When we talk about the growth process that takes us from childhood to adulthood, we often tend to overlook the fact that this is not a purely Biological process, limited to the maturation of organs and cellular tissues of the body.

The fact is that the biological maturation process is just as important as that which takes the form of physical changes. In this sense, it is worth remembering that the human mind grows and expands not through the processing of nutrients and vitamins over time, but through socialization, a much less individual phenomenon that is not limited to what occurs within the organism, but links it to its environment.

And in this aspect, communication is key, since together with experimentation and exploration of the world, it is the main vehicle for learning. For this reason, it is important to it is important to establish a good communication dynamic with our children during their childhood and adolescence: it allows them to mature emotionally and socially.It is something that allows them to mature emotionally and socially.

What are the benefits of maintaining good communication with your teenager?

Considering that many of the emotional and relational problems experienced in the family have to do with an inadequate communication style, taking care of this last element is capable of offering an almost unlimited amount of benefits. However, if we focus on the field of raising adolescent-age sons and daughters, the following advantages are worth mentioning.

1. It allows you to learn through us

As much as schools are known for devoting most of their efforts to enabling the students who attend them to learn about various important subjects, the fact is that the young people who fill them are constantly learning, often without realizing it, even beyond school hours.

It is only natural that this should be the case: our species is characterized by its predisposition to learn in virtually any context.. Unlike many invertebrate animals, which are capable of repeating the same mistake over and over again until they die of exhaustion after a few hours, we are very good at becoming aware of what is going on around us and trying to adapt to it.

However, this also has a negative side: we are able to learn and internalize patterns of behavior or thinking that are counterproductive in the medium and long term, and since they do not harm us immediately, we repeat them over and over again without realizing that we are participating in the problem that affects us. Fortunately, as we gain experience we learn more about our mistakes.

But... what about teenagers, who have a great predisposition to learn but not much experience? In this case, communication is key. If we are able to transmit well the knowledge we have acquired throughout our years of life, we can save them many unnecessary setbacks.

2. It helps you develop self-knowledge and achieve a balanced self-esteem.

Contrasting ideas with us can help them question beliefs about themselves, things they believed about the concept of "I" that was limiting them and led them to undervalue themselves, for example. Having an adult's point of view allows them to see things in a very different light from that of adolescents, who usually adhere to a certain set of beliefs.The fact that they normally ascribe to a different set of values and beliefs than others, both as a matter of maturity and as a matter of differences between generations.

3. It allows you to understand your place in the family

Not communicating well with a teenage son or daughter can mean that they experience family life as an alienating phenomenonThe child will feel the need to pretend to behave in a space that does not belong to him (or to isolate himself and interact as little as possible with the other inhabitants of the house, so as not to have to force his behavior). On the other hand, if communication flows well, he will be able to understand his role in the house, and feel that he is a respected member of the household.

4. Helps enforce the rules of the home

Another of the implications of maintaining good communication with a teenager has to do with his predisposition to comply with the rules of the household. The fact is that whether they respect them or not depends above all on whether they understand them, which usually requires the involvement of the elders of the household..

5. It favors conflict resolution

Of course, it should not be forgotten that conflict resolution between parents and their teenage children is much easier if there is good day-to-day communication even beforehand. If this is not the case the negotiations and reconciliations that are often necessary to settle these matters are met with greater initial resistance..

On the other hand, the lack of common moments to talk also makes it easier for adolescents to disregard the interests of the other members of the family, so that establishing a correct communication flow is also a conflict prevention factor.

Do you want to have psychotherapeutic support?

If you are interested in having professional psychological support for you or your son or daughter, please contact us.

At PSiCOBAi we offer child, adolescent and adult therapy, as well as family therapy. We work from face-to-face sessions in our center in Majadahonda or through online sessions by video call.

Bibliographical references:

• Kim J.; McHale S.M.; Osgood D.W.; Grouter A.C. (2006). Longitudinal course and family correlates of sibling relationships from childhood through adolescence. Child Development. 77(6): pp. 1746 - 1761.
• Matalí, J. (2016). Adolescents with behavioral disorders. how can we detect them, what should be done? Barcelona: Hospital Sant Joan de Déu.
• Navarrete, L.; Ossa, C. (2013). Parental styles and family quality of life in adolescents with disruptive behaviors. Ciencias psicológicas.
• Pantic, I. (2014). Online Social Networking and Mental Health. Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking, 17(10), 652 - 657.
• Reyes, A. (2009). High school as a space for the construction of youth identities. Revista mexicana de investigación educativa.