The key skill to make better decisions in life.

This is the determining skill when it comes to making mature decisions... or not making them.

In this article I am going to talk about what I have considered, from my experiences in psychotherapy, the most decisive skill in terms of conditioning a person's quality of life and enjoyment. We could say that it is the most descriptive skill of the trait popularly known as "maturity".

And what is this skill? Let me tell you. It is the ability to delay an immediate reward in favor of a greater long-term reward..

Below I will tell you about some experiments and other real situations in which this ability is key, and how in many cases it determines the quality of a person's decisions throughout his or her life. Let's understand "good decisions" as those actions that are more adaptive and functional, according to the context. We are not talking about wealth, for example.

An experiment with children (and candy)

In the 1960s, a reputed Stanford University psychologist named Walter Mischel coordinated a series of experiments aimed at studying the ability to to delay instant gratification in children in favor of a greater reward later in life..

It is very possible that you have ever seen a video related to this experiment, as they are very popular. Basically, the experiment involved children, who were left alone for 15 minutes in a room (monitored with a hidden camera) with some candy in front of them.

Before leaving the room and leaving the child alone with the candy, the adult explained to the child that if he did not eat the candy (immediate reward), he would receive even more when the adult returned to the room (greater reward delayed in time). The decision that ends up bringing more candy to the child in the long run could be considered smarter.

These experiments were very popular at the time, but did not achieve the expected success in terms of scientific conclusions. Mischel and his collaborators tried to to demonstrate the correlation between the tendency to postpone gratifications with success in other aspects of adult life..

However, they failed to demonstrate their conclusions in subsequent replications of the experiments, as other factors such as family socioeconomic status, etc., were not taken into account.

Implications of this ability for psychological problems

Although the experiments with children did not manage to demonstrate the correlations they intended, it cannot be denied that it is a determining skill in adult life.

In the therapeutic context, many situations can be observed in which the ability to focus on long-term rewards is vital to a person's lifelong mental health..

In the field of addiction, it is practically the paradigm. One of the key elements of all addiction is the person's inability to forgo consumption (or addictive activity) in pursuit of long-term rewards.

Basically, the pleasurable effects that the drug or addictive activity provides the person eclipses all other activities (time with family, exercise, etc.). (family time, exercise, work life, etc).

Among many other aspects, therapy works to help the person recover his or her ability to block instant gratifications (drugs) for a greater but later good (physical and mental health).

It also occurs in the management of other more everyday goals, such as dieting or establishing healthier habits in our lives.. Knowing how to say no to a chocolate muffin in pursuit of a long-term goal (the ideal weight, an aesthetic or sporting goal, etc.).

Many, many more examples can be found to explain the poor adherence of some people to safer and healthier habits, such as throwing plastics in the assigned containers, eating healthy, quitting smoking, etc.

The biggest obstacle in the face of the pandemic threat.

We all witnessed recent examples. During the first months of the COVID-19 pandemic, some people ignored health recommendations, by which they could save lives around them and safeguard the safety of the entire population..

In this example, some people ignored the long-term reward (individual and collective health) for their inability to give up immediate pleasures such as going to a discotheque, celebrating the promotion of a soccer team, going to the plaza on the night of San Juan, or gathering many people in the same space.

Simply put, some very immature people could not put those things off until after the pandemic. "I want the candy now, not later. I'm not willing to wait, even if I know I'll get more candy later. I want it now."

Every person has to put things on a scale, and make decisions every day. The ability to not be "blinded" by immediate pleasures is vital to make better decisions, according to the context and circumstances, according to the real needs of the individual and society.

Psychologist in Valencia (or online therapy)

If you are experiencing any kind of psychological problem, I can help you. You will find my contact details on this page, or on my website luismiguelreal.es.