The myth of the better half: no partner is ideal

Some people always seem to be unhappy with their romantic partner.

The expectations we have of our partner and irrational beliefs can cause great anxiety and create many disappointments. can cause great anxiety and create many disappointments.What if I missed the boat and it was my only chance for happiness? Why doesn't my partner meet my needs? Why haven't I found my better half yet?

That is why is also, in part, knowing how to adapt ourselves to reasonable expectations in order not to fall into a so as not to fall into a romantic fundamentalism that drags us and the other person down. Let's see how to achieve this goal.

Burying the myth of the better half

First of all, it is worth to stop and reflect on the myth of the better half so that this idea does not condition us.. This vision of love relationships leads us to consider someone as an extension of our own body, something without which we cannot function well because we are not complete.

The image of the better half not only serves to cast doubt on our ability to serve ourselves and become an autonomous subject with the capacity to decide, but also reduces the other person to the condition of a machine designed to read our minds and satisfy our needs.

The consequences

Although the metaphor of the better half may appear to be very romantic and tender, it turns out to be a misleading way to fill a void.. One way or another, if we believe that the other person is an extension of our own body, it is very likely that we will end up pressuring this person to satisfy our needs in the hope that they will think and act according to those needs.

When we irrationally believe that perfect complementarity exists, we demand that our relationship fit, surprised at how well we have connected and coupled in the beginning, when it is easier for us to notice only the facets we value positively. Thus, the overvaluation of what is new and young can lead to a feeling of loss when routine appears..

Thus, on a theoretical level, the other would complete us and make us feel happy and full of love, but in reality all we do is put too many expectations on the other, which generates conflicts, disappointment, sadness, etc.

What to do?

It is worthwhile to turn the metaphor of the half orange around, why don't we go from a dependent and unhappy half orange and act like a whole orange, emotionally self-sufficient and free?

The key is to realize that we don't need anyone to make us happy, to free ourselves from our irrational beliefs and expectations. Otherwise, why do we love our partner as he or she is?

Lovers come and go but the myths of love settle. If we are able to abstract ourselves from these cultural impositions on love and romanticism that we see in the movies, we will surely be able to value our romantic partners for what they are: unique and unrepeatable people, with errors and virtues that, for whatever reason, have managed to enjoy our trust.. We must learn to celebrate this.