The Need for Attachment: Oxytocin and the Social Connection System

Oxytocin is a key hormone in attachment and social bonding.

I have always found attachment and its implications for development and emotional regulation fascinating.. Therefore, I find it essential to learn about how this basic psychological phenomenon affects our lives and development.

Several years ago I was fortunate to meet Sue Carter and Stephen Porges at a neurofeedback conference in Venice. Sue is one of the first researchers in the field of oxytocin and Stephen, on the other hand, is the creator of the polyvagal theory, a theory that develops and explains how the activation of the social connection system makes us feel physiologically calm, secure and socially connected.

I took with me the visions and contributions of both as a treasure that has helped me to organize and understand attachment, security and the body/mind interrelationship.

This mind/body interaction is observed from the very beginning of gestation.The body/mind interaction is observed from the beginning of gestation, organizing both biology and psychology to provide the most appropriate environment for the development of the fetus and then the future baby.

The link between oxytocin and attachment

From the beginning of gestation, oxytocin, the hormone of love, bonding or also called shy hormone (because it needs security to manifest itself, as well as the motivation to become socially involved), will be secreted.

Oxytocin, among other functions, prepares the mother's brain to become involved and fall in love with the future baby.. These oxytocin levels will reach their highest states in the hours following delivery and during breastfeeding. The mere presence of a baby leads us to secrete oxytocin, which promotes that state of calm, where time stands still and we look for the baby's gaze and delight in it.

In those glances, in those words intoned as caresses, in that gestural involvement we get socially involved with the baby, and thus the dance of attachment that favors emotional regulation is propitiated.. Breathing and Heart calm down, smiles light up faces and we enter the space of coherence between baby and mom or dad or caregiver, where time dilates and we simply enjoy the mutual delight.

The therapeutic implications of this process

This very mammalian and human characteristic of the tendency to establish deep emotional connections from birth is what has been missing in early trauma or traumatic development..

As a therapist who seeks to repair attachment, among my objectives are to propitiate those states to activate the social connection system and to favor the behaviors that generate oxytocin, so that both processes help us to get closer to that connection, and above all to facilitate the perception of security so that all of the above is viable.

To learn more...

On May 8 and 9, 2020, Sue Carter and Stephen Porges will be giving a seminar in Sitgesfocusing on the topic of how oxytocin and polyvagal theory reflect processes for understanding connection, safety and social bonding. It is an opportunity to hear directly from them and learn from them. Understanding the neurobiology of attachment and bonding becomes a therapeutic advantage.

If you are interested in learning more about the seminar, please contact the Instituto Cuatro Ciclos, organizer of this event.

Author: Cristina Cortés, specialist in trauma and attachment and director of Vitaliza.