Top 5 Characteristics of a Toxic Relationship

A summary of the most important characteristics of toxic relationships in friendships and couples.

Affective relationships are much more than a space in which we find help and even moments of calm and fun between the challenges and demands of everyday life. In fact, what characterizes them is the way in which they link us emotionally with others: they make us act through logics that go beyond our own individuality.

However, this has both positive and negative aspects. Among the positive ones we find how stimulating or even exciting it is to connect with someone and to give and receive affection or love. And among the negatives, we can easily lose objectivity when it comes to recognizing asymmetries of power in these relationships, or even relationships that make us lose more than they bring us. That is why it is important to know how to recognize the characteristics of toxic relationships.Let's see what they are.

The characteristics of toxic relationships

Toxic relationships are those that, in spite of being perpetuated thanks to the fact that we have already become accustomed to maintain them by participating in them, negatively affect one or both parties involved.. In other words, they are ties that are based on dysfunctional interaction dynamics, which harm someone's well-being but, at the same time, continue to exist and appeal to two or more people.

Sometimes, toxic relationships are toxic because one individual takes advantage of another or constantly attacks him or her. At other times, there are two people who suffer through the relationship, without it being apparent that one takes more advantage of the relationship than the other.

In any case, it often happens that those who have a hard time staying in these relationships normalize the situation and are not fully aware of what is happening to them.

Sometimes, they even confront their friends when they call attention to the fact that there are worrying warning signs in the relationship they have with a certain person. That is why it is necessary to stop to think, as objectively and analytically as possible, about whether one is exposing oneself to relationships or friendships that meet the characteristics of toxic relationships, which are as follows (although not necessarily the same as those of a toxic relationship)These are the following (although they do not have to occur all at the same time).

1. Emotional manipulation is frequent

Many of the toxic relationships show their capacity to harm people through the multiple occasions in which emotional manipulation appears. This can take the form of gaslighting (making the other person believe that their ability to understand or perceive what is happening is impaired, in order to blame them for what one is doing wrong), emotional blackmail, and/or deception related to how one feels about the other.

The bad thing about emotional manipulation is that it is difficult to detect, since it appeals to feelings and affections; it is difficult to distance oneself from these behaviors in order to analyze them coldly. This is why it is advisable to have an overall view of the situation, It is therefore advisable to have an overall view of the situation.For example, it is advisable to keep a diary in which to keep notes on what one experiences and feels in the company of the other.

2. Predominates the fear of breaking the relationship

Another characteristic that is usually found in toxic relationships is that they are maintained not so much for the positive experiences they bring, but for the fact of not wanting to go through the situation of breaking them.. The latter would produce a disruption, a change in what we have become accustomed to, and therefore would imply leaving the comfort zone (so called not because we feel comfortable in it, but because it provides us with a way of living "by default", which is perpetuated without us having to think about what to do next).

3. The impression arises that the relationship is only based on promises for the future.

Many people who stay in toxic relationships rationalize their motives for doing so. rationalize their motives for doing so by assuming that their suffering will be compensated in the future, when the bond will bear fruit.when that bond will bear fruit.

For example, they fantasize about scenarios in which the other person changes radically and learns to be fair, just and compassionate. If you notice that the only argument for which you assume that it is convenient for you to continue nurturing that relationship is based on hypotheses of the future, that is a very bad sign: it should bring you positive aspects in the present.

4. Moments of violence may arise

Some toxic relationships are, fundamentally, contexts of physical and/or psychological abuse. In fact, in situations of this type in which the extreme is reached, it is better not to speak so much of a toxic relationship as of mistreatment and to be clear that it is a dynamic of violence that must be stopped as soon as possible by putting an end to the relationship and seeking the necessary help. And do not forget that situations of verbal attacks (such as insults and deliberate humiliation) also constitute a form of abuse.

5. They generate social isolation

It is not that these relationships "steal time", but rather that the person who tries to impose him/herself on the other (if there is one, as we have seen that not in all toxic relationships there is someone who is clearly in charge) tries to make the other person lose contact with his/her friends, family, etc. This is associated with the aim of making the other person more dependent on him/her..

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