Top 5 post-confinement relationship problems

Some factors that may come into play in the couple's relationship after the end of confinement.

Simply moving from a situation in which we do not have many behavioral options to one in which we have more possibilities from which to choose does not always give way to greater psychological well-being.

Paradoxical though it may seem, facing greater complexity is a challenge capable of generating problems comparable to the lack of occasions in which we can make decisions.

In this line, the exit from the context of confinement due to the coronavirus pandemic is a factor that can facilitate the appearance of problems in people living together, and more specifically, in couple relationships.. Let us see why.

Couple problems linked to the end of confinement.

After the first wave of coronavirus infections, common sense suggests that as long as hospitals do not collapse again and confinement is not necessary, most of the problems associated with the spread of COVID-19 are a thing of the past. However, this need not be the case in all cases.

The health, economic and social crisis triggered by the coronavirus has forced many families to go through a period of relatively sudden changes. a period of relatively sudden changesIt has not always been possible to prepare for them in the ideal way.

And the truth is that this anomalous situation of change has not yet ceased, even though we no longer have to spend much time in our homes. We call this context "the new normal" for a reason: the confinement is over, but the situation today is not the same as it was before the pandemic hit the country.

Being able to go out for a walk, to work or to leisure and hospitality establishments is not the same as doing so after having gone through a phase of quarantine and almost absolute confinement. With the return to the streets, many problems have gone away, but new ones have appeared due to the new ones have appeared because of the confinement situation we have gone through not so long ago.. And this is noticeable, for example, in the area of the couple.

These are the main reasons why forms of discomfort associated with disaffection can appear in a marriage or a dating relationship.

1. Disagreement about the safety of exposing oneself to others

This is one of the main reasons why the end of confinement can fuel couple conflict: asymmetries in what is perceived to be safe and what is not.

This is especially true for couples who are in regular contact with their parents, who are older.

2. Changes in the division of household and child-rearing tasks.

Couples with young children are forced to adapt their routine to a new situation. This brings an element of chaos to the couple's relationship, whose plans for the immediate future can be greatly affected by even something as simple as not knowing whether there will be a child in the future. something as simple as not knowing whether there will be a regular school year or whether it will be all over the Internet..

3. Different expectations about the vacations

For many people, especially those who are under the most stress at work, it is very frustrating not to be able to have a holiday, it is very frustrating not to be able to have the vacation they had planned..

In a stage of uncertainty such as the post-confinement context, this gives rise to discussions, given that the exterior is safe enough to go to many interesting vacation destinations, but the lack of knowledge about what will happen in the coming weeks can lead to the fear of throwing money away, or even of barely being able to go out. And in the face of this, it is very easy to stir up arguments and old hostilities that have been building up.

4. Unequal family needs

Assuming that each partner in the relationship has other living relatives for whom he or she is concerned, it is not uncommon for one of the partners to have unequal family needs, it is not uncommon for one person to feel more than the other the lack of time with their family members, either to help them or to be with them.Whether it is to help them or to visit after not being able to do so for months because of the quarantine phase, it is not uncommon for one person to feel the lack of time with family members more than the other.

Think, for example, of someone whose family is in another country and whom they have not seen for months. Traveling would mean running the risk of not being able to return normally and spending time without seeing your partner, either because of the lack of available flights or because of a forced quarantine imposed on those arriving from other States in a situation of risk.

We can also think of someone who wants to visit his or her family despite living with his or her partner and his or her father, a population at risk from COVID-19 due to age or illness.

5. Changes in mood

For many people, anxiety continues even at the end of the confinement phase. These kinds of psychological disturbances of an individual nature may give way to psychological problems of a relational nature, i.e. affecting two or more people.that is, affecting two or more people. Let us think of the discomfort experienced by those who see the person they love suffering, but at the same time do not fully understand him or her because they do not experience the present in the same way.

Are you interested in going to couples therapy?

If you are thinking of turning to professional couples therapy to address a problem that is affecting your relationship, I invite you to contact me, I invite you to contact me. I am a psychologist with more than 15 years of experience offering individual and couple therapy, and I currently attend both in person at my psychology center located in Madrid and through online therapy. On this page you can see my contact details.

Bibliographical references:

• Biscotti, O. (2006). Terapia de Pareja: una mirada sistémica (Couples therapy: a systemic view). 1st ed. 1st ed. Buenos Aires: Lumen.
• Campuzo Montoya, M. (2002). Pareja humana: Su psicología, sus conflictos, su tratamiento. Mexico: AMPAG.
• Christensen, A.; Atkins, D.C.; Baucom, B.; Yi J. (2010). Marital status and satisfaction five years following a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional versus integrative behavioral couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 78(2): pp. 225 - 235.
• Dattilio, F.M. & Padesky, C.A. (2004). Terapia Cognitiva con parejas. Bilbao: Editorial Desclée De Brouwer.
• Sternberg, R.J. (1987). Liking vs. loving: a comparative evaluation of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102(3): pp. 331 - 345.