Top 7 Causes of Toxic Relationships

These are the main triggers of toxic relationships in couples, with friends, etc.

Toxic relationships can become so in many ways; in fact, the behaviors that can ruin a friendship or a love relationship are practically infinite in their variety.

However, in practice, it is possible to group and classify the causes of toxic relationships. the causes of toxic relationships. In this article we will see which are the most important and how they deteriorate the emotional bonds between individuals.

The most frequent causes behind toxic relationships

These are the main triggers of toxic relationships in the area of family, friends, partners... As we shall see, these are not totally independent psychological elements with clear separations between them, but in many cases they overlap.

1. Accumulation of reproaches and arguments

The fact of having gone through several situations of arguments and misunderstandings that have led to adopting a defensive attitude is already in itself one of the causes of toxic relationships.

In other words, the "toxicity" in a relationship perpetuates itself, by generating a snowball effect whereby neither of the two people (or more) involved in these quarrels wants to expose their vulnerabilities and tends to interpret what the other does as a sign that he/she is going to come back with new accusations, reproaches, etc.

Of course, this has a solution, but it is difficult to break this dynamic if something is not done to break this inertia.

2. Psychopathic personality traits.

Psychopathy can be summarized as the tendency not to give importance to interests and desires, and not to empathize. It is one of the aspects of the personality, so that it is embodied in all areas of life. is embodied in all areas of the individual's life, and remains more or less stable over time, although in certain circumstances it may increase (e.g., in the case of a person with a tendency to be unresponsive).It remains more or less stable over time, although in certain circumstances it may increase (e.g., in a war context) or weaken (e.g., going to therapy).

Here it is necessary to remember that psychopathy is not a psychological phenomenon that is present only in a very small percentage of the population, in people who are incapable of empathizing with others and who tend to see others as mere tools to achieve their own ends.

Although in most cases we speak mainly of "psychopaths" and individuals with antisocial tendencies so marked that their stories are shocking (serial killers, swindlers, etc.), psychopathy is actually a form of "psychopathy", psychopathy is actually a spectrum of behaviors, a matter of degree.. Thus, it can be said that even the nicest people have certain traits of psychopathic character, even if they are very subtle and generate practically no problems in the way they relate to the rest of society.

In short, the more marked the tendency to psychopathy of an individual, the more prone he or she will be to transform his or her personal relationships into toxic relationships.

3. Jealousy

This is one of the causes of toxic relationships that most influence the dynamics of life as a couple, both in courtships and marriages.

Jealousy is associated with a need for control over the other person which, if it cannot be satisfied, generates frustration and even makes some individuals try to emotionally manipulate their partner so that he/she feels guilty for exercising his/her freedom.

In the most extreme cases, jealousy goes hand in hand with psychopathic personality traits, since the other person is seen as a tool that must bend to one's wishes at all times.

4. Envy

Envy can have serious implications both in friendship and in love relationships. The fact of seeing it as an attack on one's own dignity that the other person is doing well not only generates discomfort and frustration; it can also cause the envious person to unconsciously try to undervalue what the other person is doing, or even encourage or even encourage the other person to throw in the towel through mockery, reproaches, etc.

5. Fear of officially breaking up

The fear of breaking up is present in many relationships, but also in certain friendships. The idea of giving up dealing with people who have meant a lot to us is painful, and for that reason, it is a step that many prefer to avoid, given that it would generate more immediate discomfort than the option of continuing to give opportunities at that particular time..

Social pressure can also play an important role in this cause of toxic relationships. For example, this can lead some people not to dare to break up with their partner because it would make their parents sad, or because everyone believes that their relationship is happy and the person believes that ending it would make them believe that they have been faking it all this time, etc.

6. Attempts to adapt to gender roles and expectations.

This cause of toxic relationships is related to the previous one, and has to do with the roles imposed by society.

Sometimes, these invite people to feel bad if they do not fit certain stereotypes in their relationships.. For example: the man may not need more emotional support than the woman, the woman should adopt a conformist attitude regarding her work expectations and prioritize the family...

7. Need to be alone

Certain problems in life can only be faced alone, or at least require the person to have moments alone to organize their thoughts and manage their emotions.

The inability to have these moments alone may cause their relationships to deteriorate, as these individuals feel destitute and disempowered.These individuals feel overwhelmed and become irritable.

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