Tyrant children: causes, signs and how to take action.

Important information for parents in distress.

When we talk about the Emperor Syndrome or the Tyrant Childwe refer to a series of behaviors a series of behaviors and attitudes of the child aimed at psychologically dominating parents or other caregivers. or other caregivers.

In the short term, these abnormal behaviors can produce problems in the family, such as anger, frequent shouting between parents and children, usually resulting in isolated families, in which interactions with family and friends are reduced to a minimum.

In the long term, and if not detected and corrected in time, it could result in violent adolescents. Adolescents who could use, as we observe too often lately, physical force to control and dominate their parents and even teachers.

What are the characteristics of the tyrannical child?

The first symptoms appear around 6 years of age, with the greatest problems occurring around 10 or 12 years of age, both in boys and girls.

Among the most most relevant characteristics we can point out:

What has happened for a child to exhibit this type of behavior?

In one generation, we have gone from a strict and somewhat authoritarian education to an education -in many cases- in which we do not know very well how to set limits for children. Parents do not assume the role of educators since, in general, during the week they spend little time with their children and it is others (grandparents, caregivers, etc.) who assume this role.

Some parents, moreover, are afraid of frustrating their children, are afraid of frustrating their children and do not want to impose almost any rule on them, avoiding, if possible, to say "No" to anything.

Other times, there is an evident discrepancy between the parents themselves on how to educate the children, either because of a lack of criteria, because the parents are separated or because there is simply a lack of fluid communication within the couple.

"The family is the basis of society and the place where people first learn the values that will guide them throughout their lives."

-John Paul II

2. Social influence

Children are growing up in a consumerist society, where the immediate and what is achieved without effort is a priority. In short, a society that rewards quick and easy success.

Children spend many hours spend many hours watching television, exposing themselves to a series of hedonistic and individualistic messages where values such as discipline and respect are not reflected. In this scenario is where parents must move, who, most of the time, feel overwhelmed with the upbringing of their children.

"There is happiness only where there is virtue and serious effort, for life is not a game."

-Aristotle

What can parents do for their children's education?

"To educate a child is not to make him learn something he did not know, but to make him into someone who did not exist."

-John Ruskin

• They have an exaggerated sense of ownership. The phrase they like the most is: "It's mine!
• They often use tantrums, tantrums or screams to get what they want.
• They continually demand attention from their parents.
• They cannot stand frustration: they do not know how to take "No" for an answer.
• They always argue with the rules imposed on them.
• They do not recognize authority figures, neither at home nor at school.
  • You may be interested in reading this article: "10 strategies to improve your child's self-esteem".
1. Influence of the parents' educational style
• • To learn more: "The 8 basic tips to avoid spoiling your child".
• Spend more "quality" time with their children: listen to them, talk to them, play, share...
• Do not try to be friends with your children. Impose discipline and respect. Without ceasing, of course, to be affectionate with them.
• Establish clear rules and limits in terms of children's education.
• Prioritize consensus between parents.. The voice of the parents must be "one" regarding the education of the children.
• Do not impose punishments that are never carried out. Reinforce positive behaviors.
• Make children gradually take responsibility for certain tasks. little by little for certain tasks.
• Do not overprotect children.. Lose the fear of saying "No" to them. Frustrate their expectations from time to time.
• Do not label the child as "bad" or with any pejorative label.